Gransnet forums

AIBU

Snail Mail

(12 Posts)
absentgrana Sat 17-Sep-11 17:03:55

I'm not a Luddite and find electronic communication hugely useful and an integral part of my life. However, I am sufficiently old-fashioned to think that there are some pieces of correspondence that should be handwritten. Thank-you letters and letters of condolence spring to mind – an email or text message is just not right for personal missives of this sort – let alone a txt msg!

glammanana Sat 17-Sep-11 17:17:47

I totally agree absentgrana but many have lost or never been taught that thank you letter's etc are the correct way of expressing your gratitude,also I was mortified when my DGS1 had an application for a job rejected via e-mail,I am of the opinion that if he took the time and effort to answer the advert and forward his CV the company could at least have the decency to reply via letter.

absentgrana Sat 17-Sep-11 17:27:09

Yes glamanana and there have been people sacked or made redundant by text. I think it's all to do with good manners – which, I reckon, are timeless.

My daughter always e-mails to let me know that grana's goody box has arrived. When the time comes to open the presents, the children either talk to me on the telephone or draw pictures to post to me or both. My eldest grandson (nine) recently had a 30-minute conversation about the series of books I have been sending him discussing our favourite characters and what he thought the outcome of the stories would be (I had already all them, so I knew).

I wrote a "peom" to thank my daughter and her family for presents sent for Mr absent's and my birthdays (four days apart). I think she particularly liked the bit the went:

My knees felt quite weak
Seeing earrings so chic.
I'll wear them with pride
And put one on each side.

Appreciating other people's thoughtfulness, kindness and simply bothering, whether it's buying a book they think you will enjoy or cooking a meal to share with you, is hugely important.

glammanana Sat 17-Sep-11 17:42:55

Love the poem.

Jacey Sat 17-Sep-11 18:32:46

It's a bit like sending someone a text on their birthday ...rather than spending time talking with them on the telephone...especially when you are not going to actually see them to celebrate the event.

absentgrana Sat 17-Sep-11 18:39:42

glamanana Thanks, but it's a peom not a poem. There was a lovely, deep blue-green shrug as well.

How soft is my shrug
And exceedingly snug,
But apart from the feel,
I really love teal.

The point, of course, was that a silly piece of doggrel made a special kind of thank you and a thank you is important when someone has done something kind. A text message isn't good enough and almost is no better than nothing at all.

glammanana Sat 17-Sep-11 22:14:14

I would have preferred my DGS to have received no reply from the company that he applied to as he was in my mind dismissed from their applicant's with out even the offer of an interview,this is a big multi-national company and he was applying for a part time position to help fund his pupilage through chamber's to help lessen the financial burden on my DH and his mother,but I have been told this afternoon he has secured a position at another company and he will start working for them next month,they replyed by letter this morning.

absentgrana Sun 18-Sep-11 09:41:10

That's good news in every way glammanana. smile

raggygranny Sun 18-Sep-11 14:43:10

Children love to receive letters even before they can read - emails and texts are not much good in this regard. My MiL used to write regularly to all her great-grandchildren and they would write back, or send drawings or scribbles; the correspondance was very important to them and MiL. In fact after she died we found a letter addressed to one of the children, ready to be posted, so she kept up the habit right to the very end of her life.

Acheron Sun 18-Sep-11 15:58:33

absentgrana* I love your "doggerel". And what a nice thing to do.
I do think that letter writing is a dying art although when my son was at prep school they were very old fashioned and still had to write a letter home on Sundays (He is 19 so not that very long ago) and even if it was only half a page it was lovely to get a letter mid-week.
I do use email but I do make it as chatty and as interesting as possible and I really hate those electronic "round robin" type things that people send out with their Christmas cards.

GoldenGran Sun 18-Sep-11 16:11:34

I am a benign tolerant soul, but I have let it be known to my God-Children, that only hand-written thank you letters are accepted. Actually, A phone call will also do. My nearly 6 year old GD writes letters all the time, she loves it, long may it last!smile Have just re read this it sounds very pompous, sorry! Acheron I can't stand the round robins either

Acheron Sun 18-Sep-11 16:23:07

GoldenGran Not pompous at all. I used to make my son write thank you letters or call people personally. Good manners is what it is. I think an increasing number of children now don't say thank-you in any shape or form.