Christmas day lunch

absent you really are the hostess with the mostest.

absent

My guests weren't late – I was a day late with Christmas dinner. We had a house guest plus local friends visiting for nibbles and drinks on Christmas Day. Nibbles and drinks lasted well into the late afternoon and we were all so full that no one felt like roast goose and Christmas pudding in the evening. We had the whole shooting match on Boxing Day instead and my house guest reckons I might be starting a new tradition.

Enjoy them put all food in Hostess Trolley- if you have too !!but the very fact they love coming to you speaks volumes.
They are not really being rude are they? they just feel really comfortable with you WHAT can be better than that

YANBU at all. It's plain bad manners and poor organisation to be late for an appointment, kids or no kids. My mother would have wiped the floor with me for being late!!

Poppa...love it!

I seem to be in memory-mode at the mo'. When our first granddaughter was baptised, the priest was as drunk as a skunk. He kept repeating himself...we had the same address thrice over. He couldn't remember whether the babe was a boy or girl...and closed his eyes so often, for so long, that I thought he had either gone into a trance, or passed away whilst still managing to remain upright.

baggy thanks for the explanation.

My sister is a self absorbed laggard too. The sad thing is that she fails to acknowledge it. I remember when her twins were being christened... she was almost an hour late, to the point that the poor priest came up to me and asked if we could all move out of the church so the next family could do their thing. Of course I said yes, explained to the assembled throng that we'd be swapping spots with the next family, and reminding them that as I was adopted I shared no DNA with my sister! As we all moved outside who should arrive but my sister, the twins and sheepish hubby. Sister asked me what was happening and was quite angry that I'd made this arrangement with the priest. Her point was that it took time to organise everyone. My point was that if she'd started getting ready an hour earlier they would have easily been on time. I told her that the christening had nothing to do with Judeo-Christian ritual and was more about her posing and wanting to be seen doing the socially acceptable thing. She was more concerned about having the right bloody candles and a new frock than showing respect for the priest. It went straight over head that her atheist brother had more respect for the church and the priest than she did. Selfish cow. The priest was a cool guy... when I explained at the rehearsal that I was an atheist he said as I'd been christened and confirmed C of E I was safe, so I'd be a "BigBangFather" rather than GodFather to my nephew!

Just some silly twerp posting silly links on a whole string of AIBU threads and being told to b****r off. He/she/it was being unreasonable.

As usual, I appear to have missed something of note! My bucks-fizzed, addled-faddled mind is in go-slow-mode.

Well spotted bagitha

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Sounds as if you'll have a lovely time, bellesnan, with your well-organised family team work . The OP's problem is apparently that her daughter does not reciprocate the goodwill her mother is showing by providing the meal and doing all the work because she doesn't realise the difficulties her 'laid back' (alias rude) attitude causes her mother. Not much goodwill from the upsetters of other people's kind and generous plans methinks. I don't think it's fair for one side to extend all the goodwill and the other side just to take advantage ever, never mind just on certain days of the year. If it's rude to turn up late for a meal that someone else is cooking for you on 25 June (and it is) then it's rude on 25 December as well.

Sounds like your plans for the family will be enjoyed by everyone Bellesnan

Whats happened to goodwill to all men - think as usual its gone out of the window for Christmas. Our daughter decided on Boxing Day last year that a turkey for them was just plain hard work so invited herself to us this year. That's ok because they are coming on Christmas Eve and husband and s-i-l are in the kitchen as head chef and sous chef - but no turkey just a lovely rib of beef and the most wonderful apple strudel as cooked by my husband. The tinies will have their food when they want it, probably sausages or fishfingers or anything else that keeps them happy for JUST ONE DAY. Surely on the one day of the year which should be a family day - anything goes. My 91 year old m-i-l who will be on her own for the first time is absolutely excited at the prospect of being with her 3 year old and 1 year old g-grandkids after spending last Christmas with her husband who has dementia and is now in care. I just wish I could have my son and his family with us - even a Christmas card from him would be wonderful!

bagitha is right. Theirs will keep warm [if slightly congealed in the oven]. Have your meal, clear your dishes, put your feet up, G&T in hand, and tell the latecomers that you were dead beat [thanks to days of preparation etc] and you felt sure that they would understand blah blah!

Like it, elegran! . With people who are consistently rude late I would stop waiting for them. We would eat when the meal's ready and leave theirs in the oven. I wonder how long it would take to get the message across?

When I make scrambled egg, people have to be seated at the table before the pan goes on the stove. Scrambled egg waits for no man; man waits for scrambled egg. Soufflés ditto.

There's an idea, gourmet — invite them for soufflé one day, eat yours while it's lovely and serve theirs cool and flat. We did say one o'clock for the meal, darling!

It sounds as though either a) they are completely disorganised (when they are getting one child off to school on time and simultaneously coping with a stroppy younger one they will find out the virtues of routine!) or b) they are just not aware of the realities of producing a nice meal within a reasonable time slot. As DD does not cook, the second possibility seems more likely - "Mum makes the food, we eat it, what's the problem?".

If you are getting really fed up with it, you could try a little demonstration (maybe not for Christmas though) Instead of choosing things that are not time-critical, and then taking a lot of effort to stretch their edibility even further, why not make something that absolutely has to be eaten when it comes out of the oven.

Then invite them over, saying "I have found this gorgeous recipe for ..... . but it spoils fast once it is made.....have to eat it at once...." Set a time (with a margin for them being slightly late. If they are later than that - oh dear - what a pity - it would have been so tasty - things dry out so fast - never mind, would you like some tinned soup and bread and cheese?

Might work!

I'm in full agreement with baggy on this subject, it's just plain rudeness to be late when you've been invited somewhere and it drives me mad to have to wait for people.

Well, JessM
If you are going to Luton, there will be CAMPARI.............