Gransnet forums


Christmas day lunch

(47 Posts)
countrygourmet Mon 05-Dec-11 17:01:46

My daughter and son in law have been married for 15 years. They are always late when they come to us for a meal (which is not very often as they spend a lot of time on their business). They now have a 2 year old and a baby of 5 months. They use them as an excuse to be even later ("it took ages to get her ready, she was playing about", or "we were nearly ready then I had to feed him again", etc. etc.). Last year it was 3.30 before we ate. We would like to eat on Christmas day at 2.30 (3.0 at the very latest). I feel that is fair on the children - who will get tired and need a rest - we don't want them still eating at 4.0, tired and grumpy; also fair on my husband and me who get up early and have all the cooking and clearing up to do. Am I being unreasonable about it? If not, can anyone suggest any strategies I could employ to get them here (they live half an hour's drive away) in reasonable time for lunch.

supernana Wed 07-Dec-11 13:42:42

bagitha is right. Theirs will keep warm [if slightly congealed in the oven]. Have your meal, clear your dishes, put your feet up, G&T in hand, and tell the latecomers that you were dead beat [thanks to days of preparation etc] and you felt sure that they would understand blah blah!

Bellesnan Wed 07-Dec-11 15:03:43

Whats happened to goodwill to all men - think as usual its gone out of the window for Christmas. Our daughter decided on Boxing Day last year that a turkey for them was just plain hard work so invited herself to us this year. That's ok because they are coming on Christmas Eve and husband and s-i-l are in the kitchen as head chef and sous chef - but no turkey just a lovely rib of beef and the most wonderful apple strudel as cooked by my husband. The tinies will have their food when they want it, probably sausages or fishfingers or anything else that keeps them happy for JUST ONE DAY. Surely on the one day of the year which should be a family day - anything goes. My 91 year old m-i-l who will be on her own for the first time is absolutely excited at the prospect of being with her 3 year old and 1 year old g-grandkids after spending last Christmas with her husband who has dementia and is now in care. I just wish I could have my son and his family with us - even a Christmas card from him would be wonderful!

Carol Wed 07-Dec-11 15:20:18

Sounds like your plans for the family will be enjoyed by everyone Bellesnan

bagitha Wed 07-Dec-11 15:38:58

Sounds as if you'll have a lovely time, bellesnan, with your well-organised family team work smile. The OP's problem is apparently that her daughter does not reciprocate the goodwill her mother is showing by providing the meal and doing all the work because she doesn't realise the difficulties her 'laid back' (alias rude) attitude causes her mother. Not much goodwill from the upsetters of other people's kind and generous plans methinks. I don't think it's fair for one side to extend all the goodwill and the other side just to take advantage ever, never mind just on certain days of the year. If it's rude to turn up late for a meal that someone else is cooking for you on 25 June (and it is) then it's rude on 25 December as well.

jaimsdesuja Tue 27-Dec-11 07:44:27

Message deleted by Gransnet.

bagitha Tue 27-Dec-11 07:46:04

jaimsdesuja, go away and stop advertising.

jaimsdesuja Tue 27-Dec-11 07:51:24

Message deleted by Gransnet.

bagitha Tue 27-Dec-11 07:52:24

Go away!

jaimsdesuja Tue 27-Dec-11 07:52:30

Message deleted by Gransnet.

bagitha Tue 27-Dec-11 07:53:31

These have been reported and will be deleted.

granto7 Tue 27-Dec-11 11:09:38

Well spotted bagitha thanks

supernana Tue 27-Dec-11 12:07:12

As usual, I appear to have missed something of note! hmm My bucks-fizzed, addled-faddled mind is in go-slow-mode. smile

bagitha Tue 27-Dec-11 12:22:07

Just some silly twerp posting silly links on a whole string of AIBU threads and being told to b****r off. He/she/it was being unreasonable.

PoppaRob Tue 27-Dec-11 12:41:19

My sister is a self absorbed laggard too. The sad thing is that she fails to acknowledge it. I remember when her twins were being christened... she was almost an hour late, to the point that the poor priest came up to me and asked if we could all move out of the church so the next family could do their thing. Of course I said yes, explained to the assembled throng that we'd be swapping spots with the next family, and reminding them that as I was adopted I shared no DNA with my sister! As we all moved outside who should arrive but my sister, the twins and sheepish hubby. Sister asked me what was happening and was quite angry that I'd made this arrangement with the priest. Her point was that it took time to organise everyone. My point was that if she'd started getting ready an hour earlier they would have easily been on time. I told her that the christening had nothing to do with Judeo-Christian ritual and was more about her posing and wanting to be seen doing the socially acceptable thing. She was more concerned about having the right bloody candles and a new frock than showing respect for the priest. It went straight over head that her atheist brother had more respect for the church and the priest than she did. Selfish cow. The priest was a cool guy... when I explained at the rehearsal that I was an atheist he said as I'd been christened and confirmed C of E I was safe, so I'd be a "BigBangFather" rather than GodFather to my nephew!

supernana Tue 27-Dec-11 12:47:59

baggy thanks for the explanation. smile

supernana Tue 27-Dec-11 12:54:02 it! grin

I seem to be in memory-mode at the mo'. When our first granddaughter was baptised, the priest was as drunk as a skunk. He kept repeating himself...we had the same address thrice over. He couldn't remember whether the babe was a boy or girl...and closed his eyes so often, for so long, that I thought he had either gone into a trance, or passed away whilst still managing to remain upright. shock

gettingonabit Tue 27-Dec-11 15:09:09

YANBU at all. It's plain bad manners and poor organisation to be late for an appointment, kids or no kids. My mother would have wiped the floor with me for being late!!

Swansong Mon 16-Jan-12 19:00:37

Enjoy them put all food in Hostess Trolley- if you have too !!but the very fact they love coming to you speaks volumes.
They are not really being rude are they? they just feel really comfortable with you WHAT can be better than that

absentgrana Tue 17-Jan-12 09:26:36

My guests weren't late – I was a day late with Christmas dinner. We had a house guest plus local friends visiting for nibbles and drinks on Christmas Day. Nibbles and drinks lasted well into the late afternoon and we were all so full that no one felt like roast goose and Christmas pudding in the evening. We had the whole shooting match on Boxing Day instead and my house guest reckons I might be starting a new tradition.

supernana Tue 17-Jan-12 16:09:35

absent smile

glammanana Tue 17-Jan-12 16:19:23

absent you really are the hostess with the mostest.grin