parents night and school reports..grandchildr en

When my first child started school, she wouldn`t speak at all, the teacher said that they just couldn`t get a peep out of her, although she was as chatty as usual at home. They didn`t think she was learning, because she wasn`t speaking, then one day, after nearly a full school year, she picked up a reading book in school and started to read out loud! Never looked back after that!

Sewsilver

Carol, I hope you and your grandson have a lovely time together tomorrow.

Thank you folks - I feel so lucky. I texted grandson and he replied immediately - first time, never been allowed to answer before. Obviously now allowed to use his mobile phone openly, instead of having to hide in the bathroom to text his dad, like he did at Christmas. My son phoned him this morning and he answered - his phone always switched off in the past (son had bought it for him so they could keep in touch last year).

I know how Berliners felt when their wall came down - it's like being liberated!

Great news for you Carol no need to tell you to enjoy lol

Nanachuckles thankyou for your kind words.... we have informed the school that if they see any problems or things they are not happy with...then to let us know straight..away....they did apologise for not informing DD and we will certainly bring it up again at some stage..as it seems..there were one or two others with similar problem! thank you all..

Nanachuckles - neatly put. Informal friendly contact can be worth so much more than the official communications which can be stilted and inclined to the 'tick-box' approach. On the other hand, although it's far from perfect, I think the system north of the border seems less rigid and less target-based. I feel for the grans here who clearly are very concerned with so many problems which don't really exist up here.

Hi bikergran, I am a teacher up here in Scotland and i agree with bagitha and a few other comments. There seems to be a lack of communication between the school and your daughter. Shame on them for that. If any child in my class varied in either their academic or social behaviour I would be looking for the parent at the school gate for a quiet "unofficial" word or writing in the homework diary about my concerns and not leaving it till parents/report night. This seems very unprofessional to me. As for 'ability grouping'? Well this does help me a lot in class to enable me to monitor children's progress and also to highlight problems quicker. However at 5 years old I would not place too much concern on which group he is in just yet. These groups are more for ease of teaching and not labelling children. Please do not worry but DO feel free to(with your daughters permission) talk with the teacher as any teacher who is worth their salt would not want you to be worrying like this. I am well known in school by parents for my approachability and I know that not all teachers are like this but if they do not know you are upset, then they cannot do anything about it.

DS1 did not respond well to school and had disastrous O-level results, although he was always an enthusiastic reader. But whatever he has done since he has done brilliantly, getting top marks in exams whether professional or academic - in other words, what he really wanted to succeed in. Younger son, who was always more academic and got a very good degree and MBA, used to say, magnanimously, that he thought big bro was the brighter of the two.

Great news Carol

Oh yes carbon or how un-bored even.
We have a bright nephew who seems to be finding the whole of his secondary education boring. What a waste.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...I think people in the future will look back on the way we treat our children in the same way we look at how children were made to go up chimney's and work in factories. Children aged five should be playing not "working"; never mind being kept in at play time and given homework to do after a tiring day at school. I think its appalling. However I fear that some of this is encouraged by ambitious parents.
Schools should be judged by how happy the children are.

Great news Carol, I hope it goes on to get much better from here.
I do think sometimes people are a bit hard on children learning to read English. As I think I have said before my half-Spanish grandson finds learning to read in Spanish easy because it is easier, without the umpty-tiddle different spelling / phoneme combinations that bedevil the English language. I was reading the other day that children learning English rely far more on activity in the visual patterns part of the brain than children learning languages with a closer spelling / sound correspondence.

Carol I am SO pleased for you, your son and your grandson x

The phones are ringing off their cradles today Annobel. The whole family is so excited about this sudden change in what has been a harrowing situation for almost a year. My son now feels able to exert some pressure, and has told ex-DIL 'my mother will pick grandson up at 1 pm on Sunday, and will not be jumping through hoops to get him back dead on 4 pm if the film runs over or they are enjoying a meal together and would have rushed back before.' I will let her know, of course, if we are delayed, but no more driving through McDonalds rather than going in there or Pizza Hut for a treat, for fear of being even one minute late. Happy days again.

What a great result Carol for you, your son and your grandson.

My two boys went to a very prestigious school - imagine the pre-A level meeting when we got from the chemistry master - I can't assess T's progress because I haven't seen him in class for months!!!!!!!!! We had not the least flicker beforehand. And how I hated those parents who pop from one teacher to the next just to accept the glorious A student praise! Huh

Wonderful news, Carol
When I was head of the schools' remedial service in the Wirral, I was frequently button-holed at social events by mothers (usually) wanting to tell me which book their child was reading and if I thought it was suitable.
There is a fine line between being an interested parent and being a pushy parent.
Children start school at seven in some Scandinavian countries but their reading skills are better in a year than English children of a comparable age.
Many four and five years olds are not capable of sitting at a table for several hour a day and keeping quiet - they should be running around and exploring the world around them.
I would try to find a less rigid school where this little boy will be appreciated.

Hi Bez...as for friends out of school..no..he doesnt really have many..he has cousins (6 months younger than him)(girls) whom he may see perhaps once eevry 3 weeks..he also has a half sister who is jjust over 2yrs whom he sees when he goe to his dads..but the location where he lives is too busy for him to play out..and he doesnt seem to have reached the stage where they are invited to each others houses..(think people are still very wary unless they really know the other person well) so no he doesnt really have little mates out of school...my DD newish partner does have 3 boys who come up everu 2 weeks for a weekend and he loves it when they arrive.... we make sure he always has at least one night a week football/swimming etc. as some one said...children don't play out the same anymore, people are frightened of letting them out.
I have spoken to another parent whome had a shock at parents night and was told that they think that..the mum should make an appointment with CAM (thinks it is some kind of doctor/therapist etc) her daughter is! pretty active and loves attention..but I wouldnt say it warrants anything like that!
GS has worked hard and got a sticker today!!! aso acheived 5 meters swimming without armbands after 5 lessons so got his certificate and badge and ws quite chuffed...!!
Yes he writes/draws/copies words, loves doing his spellings all quite normal...like I say I think sometimes the teachers froget that they can have a child/children in their class that can be just gone 5 but then have others that are 6..big difference almost 12 months!
we are quite happy....ws just a bit taken aback by the comments from the teachers...!

Carol

carol

bez, I enjoyed reading your post. Such good sense! I do wish more people would stop and think a bit more in such ways.

One way I found of putting a stop to the competitive reading comparisons was to simply never know what "reading book" my kids were on. I saw that they were reading (usually not school books as it happens); I saw that their reading (drawing, writing, numeracy, whatever) was progressing. If anyone asked what level of anything they were on I answered truthfully: "No idea! but she seems to be doing allright."

One happy little boy and his dad AND a very happy Carol.
Lovely.

Smiling for you, carol! Great news!

My son went into school this afternoon, having asked for a meeting with form tutor and head. He had put his foot down, as ex-DIL had been telling him untruths, such as - 'your son needs to see a psychologist because his head is all over the place and it's all your fault, you .... bleep bleep!'

What the problem really was, was grandson not doing homework, disappearing off from lessons, pretending he had completed homework by stapling homework sheets together and handing them in - when teacher checked, they were blank. Mother was supposed to be checking he was doing and completing homework, as agreed with solicitor, because she would not let my son have access to him - he was the one who always ensured work was done.

The meeting went really well, my son suggested a book for grandson to carry round each lesson so teachers could note whether he had done his work, mother to sign each night he has homework, and father to see the book each week, then a meeting again in a fortnight, this time to include grandson, so he can see everyone is in the loop.

My son asked about the psychologist - no such plans at all - they did ask him if the educational psychologist could cast her eye over grandson's reports in case she has anything constructive to add, when she next calls in the school - she visits fortnightly. Ex-DIL didn't say a word!

This meeting gave my son access to his son this afternoon - all went well. Grandson asked to see his dad, mum couldn't stop him today, and he is seeing him on Monday, Tuesday (his birthday) and Wednesday, when he will take him out clothes shopping, without mother being present. Result!! I am taking him to the cinema on Sunday and will see him on his birthday.

One happy little boy and his dad, and the school now realise that my son is not 'father unknown' which ex-DIL had written personally on their record.

I've written before about a few chickens coming home to roost - it's a hen-house full today! Thank goodness!

Sometimes small children love the company of others the same age and see school as a place for socialising more than learning. Does he have lots of friends his age out of school too?
He is very young still at 5 to be labelled anything - does he like writing and drawing type things when he is at home and if so are his efforts co-ordinated? If his fine motor control is not fully developed he may find it frustrating if the results he produces are not as good he would like or his peer group. Did the school give any idea as to whether or not they felt he had a specific problem with anything?
My youngest GS has a birthday in Sept and the year he was 5 he was showing no interest about school or writing etc. As they live in USA my DS and Dil were able, with no problem, to say they felt he would be better waiting a year to go to formal schooling - he remained at his pre school group with more hours added and when he started at almost 6 he was ready and willing and is making great progress. We knew he was clever enough as he has always shown great powers of logical thinking and relating one thing he knows to a completely different problem for a solution.
I often thought that in UK we are too hung up on what children can or can't do at a certain age - this is not helped either by the school-gate chat that goes on at some schools with people bragging about the reading book their child is on etc- or as we had a case of a dinner lady who heard a few children read one lunchtime afterwards telling a mother her child was behind so and so!!
Children mature in different ways and as long as progress is being made what more can you ask for.