To want to shop my stepdaughter?

Hi Petallus - absolutely and completely right. If you feel you can do it the open and honest way that has got to be best - only you can gauge damage if you do, and damage if you don't.

Yes nanban I was thinking more of how I would go about it if I was going to inform. I think if it was a family member who was involved I'd warn them first of my intentions and then if this brought no change I would go ahead and inform openly. Since the issue here is partly one of honesty, I do feel I would rather be upfront about my intentions. I would feel dishonest if I informed secretly and then kept shtumm.

But that's just my personal standard for myself.

There are millions of people out there struggling to get honestly through life without cheating, why should anyone feel guilty/responsible/to blame for those who cheat at their expense.

I wonder if it would be easier to inform on strangers or family members who one isn't all that fond of anyway.

The two particular cases mentioned in this thread have both involved step-relatives. Of course people should not cheat the benefits system but let's imagine someone goes ahead and reports, say, their husband's daughter who has a couple of children. The sh*t will then hit the fan. Benefits will be stopped whilst an investigation takes place, so shifting the burden of providing for the children on to other family members, maybe the grandfather. The offending family may be made homeless and the parent could possibly end up in prison with dire consequences for the children. Throughout there will be suspicion and accusation about who the informer was.

The informer, as a family member, would be in the middle of all this chaos and distress. How on earth would they manage to sit there, knowing they were responsible and letting other people potentially take the blame?

Beats me!

PS: report anonymously - absolutely, every time.

My friend worked in a primary school where a huge percentage of the little children spoke openly about 'flipping' - they lived with mother - in council house on support [maybe smoked, maybe took drugs, maybe worked] and father too on the grounds he too needed space for the children when he had access. Father then rents out his council house to most likely someone else scamming and actually, although for official use declared separated, lived with mother and children. Some even had charities donating/decorating the houses for the sake of the children. And when those children grow up that will be their lifestyle because that's what they've been taught.

If I was going to shop a family member I would at least expect myself to have the decency to own up to having done it!

Hi

Well, if you don't do it, maybe someone else will, if she upsets them, I knew someone who did similar and he upset his friend and they shopped him, it is wrong for her to be claiming and the longer it goes on the harder it will be to stop, I know this sounds harsh,but, if it were me, yes, I would do it. You don't have to give your name or any details. good luck

Let's wake up and smell the coffee folks. Benefits scammers have a whole coterie of friends, in exactly the same position who swap benefits scams, and often openly brag about what they are getting. A young relative of mine buys Laboutins on her many benefits! They should all be shopped, the system scrapped and a fairer one put in its place.

........but I've yet to shop her because then the burden will fall on her father who I love dearly. Problem alert - and a dilemma which, from this thread, I guess many of us are encountering.

Absolutely no-one should cheat - sadly I'm sure we've all helped ourselves to the odd thing from the office. It's all the same thing but just some cheating hurts more than others.

Bankers and Barclays at one end of the scale; spongers and scroungers at the other!
What bothers me is that if you withdraw or reduce benefits from the latter, it's their children who will suffer the most. Not that these people care a jot about the kids.

I saw a Jeremy Kyle programme the other day, in which a feckless dad was failing to pay for the child he had fathered, was spending £50 a week on cannabis, and claiming benefits. As JK pointed out, we the taxpayers are paying for his child, his lifestyle, his accommodation and his cannabis. I would be happy for such deadlegs to have their benefits reduced or withdrawn, then the sum total saved should be deducted from the tax we have to pay, or we could opt to choose a charity to pay that amount into. If he wants his benefits back, he could go out and do some work, paid or not - I don't care. I'm just fed up now of spongers.

I can't stand Jeremy Kyle, but I understand why he gets so riled about this issue.

Nanban I agree. It makes me so to even think about the ways and means a certain section of our society is prepared to stoop in order to "fleece" the system of the honest to goodness input of the rest of us. If I could spit tacks...they would be titanic tins-full!

My teeth are done with grinding - the whole attitude of referring to The State as some anonymous pot to be used and abused is what is wrong with the world. The State is not anonymous it is me working hard, trying to deal honestly, paying my bills, paying taxes and making do. Stealing and cheating are just that and there is never any excuse at all.

whatis That is what we are there for ... to be sponged off, otherwise why are we taking up valuable space

harrigran, yes! I wasn't talking about my own children. They don't sponge off of anyone! (only off of us)

I just mean, if I was in that situation, I would have to put my family first.

Elegran Like you, I'm sick to death of hearing about the lengths some "Spongers" are prepared to sink. I know of a man [not local] who fell through a sky-light whilst committing burglary and severely damaged his legs. He was awarded compensation. He cannot now work, was provided with a newly refurbished house for his large family - who run two cars...and reap all manner of benefits available - [I would think without the slightest stirring of conscience.]

The state is not a bottom-less mine of goodies, it is a kitty of your taxes and mine, to be spent for the public good, and distributed to those who need it.

There is no such thing as public money, only money which the public has provided. If you lheard that someone had cheated a charity of thousands you would be horrified. Cheating the tax-payer is just the same.

If the system is unfair, it needs to be changed for everyone who is suffering because of it, not bypassed by those who have no compunction about getting more than the others.

Otherwise it becomes just survival of the fittest, and the devil take the hindermost.

In that case one has to hope that one's children have inherited the right from wrong gene. Mine had to understand that if they did wrong they would be in deep doo-doo.

I certainly would never risk causing trouble in my own family, just to save the state a few quid.

How can not telling sound more moralistic and worthy than telling on someone who is breaking every moral code out of greed and laziness. There are so many lovely, honest, hard working people struggling to make ends meet and should they be lucky enough to earn enough to pay tax - they are then supporting benefit cheats.

It's not a question of worrying about being identified as the grass. I just wouldn't want to do it, anonymous or not.

Nanban my thoughts exactly.