Goodbye, Goodbye, I'm leaving you goodbye !!!

Beautifully put, GoldenG - "..a safe house..."

PS How did she find out GOW??? You say she feels hurt, but how about you? It's like a parent telling a child such and such a friend is "unsuitable". I was very hurt when GS was tiny and I had my wrist slapped (ever so gently) for posting a little vid of him gurgling and playing on FB. I cried for days, feeling I was a silly old woman who should leave this sort of thing to the younger generation and my confidence took a real hit. I actually severed all ties with FB and another site I enjoy for days until I realised I was only hurting myself. There is another thread about hurtful comments - I think we are very vulnerable, much more so than when we were younger and our children can often really hurt, usually (I hope) unintentionally. You say GN has been a lifeline when you are lonely - don't cut that line, pleeeeeeease!

How awful GOW, don't go. This really is a form of emotional blackmail.
Who will you talk to when you are upset ? Please think again and do as others suggest, change your identity.

Oh GOW please stay with us I think what ever your DD has said she will not let it go even if you de-register,as much as we love our DCs they do sometime's try and lead our live's for us whilst expecting us to be at beck and call for their problem's,just something we live with as part of being a mum I think,would your DD stop from discussing other family stuff on any posting she made on a forum for fear of upsetting anyone I think not,please use one of your 9 live's and come back to us asap. xxx((((hugs))))

Grumpyoldwoman...Please do not leave us....maybe if you feel then just lie low for a while, You were only thinking out loud, and you werent slagging anyone! off..there really is no need to leave, im sure you are recieving prvt msgs!!! I won't say anything more as we don't want to fuel the already delicate problem....just have a think..and at least for the time being maybe just pop on to say "hello" theres no harm in that is there? [flowers]

Don't go - come back under another anonymous name and don't tell ANYONE.

Totally agree with everything that has been said. I try to be careful about what I say, because everything can be taken out of context and you can't finish every post with a 'but I love them all very much even though....'..we all know that anyway. But we all need to let off steam, and we do get taken for granted and need to talk about it. If you still can't face posting on the main forum, send us all pm's. I'm sure no one would mind that..I certainly wouldn't. xxx

GOW you can come back under another name. There are lots of web sites which offer a good, safe email service for free. To get a second identity on GN you only need another email address. The original one remains and you ignore it and log in on your second name. BUT you must be careful that your computer does not show which sites you have been on. If your daughter is supsicious she might check on you.
I am secretly on GN and have not told anyone, neither husband nor family. A woman has a right to a private life! But I cover my tracks.

If GOW Daughter is reading this................. leave your mother alone!

Definitely come back under another name. I did that when I realised that my DD's MIL might be able to work out who I was from my GN name, and I had been rather, shall we say, less than complimentary about her grand parenting skills. I quickly stopped using an obvious name and changed to one less obvious. Devious but necessary to maintain a civil situation. Don't even know if she goes on here but didn't want to take the risk. I also agree strongly with gracesmum when she says NEVER share what you put on here with family. I see this as a bit like a confessional (bit extreme I know but you know what I mean!!). What is said on here to our new on line friends stays just on here and it is a great opportunity to vent your feelings and get support. Take great care GOW and remember we are all here for you x

Can't say any more than has already been said GOW but I really hope you don't leave us, you will be missed.

GOW Don't Go!! You need us and we need you. You are important to us. Come back incognito

So sorry if you leave GOW.. what a pity , please do as the others say and come back in an alias...

What can I say? It's all been said already. I hope you make the whatever decision is best for you and one that you can happily live with.

Lor Grumpy, we all need somewhere to download....serves her right for peeking. If we eavesdrop we are bound to hear something we dont like. Methinks we need to have a competition to choose your new name.....I suggest 'Mumstheword'........do come back!

Yes,reincarnate GOW!good luck.

Like the others have just been saying, GOW, we really don't want you to go. I can't comment on how your daughter has reacted to this, because I don't know her, and I suppose she may be feeling mortified that so many people have seen her to be selfish and quite unfeeling regarding your own needs. She may already have felt herself to be selfish, but couldn't see any other way of doing things and just let things keep running as they have been. I was chatting to a close friend today, and I remarked that my son had commented on my wrinkles! He sounded quite surprised actually! I had replied to him that as I was nearly 62, it's no wonder I have wrinkles! My friend and I have decided that perhaps our children don't like to recognise that we're ageing....and not only because we may be less likely to have the ability to help them, but maybe because they see that they may not always have us around. Stay with us, please? United we stand!

YES; I've had an absolute stinker of a day today. Can't talk about it but KNOW that if I did everyone would understand, and I feel loads better for that.

Oh dear, GOW please change your nickname and stay!

Agree with all that has been said - stay with us, you need to be able to offload and have your own space so to speak. A new name - how exciting! Hang on in there

Adding my twopennyworth-don't go , change your name AND password for the computer-if she is so busy (your DD)she shouldn't be reading your posts and don't leave your computer available.

Grumpyoldwoman I have noticed that as soon as "our " daughters give birth they not only want to control their baby (as they should) they think they know all there is to know and they start to try and control their mothers ! I know because this has happened me . I now get advice off my daughter!
We will miss you please do come back live your own life, its too short not too

I was so sorry to read your post gow - and I understand that you don't want to 'upset your children'................but please re-consider. Like many other g/n this is the first ever time I have become involved in a community such as this but I find it very supportive and thought provoking. I never mention my g/n activity to anyone - only my dh knows - this is MY space and I'm holding on to it!! I do hope you can find your way through this and that one way or another you can stay in touch

GOW I thought at first you should just say no you are not going to stop going on Gransnet. Now I think it's time to change your name. If anyone knows your pen name they can read your posts and they are always going to monitor what you write. I do understand that she probably feels in a bind wanting what is best for her baby and who best to look after a grandchild but his grandmother. You do have a lot on your plate and you can only do so much. I also think you need Gransnet as it gives you an outlet when you are stuck at home. We are all too old to be told what to do by our children, at least growing old does give us some rights!

Just logged on and I am so sorry that your daughter did not understand. The tone of your posts was not slagging your daughter off but expressing how exhausted your are. There is very little I can add to the above posts except that I felt very angry on your behalf that anyone should have access to your personal computer accounts -it is tantamount to opening someone else mail. We all need some privacy in our lives. I hope you decide to reregister under a new name as I have found your posts very interesting and informative.

GOW.... it's all been said really. Do stay. We Grans need to 'offload' occasionally to lovely 'forum-friends' who will listen, advise and support. I'd have been in a very dark place, these last few days, without their uncritical and unconditional help.
Take a deep breath......