Oh, Jesse, we've all been there, hanging on in and hoping that it'll be OK, and the older we get the harder it is to break free. You've been together all these years - is this new, unexpected behaviour? If so, maybe, just maybe, there's reason to talk about it, for you to say OK, you've had your fun but this is how it's going to be from now on. But if, as we all seem to suspect, you've spent many of the years you've been together waiting for, expecting and dreading this day, I think you know the course of action you must take and just need "permission" to take it. So take it. Protect yourself as far as you can, materially as well as emotionally. Don't be afraid to lean on other people, family, friends and other Gransnetters; we'll all do our bit.