favouritism toward children?
I'm new here I have lurked on mn for quite a while but have never written anything but I am posting here because it would help me if I could get an understanding from a gran's point of view.
My son is 7 months old, my partners sister also has a son who is a few weeks younger, they are both beautiful children and I get on well with my sil.
When my son was born my mil and fil were all over him, but they are quite short on money so I understood that things like taking him out or buying gifts ect would be difficult and I never expected them to.
Then my sil gave birth to her son. Since about 3 weeks after this, my mil and fil have not even sent us a text message. It is now going on for 5 months since they have contacted us. We live quite far from them so popping in isn't an option and whenever we try to cal to arrange a visit they vet their calls through their answering machine and text us saying they are busy. When we have offered to have them stay at ours they say they cannot afford the journey, yet my mil has a blog and she is frequently driving to my sil to see her other grandson. We haven't done anything wrong so I don't understand why they have suddenly become disinterested in us like this.
My sil lives equally far from them so distance is not the issue, and they always find the time and money to go over there to see her son. I have just seen some photos of my nephew having a lovely time with his nana and grandad with an ice cream and bags of things from a known toy shop listed individually. Also numerous times on the blog my mil has referred to the little lad as "special" because he has a slight cleft palate.
So is it wrong to feel hurt for my little boy that his nana and grandad prefer his cousin, and can find time and money only for their daughters child and not their sons child? Is she trying to compensate because the other little lad has a cleft palate? ( I don't know anything about these so I don't mean to sound unsympathetic if it is a serious condition or disability)
I don't want or expect them to take him out or buy him gifts but it seems their finances are only a hinderance when it comes to my son. When my son does eventually see her I think he will be afraid because she is effectively a stranger to him and it is so sad and unfair that he has spent most of his first year without a grandmother (my mum passed away before he was born) when other grandparents in the world are crying out just to see even a photo of their grandchildren?
Thank you so much for reading
notevensecondbest Mon 24-Oct-11 16:06:23
notevensecondbest Mon 24-Oct-11 16:07:51
Elegran Mon 24-Oct-11 16:30:47
Annobel Mon 24-Oct-11 16:49:07
shysal Mon 24-Oct-11 16:50:15
notevensecondbest Mon 24-Oct-11 17:13:19
crimson Mon 24-Oct-11 17:18:56
notevensecondbest Mon 24-Oct-11 17:42:07
em Mon 24-Oct-11 17:57:20
notevensecondbest Mon 24-Oct-11 18:08:43
em Mon 24-Oct-11 18:20:50
Annobel Mon 24-Oct-11 18:25:57
Elegran Mon 24-Oct-11 18:30:34
notevensecondbest Mon 24-Oct-11 18:31:37
notevensecondbest Mon 24-Oct-11 18:34:38
crimson Mon 24-Oct-11 18:46:54
notevensecondbest Mon 24-Oct-11 19:18:36
gracesmum Mon 24-Oct-11 19:42:08
grannyactivist Mon 24-Oct-11 19:49:38
notevensecondbest Mon 24-Oct-11 20:06:38
Elegran Mon 24-Oct-11 20:10:48
Notsogrand Mon 24-Oct-11 20:18:23
notevensecondbest Mon 24-Oct-11 21:03:53
Faye Mon 24-Oct-11 21:09:39
harrigran Mon 24-Oct-11 23:39:47