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To ask if you create a limit for adult children/grandchildr ens' Christmas presents?

(30 Posts)
greenmossgiel Mon 26-Sep-11 13:21:41

This year I'm really going to try to cut back on what I pay out for Christmas presents, especially for adults. Has anyone decided to try to put a limit on costs for this? hmm

Granny23 Mon 26-Sep-11 13:55:53

My sister and I do this for each other's families - usually £10 per adult or child. As far as immediate family - DDs, DH and 3DGC are concerned, I am afraid the sky's the limit.

harrigran Mon 26-Sep-11 14:00:15

I asked my Dc to stop buying gifts last year. We only bought for DGC and it makes it easier all round. My DC are very generous so I used to receive a lot of creams and perfumes but I could not use them fast enough. I told them I was happy to receive gifts on my birthday and flowers on Mothers day that way I do not stockpile.

supernana Mon 26-Sep-11 14:06:18

We shall give a gift to the grandchildren. Have a long-standing understanding with each other and the adults that we would prefer any money they intend spending on us to be donated to a good cause such as Farm Africa.

GoldenGran Mon 26-Sep-11 14:43:40

We are renting a house this Christmas, in Norfolk, and we are doing secret Santa, so each person only buys for one person. The Grandchildren don't come into this arrangement, but this year I am taking them to a Christmas show instead of buying them toys.

numberplease Mon 26-Sep-11 15:19:16

We tend to spend between £35 and £40 per grandchild, and around £20 each of our children and their husbands/wives/partners, but more on our eldest daughter who`s still at home, around £60. But we`ve been thinking of spending less on the older grandchildren who are now working, and a bit less on our own kids, seeing as our income has decreased now, but I`m worried about being thought stingy.

GoldenGran Mon 26-Sep-11 15:21:02

No numberplease, it's not stingy. It's not a competition, it's a gift, and is given with love, it's not about how much you spend.

supernana Mon 26-Sep-11 16:44:49

Well said GoldenGran smile

Gally Mon 26-Sep-11 17:01:52

Yes quite agree GG. I think this year I am going to tone down the present giving. Money to the GCs in Australia so my daughter can get something appropriate, as much as I love buying things for them, the postage is ridiculously expensive - sometimes even more than the gifts are worth! In the UK the GCs are only babies so won't know the difference between a £ or £100. Tend to buy small but useful things for my daughters and SILs plus some money. One daughter desperately needs a new front door so will put something towards that and another needs a new bed so will do the same there. Sounds a bit boring, but would rather it was useful than frivolous in these times of austerity grin

Annobel Mon 26-Sep-11 17:09:29

When I was a child the big presents were for birthdays, which spread the cost over the year, and at Christmas we had stocking fillers. Relatives gave us things like gloves (furry ones every year!), slippers and, when I got old enough, nylons. We kept to this scheme when the boys were little and it came as a surprise when our friends' children got things like bikes at Christmas. How did they afford it? We came to an agreement with my sister-in-law that we would spend no more than 50p on any present - this was 35 years ago when you could still find gifts for 50p. Nowadays, I find good bargains on Ebay and Amazon and I don't think I've ever given the GC anything they didn't want or didn't like.

glammanana Mon 26-Sep-11 18:02:46

My DH and I decided yrs ago not to buy for each other,what was the point in paying £s out of our joint account only to use it on ourselve's anyway,so come Christmas we just buy a token surprise for each other to go on the tree,as for the DGCs they all get a surprise from their Christmas list,and DCs get perfume or aftershave jim-jam's and dressingowns each.I don't bother with my own brother and sister's only their DCs and that is £s or gift token in a card now we are retired.

Hunt Tue 27-Sep-11 10:01:45

We have a lovely family Christmas party with silly games and a sausage and mash meal. The present giving is limited to Secret Santa gifts to cost no more than £10 and that's it. We always try to have a new game. Last year's was Upstairs, Downstairs Pass the parcel. As you unwrapped the parcel, an item of Victorian clothing was revealed which you had to put on. SIL looked great in a bowler hat and a pair of long johns!

raggygranny Tue 27-Sep-11 16:22:13

For years we have had an upper limit for Christmas presents. It used to be £10 for adults, then £15. Now we do Secret Santa among the adults, with a limit of £20 - and only one present for each of us to buy! For the GCs I tend to spend about the same (i.e. £20) on each of them, saving more expensive presents for birthdays.

Libradi Tue 27-Sep-11 17:43:20

Hunt I love the sound of your Upstairs Downstairs Pass the Parcel, my DH was talking about doing something similar for our Christmas Day Party this year.
Nearer the time it would be great to have a thread for ideas for Christmas games. We usually play a lot of mad games too, last year my DH set up several games based on the tv series 'The Cube'.

Back on the subject...
I usually spend around £20.00 - £25.00 on the adults sometimes a bit more, sometimes less if I manage to find a bargain and about £40.00 on my DG but that may change when more DG come along, she will have a sister this year but I doubt the new baby will be getting very much as she will only be a few weeks old.

Baggy Wed 28-Sep-11 06:49:48

To go back to green's original question for a moment, my mum has fourteen grandchildren and two great grandchildren so she put a limit on cost many years ago. She could not manage otherwise! My four siblings and I, plus the various daughters and sons in law agreed what mum called a "non aggression" pact as well — we don't exchange presents at christmas. Some years ago I also told my mum not to worry about sending me a birthday gift but to give something to her favourite charity instead, if she felt like it.

glassortwo Wed 28-Sep-11 07:58:13

My sisters and I have an understanding that children have presents Christmas and birthday until 21, to the value of £10. I make all the GC same spending no more than £40 and just a small token for their parents.

My husband and I usually buy something for our house which we are refurbishing this christmas may be some timber window frames.

I find that I never know what I want or need, but I really want a kindle this year so dont know how that will work, but its my birthday at the begining of Feb so may have to wait till then, or there again i could treat myself wink

eGJ Wed 28-Sep-11 16:38:29

Hope you get your kindle glassortwo; manage to get given one for my birthday. Well worth it!

I give the adult children Unicef "gifts" They both say they don't want any more "stuff". Works well and always make sure the gift is appropriate to the DD. Unicef better than some otrher charities as it doesn't go into a "big black hole" but get used for what you request.

PatriciaPT Thu 29-Sep-11 19:02:59

If I know that one of my DC or DGC want something particular that they are likely to make good use of, I will spend more. I gave up trying to be 'fair' (if you define that as spending the same on everyone) when my DC were small - I reckon it all evens out in the end. Last year I gave donation to Kids' Company in lieu of gifts for adults and as they didn't have a system like some charities, I made my own little cards telling the recipients what I'd done. Also last year Kids' Company had a system where you could order (if I remember rightly) from John Lewis something specific for them to give a child.

In theory I enjoy buying presents but there are always one or two people who are really difficult to buy for and I have several times bought a duplicate book for DGC whom I don't see very often, which is a bit disheartening.

monkeebeat Thu 29-Sep-11 20:32:57 - what are the capital letters in the previous responses eg DGC DD DH I wondered if GC was grandchild. Help

greenmossgiel Thu 29-Sep-11 20:35:49

DGC=Darling/Dear grandchildren
DD= Darliing/ Dear daughter
DH= dear husband
GC= grandchild!

It took me a while to work them all out to start with too, monkeebeat - got it now though, (I think...)!

Ganja Fri 30-Sep-11 08:53:00

Two of my DGC have birthdays just after Christmas, which is a nightmare. If you wait to buy in January popular toys have often sold out. The Good Gifts catalogue do lots of charity gifts that young children can easily relate to, at reasonable prices, and they provide the cards too.

Annobel Fri 30-Sep-11 09:16:15

Christmas is surrounded with birthdays in my family which makes Christmas all the more difficult to budget for: 2 GC, 1 nephew, 1 niece (all in December), DS and partner in January. But I'm sure someone here can beat

numberplease Fri 30-Sep-11 15:15:48

I didn`t plan my family very well either, I had one child in December, 2 in January, plus hubby`s birthday`s in January as well. Also a grandson in December.

apricot Sun 02-Oct-11 19:37:50

re family planning - I was born at New Year and always thought it the worst time ever, a whole year to wait for any more presents, everyone broke and had enough celebrating. I had all my children in summer and think this should be obligatory. No more poor babies who don't see the sun until they're 6 months old! Of course, sex would have to be illegal except from August to December.
Yes, I limit presents to what I can afford as my family expands and my income goes down.

yogagran Sun 02-Oct-11 19:44:59

You could always give them an "official birthday" like the Queen!
My birthday is in May which I think is the best time