Are we elderly or middleaged.

I think this sounds like an advert

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This really has become interesting. I play Bridge with a 90 year old. She had her eldest son at the age of 17, so he is nearer to her in age than I am. Yet to him she is an old lady, even elderly, and for me she is dear friend, an astute Bridge player and I don't regard her as elderly at all. I forget that she is actually 90.
There is a gap between generations which, as the young became middleaged, forces the middleaged to become sooner or later elderly.

I may not see myself as old (was shocked to realise that I will be 63 in January!!) but I certainly feel it today! What do I blame that on? The fact that I have had a lazy couple of days, and eaten too much chocolate. I definitely feel younger and more physically able if I keep going and eat healthily. Will I ever learn?!!
My grandmother was always old. I don't remember her being anything else. She was also always cross and grumpy and not a nice loving woman at all. Isn't that sad? She must have been a very unhappy woman.

On Christmas Day, GD described someone on TV of about 25 as 'old'! She thinks of us (in our 60's) as ancient and past it, while I think of my parents (late 80's) as probably almost elderly as they do need a bit of support now. Though it has been a hard job to get my dad at 87, and after a heart attack, to give up driving from Devon to Kent and allow us to take him. Inside I'm still about 27, but my knees seem to have aged quicker than my mind!

Nsube, I was just working my way down the posts meaning to say that I have always worked on the assumption that middle-age is 5 years older than one's own age (therefore currently 65 for me), but you got in first! Think I'll go for your definition of old as age + 10 years, but it might be pushing it to get to 95 and say that middle age was 105...

It really annoys me when newspaper reporters insist on calling anyone over 60 "pensioner". It's never been true for men, it's not now true for women, and what does it do except patronise people? Why can't we continue to be described as women or men for the rest of our lives?

Interesting grannyactivist - it is a new city here in Mk and far fewer older people than where you live (I have the stats upstairs but 2 flights up and can't be bothered just now) But probably the lowest in the country. We do have a big U3A though, (perhaps because there is not much else around), which i have just joined and agreed to chair. Since I am now 60 I am coming to terms with the fact that the over 60s are in fact my peer group! Gransnet has helped with this interesting process.

Old, or middle aged is ten years older than what you are now. And that's on good authority.

I regard myself as middle aged, If you are able bodied and fit, I think the decades have moved.iwill be 65 in a few months and
I don't know anyone of my age who could be described as elderly. But agree with absenta it,s life by any other name and boundaries are there to push.

Given that "young" (or even immature) has been extended, in some cases, well into the thirties or even forties – think of all those boyish types playing computer games, living with mum and dad and "having commitment issues" – I think elderly definitely needs to be pushed a decade or two further forward. But what the hell? I don't care how I am catalogued or typecast – I intend to go on breaking moulds forever.

Thanks everyone for your positive input. I discussed with with my daughter after I put on this thread - she reminded me that DIL's mother does nothing for herself and expects to be driven everywhere. My DIL is not used to such an independent woman as I am, in fact I come from a long line of strong independent women.[I've begged my son to ensure his two girls become independent too]. I've had to be as my ex left me with two small children in 1984. You'd think my son would appreciate that despite everything ,I've paid off my mortgage, got the children through colleges and universities, forced into retirement at 60 anbd promptly went out and got another job within 2 months.

Having just returned from a visit to the hairdresser where I spent three quarters of an hour gazing at my reflection in a mirror, I have come to the conclusion that although at 68 I may be middle aged, my neck is definitely elderly!

I'm 66 next month and certainly don't consider myself elderly - just middleaged. I work full time and commute into London. Very busy and responsible job. I have four grandchildren and can out dance both my daughters! I love modern music and download the latest tracks and tell my daughters what is worth listening to. I am more techie then they are and they phone me to solve any problems with their computers, phones, TVs etc. I'm on Facebook and Twitter and am amazed that they aren't!!

What an interesting thread.
I live in a place where 43% of the population are over the age of 65 and there are many activities for people to get stuck into following retirement. I am involved in a number of community initiatives and they are almost invariably staffed/resourced by retired people (mostly people in their 70s) and I think of very few of them as 'elderly', but nor are they 'middle-aged'.
My in-laws are both in their mid-70s, but I never think of them as elderly; I suppose this is something to do with them still having good health and a 'young' approach to life.

Cyril glassortwo's suggestion is what I would do too, or even get the taxi to drop you off just around the corner and then you can walk the rest of the way. Your SIL sounds controlling, you might need to speak to your daughter so she can have a word with him!

I have just asked my 48-year old daughter if she would describe me as 'my elderly mother' and she said not, but her 20-year old daughter would describe me as 'my elderly grandmother'. Thank goodness my great GDs are too young to call me anything but Nanny Noo!

Thank you all for listening. Glassortwo, at least I have let out some of my frustration and calmed down. Perhaps if he had not had a glass or three he would not have been so pushy and then of course I want to push back. Why don't I learn? Thank you for your so sensible hint for evasive action.

Annabel, your grandma sounds just lovely, just the grandma I would have liked to become. My grandma was short and round, always laughing when she was not in a ferocious temper - in other words, just the grandma I have turned into

I don't really care what people call me, but I know I am much fitter at 71 than I was in my 40's and 50's, when I was eating/drinking too much and taking no exercise. My daughters just accept that I am a bit eccentric because I choose to travel alone all over the world in order to snorkel on coral, and spend hours climbing steep Alpine paths. They didn't bat an eyelid when I went white-water rafting, or roller skating and they expect me to learn to ski now I live in a ski resort. My motto is that I will be very secure when I am dead, and now I want adventure.
My ex-husband was born elderly and bored me to death, which is why he is ex.
I don't make any effort to look young, though - I gave up make-up, contact lenses, hair dye, high heels, push-up bras, etc, when I retired to a remote region of France. However, I am told that my permanent slight tan (just through walking, I never lie in direct sunlight) and thick, wavy white hair look quite good, and I have now lost just over two stones through my walking, but as I never socialise it doesn't matter anyway.
My only concern is to keep healthy so I can carry on enjoying my wonderful life and I would like to see my great-grand-daughters grow up.

I can relate to your comments Charlotta. I mentioned to my Mum a while back that all of my parents' friends seemed so old when I was a kid, but in reality they were probably in their early 40s so actually quite young.

As for technology, I do wonder at my 89 year old Mum. As young 20something WAAAF during the war she taught RAAF navigators how to use RADAR, which at the time was very much a technical process. Now every time she buggers up the radio she gets me to tune in her favourite stations!

cyril it true that we all know our limitations but they are only trying to take care of you and wanted to see you home safe, you maybe could have taken the offer of a taxi then got him to drop you at home then had a stroll around the block.

I am probably guilty of the same thing with my FIL he is 78 and as fit as a fiddle and walks for miles, but when he visits us I do insist on getting him home then I can relax knowing that he is home and safe. How you make you SIL see how independent you are I dont know the answer to that sorry.

Oh yes Annobel lets start a campaign to ban OAP,I'm all for that.

Oh and I meant to say, can we try to get rid of the abbreviation OAP? I hate being called that! Don't you?

My granny wore no stockings in summer, was a mass of freckles, did the garden and lovely embroidery, painted everything in sight (including the bath). Not sure I ever saw her in a pinny. She had fine, curly white hair which I loved to comb. But I always saw her as old - now I can see her in the mirror!

I am reading this thread with great interest and feel sure that one or more of you will give me the words I need to tell my SIL that I am quite capable of walking home. Yes I know it will take me an hour and it is dark out there but I refuse to allow myself to be intimidated into not living my life by the fear of what might be out there.

As so many others on here I have done a great variety of things since I retired at 65, joined a gym and a variety of craft groups, learned to swim, learned to use a computer among other skills and volunteered for a number of charity walks and conservation holidays - I can most heartily recommend them - raising eyebrows along the way - but I want to live. Travelling around the country on my free bus pass also gives them the heebee jeebees so I now tell them after I have done it.

The problem with SIL is that he physically blocked the doorway and told me that he would not allow me to pass. I could only leave if he paid for a taxi. It frustrates me and I know I should be grateful that he cares, but I'm not. A brisk walk was what I felt I needed at the end of so much feasting. I may be one of the older people, but I don't feel old and firmly believe that while I can I will as there will be an awfully long time when I can't. How do I explain this to him when he is not of a mind to listen?