Moonbeauty, I do hope you get some help - and quickly. As Nanban says, the support of any available family members would be a great help to you. You said your Dad is awaiting a heart bypass op and sometimes circulation problems can lead to forgetfulness, etc. It can be so difficult persuading older people to accept help - they usually have a dread of "being put away".
Your GP will help out, in our area there is a special community nursing team to deal with this type of problem, and should be in your area; they should be able to visit you and your Dad at home if you can get time off work.
How worrying for you all. Do keep us updated of your progress (or lack of it).
Estranged Son and Future Granddaughter
To think that London, or anywhere else for that matter, does not belong to any one demographic