a bit late, but I just saw the thread. I have been in your position, with my children more or less second best to my sister's, it is difficult, but the problem is with your mil, not you or your baby! My mother's explanation has always been that she never had to worry about my kids, as me and my husband were capable parents, but my sister was different, not in a solid relationship, not as strong as me and her kids needed her more. It never occured to her that this could be hurtful to my kids and husband. It has been a bit of a struggle over the years, but my advice would be to try and navigate these waters without cutting bridges if possible. In the end, people can only give what they can give, and they are the losers , not having a close relationship with your son, and cutting themselves off from their own son. I am not sure about WW3, but you certainly have the right to point out to them how hurtfull their attitude is and how much their GS misses them. Over the years I have found that people always have a justification for their actions, even if their justification comes from a misunderstanding, or faulty reasoning. Get to the bottom of it, and if this doesn't improve the situation, get on with your life, enjoy your baby and husband, don't let bitterness spoil it. Children are very resilient. From the remarque yor mil made re your mother, ie not having to share gc, and her attitude when you first came home with baby, it sounds as if she is very self centred, and unable to understand the word sharing. May be your son isn't missing much!