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to be able to have at least a day in bed?

(42 Posts)
gracesmum Fri 02-Dec-11 17:18:48

Is it asking too much to be able to stay in bed in an attempt to stave off flu without having to deal with a crisis? OK DH brought me lemsip and soup but did he have to go out without telling me, without having let the dog out first, withut shutting the sitting room door so she couldn't get in and pee on the sofa? She is a very clean dog, but doesn't bark to go out - she just whimpers and looks stressed so you have to know what's what, and worst case scenario the hall floor would have been better than the sitting room. He will of course go bananas at her when he eventually gets back form the friends he has apparently dropped in to see.
I was angry with her, but it's not entirely her fault - I heard her whimper but assumed he was dealing with things - until it was too late. He is not a dog person, is he had been he might have taken her for a walk first, but she adores him so the wee may have been stress at being left. THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME I have had to drag myself out of bed to deal with things, Becauseof his medical things the world revolves around him and his needs and I could scream-WHAT ABOUT ME!

Annobel Fri 02-Dec-11 17:23:21

Nice rant, gracesmum. Hope you feel a lot better for getting that out of your system. grin

greenmossgiel Fri 02-Dec-11 17:28:59

I totally agree with you, gracesmum! The poor dog, too! Years ago when I'd slipped a disc I was told I was to lie flat in bed and not move (that's what the treatment was in those days). I lay upstairs for hours without anything to drink or eat and absolutely bursting to go to the loo. My considerate DH hadn't given any thought to the fact that I would need to be fed and watered etc, and I could do nothing without help. Shouting downstairs didn't help as he had TV on loudly (as I wasn't there, telling him to turn it down!) Out of sight, out of mind, I think! hmm

gracesmum Fri 02-Dec-11 17:29:40

Thank you!!!!!!!! Perhaps I am getting bettergrin
but seriously - do we ever get to retreat and leave everything to them?

jingl Fri 02-Dec-11 17:32:22

I know just how you feel Gracesmum. Whilst I've had my bad back and ribs I have to keep reminding DH of what needs doing. And of how lucky he is to be waited on hand and foot in normal circumstances.

I hope you left the wee for him to clean up.

jingl Fri 02-Dec-11 17:33:59

And you wouldn't believe the slightly hard done by hero act I get when he does manage something. hmm

gracesmum Fri 02-Dec-11 17:34:38

No Jingl he'd go berserk at the dog and threaten to take her to Battersea or wherever - as I said he is not a dog person and while she adores him, he is less than tolerant.Then that upsets me sad

jingl Fri 02-Dec-11 17:37:41


Flippin' men. hmm

Carol Fri 02-Dec-11 17:58:39

Perhaps it would help if the dog wee'd on him! He would soon remember she needs to go out, poor girl. I hope you're feeling a bit better now gracesmum

Ariadne Fri 02-Dec-11 18:03:43

Oh, how I recognise this scenario! Do they have to be told everything?

However, when things were really bad, DH would have done anything for me, but bless him, didn't quite know how to do it.....I longed for the duvet cover to need changing just to see him try.

nanapug Fri 02-Dec-11 18:04:05

Oh dear, I feel for you gracesmum. Hope you feel better soon. In our house I find my DH is wonderful for a day then he gets bored. Often then one of the DDs or GC get the same thing and I have to be magically better to help out. As you say, just one day would be good!! Take care and rest as much as you can whilst staying sane wink

Ariadne Fri 02-Dec-11 18:24:18

Oh yes- sorry Gracesmun, got carried away with my own rant! Take care of yourself - probably the best way. Hugs.

greenmossgiel Fri 02-Dec-11 18:28:17

Crikey - yes! Forgot to advise plenty of fluids and paracetamol when required! Keep cosy! blush

glammanana Fri 02-Dec-11 18:31:03

gracesmum here's hoping you are feeling a bit better and that your little dog is not too stressed as well,my barney tends to wee when we get home even if we have only been away for a short time he gets so excited to see us and can't help himself,but yes is is unreasonable for your DH not to take your little one for a quick walk,if he is fit enough to meet up with pals then fit enough to take dog for a quick wee.thanks for you x

HildaW Fri 02-Dec-11 18:35:00

gracesmum....big hug to you. I fully understand you here. My DH is a bit of a functioning hypochondriac who seems to see illness in others as a huge sign of weakness on their part whilst all his 'symptoms' appear to him to be of huge interest to all and sundry. Can remember developing a slipped disc after a long walk (I'd had a bit of a niggle but has ignored it (sound familiar?). Next thing I know am on all fours is the most tremendous pain and literally dont know what to do with myself. DH stands around erring and umming. Daughter comes home (shes down from Uni) and takes one look at me and announces 'I think Mum needs a doctor'. They manage to get me in car and around to out of hours clinic where I am pumped full of pain killers and given anti inflammitaries etc etc. Thank goodness she was home. Its not that his unloving or callous....just does not seem to appreciate what another person is going through. And dont get me strated about how he was when I had serious food poisoning....well heres a upstairs in bed pooing for England (10days at least) he pops up letting me know hes got himself some 'lovely Liver and Bacon from M&S!' So there you go gracesmum, join the sisterhood....P.S., hope you have beaten the bug and feel better soon XXX

gracesmum Fri 02-Dec-11 19:07:30

Oh how reassuring you all are! Thank you!smileIt is the principle isn't it? I have taken some more flu relief and feel much better. It's probably just a cold, and they are rarely terminal, just that I do have to accompany him to London for the day tomorrow as it's not an easy journey and he can't do it on his own so I just have to be well enough.
Any when DH came home he was totally contrite (!) and said Oh poor dog and apologised to her (!) admitted it was entirely his fault -

Now up, I think I might feel too poorly to make supper however wink
PS "little "dog is a greyhound about the size of a pony but with a brain the size of a pea!!

Gally Fri 02-Dec-11 19:21:35

Gracesmum Hope you feel better really soon. Sometimes I think it really isn't worth being unwell is it?
I remember when my Mum was really ill and my Dad had to do the cooking - he appeared in the bedroom with a packet of frozen peas and said ' how do I cook them?' She managed to raise her head off the pillow and said ' you read the bl...y instructions on the back' - she must have been about 85 at the time and was usually most ladylike.

nanarosie Fri 02-Dec-11 21:13:25

Gracesmum - sorry you are not well, seems to me that only men get flue, bad back or any other thing, we are just exagerating (sp?) and are looking for sympathy. Good job we are usually the ones who manage to carry on regardless. Hope you manage your journey tomorrow - safe journey.

numberplease Fri 02-Dec-11 21:29:50

Sorry you`re not well Gracesmum, hope you`re better very soon. I`ve had many a rant about my other half, when he`s ill, he`s always at death`s door (it`s usually a cold), but when I`m ill, although he acknowledges the fact, and sympathises in his own little way, I`m still expected to carry on as usual, whilst he carries on as usual, doing absolutely NOTHING!!

grannyactivist Sat 03-Dec-11 00:33:47

Glad to hear the outcome was good Gracesmum - the dog seems to have stayed away from the 'doghouse' and you will no doubt find ways and means of making sure your husband's contrition extends to you too. Hope you soon feel better.
My husband has very often had to look after me and the family during periods of illness, or if I've been in hospital. He isn't wonderful at the TLC, but he's a whizz in the house and with the children. He learned to plait our daughters' hair when they were younger, he can bake a cake, cook a roast (or most other meals) clean, mop, wash, iron...SO, when I recover I often feel (ever so slightly) put out that life seems to have ticked along very nicely without me.
Poor men; sometimes they just can't win can they? hmm

Carol Sat 03-Dec-11 09:02:27

Glad it turned out alright gracesmum. We used to have a clumber spaniel who was also short in the brains department. She would leave a puddle by the open back door and give us a quizzical look, as if to say 'I'm as puzzled about this as you are!' Good job she was adorable. Gett better soon.

JessM Sat 03-Dec-11 09:21:26

Not unreasonable at all Gracesmum to have a day in bed if you are feeling rotten. Those symptoms are telling you to conserve your energy for fighting the bugs.
If I was ill in bed I would want ME looking after me. I am good at that kind of thing... But not many men are I guess...
My DH's family are all "don't complain and just keep trucking" types (there are many positives to this of course. And, given they family history, there are good reasons. ). But minor illnesses - and flu would be one of these - pass beneath the radar. I was reassured though, this time last year, that when his mother was really ill at home, he took his turns at looking after her and all the other ladies in her church were amazed and envious what a good son she had. So I do know that if they chips are ever down I can rely on him.
Hope you are feeling better.

Annobel Sat 03-Dec-11 09:31:16

Hope you are feeling better and your DH's contrition isn't yet exhausted. Don't overdo it, whatever 'it' may be.

Quiltinggran Sat 03-Dec-11 12:37:28

Take care Gracesmum. I hope you're feeling better today and that you were well enough to make the trip to London and that it hasn't worn you out too much.

gracesmum Sat 03-Dec-11 22:44:31

Up early for trip to London but at the very last minute DH said he felt a bit "spaced out" and his blood pressure had hit the roof so he decided not to go, he went back to bed. It isn't the first time we have had to cancel something and won't be the last, but maybe the first time I was glad?
I am getting better but back and ribs hurt when I cough, must have pulled something. He's still being quite good at looking after me/helping, but may be on my last day wink