Yes, it is awful of you Crimson!! But does that not just illustrate the danger inherent in cliches of all types? When you begin to think that there is something wrong with you because you are not grief struck by the death of some celeb you have never met; when you are terrified of going into hospital because 'everyone comes out worse than they went in'; when women in danger of their lives will not seek refuge because we all know what these places are like and the 'type' of women who go there.
Just for the record, having spent the largest part of my working life visiting refuges most days (and more than a few middle-of-the-nights), they are actually warm, welcoming, supportive places, where women are helping women to recover from abuse and regain their self respect. Of course with, say 5 women and 10 children from all walks of life occupying one big house there is the occasional falling out but in general the atmosphere is positive, friendly, often hilarious, as being no longer in fear 24/7, children blossom and women rediscover their old selves.
I think most refuges now will have one smoking area set aside and drinking in the refuge is a big NoNo. You do encounter women who seem unable to help themselves, often those who have been co-erced into refuge by social workers. On the other hand any woman who can stand up to a violent bully, leave him, all her worldly goods and her home behind and seek to create a better life for herself and her children is one AMAZING (I do not apologise for the use of amazing in this context), brave and inspirational women. As a new WA worker I was told that the Workers draw their strength from the refuge residents rather than the other way round and I soon found this to be true, also, although the 'staff' can help with practicalities, the biggest benefit of being in a refuge is the learning, advice, encouragement and support shared amongst the families there.
