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son's birthday

(28 Posts)
ninathenana Sat 11-Feb-12 16:48:08

DS is 21 today. He has a card from his dad and I, one from his sister and one from my friend.

Feel sorry for him that neither his aunt, uncle or Godmother, remembered his birthday let alone that it's his 21st.


whatisamashedupphrase Sat 11-Feb-12 16:54:26

No, you're not. sad

Give him a hug from us.

greenmossgiel Sat 11-Feb-12 16:54:28

No you're not being unreasonable. Saying that when it was my own son's 21st, he hardly got any cards either - I don't think boys bother the same. But, like you, I would've wanted him to have had some recognition for his special birthday from close relatives. They're bound to have known when it was coming up. I hope he still has a good birthday though - wish him one from me, anyway! winesmile

kittylester Sat 11-Feb-12 16:57:14

That is horrid but probably worse for you than for him. Wish him a happy birthday from all of us. wine

Carol Sat 11-Feb-12 17:00:49

Congratulations to your son on his 21st! When my son was 11 I put a flea in a couple of people's ear because they forgot his birthday card. They never did after that - he's 32 now x

ninathenana Sat 11-Feb-12 17:05:20

thanks grans, will pass your good wishes on smile

Ariadne Sat 11-Feb-12 17:13:37

No you are not! You're his mum and this is the sort of thing we get cross about. X

Seventimesfive Sat 11-Feb-12 17:57:33

You have every right to be cross! Hope he has a good birthday anyway. wine

Sbagran Sat 11-Feb-12 19:27:33

nina I sympathise - our family is most peculiar where cards etc are concerned and it makes me so mad as cards cost virtually nothing nowadays and can mean so much.
I had my 'Big 60' last year and didn't receive a card from either of my brothers let alone a pressy of any kind. Mind you, I haven't had a card from either of them for several years but I thought the 'big 60' might have meant something?
The elder one was probably too drunk to even know the date as sadly he has an alcohol problem but the younger one obviously knew as he sent a big '60' badge to my daughter to give to me at the party! Just a card would have been nice!
I think the prize must go to my elder brother though - several Christmases ago he sent a (general, not even a special) card to our elderly mother and enclosed a cheque for £50 and a note explaining that this was to cover Christmas, her birthday and Mothering Sunday! She never even had a card from him when those dates came around. Sadly, Mum died over two years ago but she never forgot that Christmas.
I have the dates of all our family birthdays including even my cousin's son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren whom I have never met, and everyone, including both brothers gets a card for birthdays and Christmas. We decided years ago not to 'do presents' because of the cost to us all but just a card to show remembrance surely should be possible?
I sympathise nina and hope your son has a great day!

Carol Sat 11-Feb-12 20:24:38

Since I became a mum, I have said over the years that I couldn't care less if I got a present, but even a home made card would suit me just fine as a way of showing people have thought about me on my birthday. I love getting those cards made by grandchildren which are full of colourful scribble with great big kisses all over them. I treasure every one.

tanith Sat 11-Feb-12 20:32:45

I do send cards but I do sometimes not realise its someones special birthday, I missed my sisters 75th birthday last year and didn't realise it was my brothers 30th wedding anni till he let it slip months later... so I can see how its easily done if you aren't in that close contact and aren't 'reminded' .
A pity for your son though , give him an extra big hug... incidentally my brothers and sisters don't even remeber when my kids birthdays are since they became adults.. so they don't expect to be remembered .

glassortwo Sat 11-Feb-12 20:38:36

I think its is really disgraceful to miss a birthday let alone a special birthday. Happy 21st to nina's son from all of us at GN.

Changing the subject slightly......but have any of you tried Card factory for cards (dont know if it they just trade in the North East) but their prices are amazing, you can get some lovely cards with a nice verse for as little as 89p, and can come out with a handful of cards for one anywhere else, if you have one give it a try.

tanith Sat 11-Feb-12 20:46:26

glassortwo I love the Card Factory for cards... I usually buy a pile at a time the only thing I hate are the queues..grin

greenmossgiel Sat 11-Feb-12 22:03:46

I always use Card Factory. They're all over the country, I think. Often you can buy 5 for just a pound - which is great if it's just for an 'ordinary' birthday! smile

glassortwo Sat 11-Feb-12 22:18:12

I love a bargain grin.

Annika Sat 11-Feb-12 22:56:19

As I mum it hurts when we think our sons/ daughters have been forgotten , after all how hard is it to get a card, the Card Factory sell 5 for £1 and some times you can get 7 for £1 for goodness sake !!!
Give him a hug from all of us old fools on Gransnet all the lovely ladies on Gransnet grin

grannyactivist Sat 11-Feb-12 23:21:59

nina I'm from a big family and it would be difficult to remember every special day; BUT if there's a big birthday/celebration coming up we all chivvy one another to make an effort. I phone around with reminders when my children/husband have special birthdays coming up. When I saw your post I remembered one of my own nieces will be 21 very soon.
I hope your son wasn't too upset and that he had a special day.

glammanana Sun 12-Feb-12 00:11:03

nina how miserable of these people to not send cards to your DS on his special day,please tell him we all send our best congradulations to him on his 21st (((hugs))).I always make sure I have all the cards for the family in a drawer by the end of January and mark the dates on the RHS of the envelopes,even when my DSs where going away with their regiments I always that their cards where packed in their boxes so they could pin them up somewhere when the day arrived.

Learnergran Sun 12-Feb-12 00:14:49

Nina, I'm from a tiny family and the same has happened to all my children. I know just how you feel. It is extraordinarily hurtful, the more so because the hurt is on their behalf. I hope your son had a terrific birthday with the people who really care about him smile wine

shysal Sun 12-Feb-12 08:26:46

When I was working I used to be the one who kept track of birthdays and circulated a card to be signed by all each time . Guess who was the one whose birthday usually went unrecognised - me of course!
There is no excuse for not knowing dates. I simply transfer the information to my new diary each year, putting the age in brackets - simples!
I hope your son had a good day ninathenana As others have said, men don't seem to bother. I expect he celebrated his 18th, so perhaps some people think it unnecessary to mark the 21st as well. cupcake

susiecb Sun 12-Feb-12 10:43:59

Oh that is a sad story but I hope he has lots of good friends and he has you Nina. happy birthday from me - us February babes are the bestsmile

Stansgran Sun 12-Feb-12 13:21:09

I can't remember when I last had a card from my elder daughter-I put the last one on the mantelpiece every year. She has married someone who thinks it is commercial blackmail..... What it is really is that they can't be bothered to buy cards stamps and go to the post. I always give the GC colouring xmas cards and make them make cards when they are with me. She admits that she likes receiving cards and presents so I carry on in the hope that it will percolate her very busy (?selfish) head. I've given up with her husband-just email him an Amazon voucher.And I will continue with the GCs in the vain hope that they will realise giving is better than receiving

Greatnan Sun 12-Feb-12 13:38:03

Does your son care? All my grandsons have told me not to bother with cards as they only get thrown in the bin.

I suppose it depends how close you are to your nephews, cousins, etc.
I tend to agree that £3 for a bit of card is a rip-off. I send friends an e-card which costs nothing but tells them I am thinking of them.

chocolatepudding Sun 12-Feb-12 16:33:37

I am part of a tiny family and birthdays are important. I write all relatives' and friends' birthdays in my diary and send cards in good time.. DH has always insisted gifts are delivered personally to his Mum and brother if need be on the day itself

Sadly this is not reciprocated by his brother. About 20 years ago he forgot my birthday, so busy, and this became the normal practice for several years. He would then get a present for me and leave it at Mum's house. Then he forgot DD birthday 10 days after my birthday. That's the only niece/nephew he had!

But Mum's birthday was 10 days after my DDs birthday. He was never, ever late with her card and present. But of course Mum had a cheque book and she wrote three cheques for £1000 every year.

AIBU? Or just telling the truth.

harrigran Sun 12-Feb-12 18:15:51

Sad nina but so many people now shun the written card. My family are very good at remembering but I do know people who don't believe in sending them. For years I sent cards and gifts to friends and they never acknowledged them so have decided to stop, I don't know if they are still at the same address.
YANBU smile