Gransnet forums


Badly behaved kids

(136 Posts)
dorsetpennt Sat 17-Mar-12 18:53:01

When I was young, before children , I remarked to a friend about how well behaved her childen were. She said she would always love her kids but wanted other people to like them too. That comment stuck in my mind when I had my own and I also passed this onto to my son & DIL . The reason for this remark is that I have seen a lot of really badly behaved children. My neighbour's 2 year old son screamed for 3 hours today - out of temper according to his mother. But they don't believe he is old enough for any form of discipline. My daughter has just telephoned and said that she and a friend were sitting in Costa for a much needed coffee. Only to have it completely ruined by 3 children screaming, rolling around on the floor running around etc whilst their mothers blissfully drank their coffee. We have both been out with my 3 year old GD to resturants and cafes and she has behaved well. Taught by her parents to behave. Why is it some people don't teach their children manners, good behaviour etc. Teach them when they are young and they will grow up to be nice adults. A primary school teacher friend of my daughter told us that some children arrive without any idea on how to behave [incidentally a lot arrive barely toilet trained and sporting a dummy!!!]. So they have to be taught that before any school work can be implemented - also means the other children are ahead of them as they are being taught as normal.

Carol Sat 17-Mar-12 19:09:31

I remember taking my four very young children out for Sunday lunch with their dad and his parents, the children were 7, 3 and 18 month old twins. As people passed to leave the restaurant, several bent over to compliment us on how well behaved our children were. I was really proud. When the waiter came to clear some plates for the pudding course, my 18 month old handed him all the cardboard coasters he had been chewing - they had his teeth marks all the way round them! At least he had stayed at the table for us!

dorsetpennt Sat 17-Mar-12 20:33:10

Carol love the story of the teeth marks on the coaster! When mt son and wife flew to the U.S. to visit my GD was 2 years old - they had compliments to and fro on the how well behaved she'd been. Whereas an older child jad created merry hell all the way. My Grandmother used to say all behaviour good or bad should have consequences .

grannyactivist Sat 17-Mar-12 23:48:31

dorsetpennt I think your Grandmother was absolutely right. Sadly the consequence of bad behaviour for too many children nowadays, is that they get their own way. I took my daughter and two year old grandson to a nice restaurant for lunch today and was delighted at the way my grandson immediately apologised after being chastised by his mother for making a fuss.

harrigran Sun 18-Mar-12 00:34:06

My DC always behaved when travelling and whist in restaurants and we were complimented many times. I think constant parental attention keeps children in check, once you allow them to get down and run around the discipline is gone.

petallus Sun 18-Mar-12 07:48:28

What is the world coming to?
Children should be seen and not heard!

Come on guys, lighten up. And what's with all the boasting?

petallus Sun 18-Mar-12 07:52:15

p.s. I was very well behaved as a child, so were/are my children and grandchildren (in fact one is always being complimented for his manners by his teachers at his grammar school) smile

Carol Sun 18-Mar-12 08:16:35


petallus Sun 18-Mar-12 08:48:04

The second post was meant to be ironic smile

Carol Sun 18-Mar-12 09:12:50

Oh! It went right over my head Petallus. I thought you meant posters were boasting that their children were able to behave appropriately when out in public, which is something to be pleased about smile

petallus Sun 18-Mar-12 10:32:01

Carol My posts weren't very clear so I am attempting some clarification.

I love Gransnet and I was only thinking yesterday that I'm sort of proud to be a member.

However, when I come across one of those threads about the need for more discipline, how much better behaved we were when we were children, how awful children are these days, how children should learn that behaviour has consequences, how today's children get everything handed to them on a plate instead of having to work for it like we did, how our own children/grandchildren are an exception to this and quite wonderful etc. etc. my heart sinks to my boots.

Elsewhere it has been said that others see us as middle class, conservative and quite old in our attitudes. I don't think threads like the ones I have mentioned help with our image.

We can be quirky, interesting, controversial and risque some of the time.

Elegran Sun 18-Mar-12 11:07:44

That is how we are, petallus that is what we think. We worked hard to make our children into people who would be acceptable company for others, not spoiling anyone's meal with screams and tantrums. On the whole we succeeded.

Why should we not mention this? On some forums people are mentioning how they got falling-down drunk at the weekend, cheated the taxman, screwed a zillion chicks or studs.

We are what we are.

Greatnan Sun 18-Mar-12 11:17:14

I had to take my second daughter to a lecture when I was training to be a teacher,as her infant school was closed for the day. She was a nightmare, crawling under the desks and demanding to sit on my knee. (Considering we were training to teach young children, I thought the tutor could have been more help!).. The odd thing is, she was as good as gold at home. My elder daughter behaved impeccably at school and could be quite wilful at home.
I never forgot this when I was teaching - children do not always fit neatly into a pattern.

goldengirl Sun 18-Mar-12 12:15:33

My GS [5] was a nightmare the other night. He and his sister joined us for dinner at our house as we had our niece and her daughter [9] staying the night. Neither of my GC wanted to eat what I'd prepared. GD [7] was fine but showed off a bit which was OK with a few stern words but her brother said he wouldn't eat anything and began to make a fuss. I took him at his word and dolled out the food to the rest of us whereupon he had a hissy fit that he was hungry and wanted some. I dredged up a little bit in a bowl but he wouldn't try it so he went without! Luckily I was supported by his mother who was also there and he was taken home. The rest of us - except GD - cleared out plates, so it wasn't the food!!!! Needless to say my niece's daughter had impeccable manners!

nightowl Sun 18-Mar-12 12:44:39

I have to confess that I took my DGS (18 months) out for lunch with a friend and her 6 week old baby recently and he was an absolute nightmare. Because my friend was feeding her baby I couldn't leave with him (we had travelled together). I had a struggle to get him in the highchair, he wouldn't eat his food and he knocked his drink all over the floor. He then had the mother of all tantrums. My friend was very impressed that I didn't get flustered but in fact I felt like a complete failure and realised I am definitely out of practice! I have forgotten what mine were like as children, but maybe they were just as bad and I've always been a bit rubbish? Ah well, keep trying blush

Greatnan Sun 18-Mar-12 13:00:50

There is nothing more rigid than the body of a toddler who is determined not to be put into a high chair/car seat!

harrigran Sun 18-Mar-12 13:09:32

Rigid toddler, nightmare, especially trying to buckle into buggy. They seem capable of balancing on their heels while back is totally arched.

Anagram Sun 18-Mar-12 13:25:55

Oh, and trying to get toddler twins into a supermarket trolley when they don't want to go in! confused

Carol Sun 18-Mar-12 13:33:01

Petallus I am not concerned about the way others see Gransnet - from what I have read elsewhere, we get stereotyped for all sorts of reasons because people will only look at one aspect and we are more complex than that. I have seen us described as thick-skinned, prickly, aggressive, devious and not interested in children - all completely wide of the mark of course, and some days we might be all of those things - other days, absolutely none of them. At other times, people speculate about why we are Gransnet when we discuss political, social, monetary, weather, poetry and many other issues. When I look at the fabulous balance of different subjects on here today, I feel perfectly entitled to talk about the positive things I recall about my children when they were young.

It seems we are damned what ever way we behave. I do get fed up of being picked up on happy conversations that are doing nobody any harm at all.

Now I'm off out again to see the remainder of my lovely family, and when my twin grandsons are tearing round and falling off chairs, I will remind myself that they behave really well when we are out in public, and I am pleased to tell everyone about that.

Barrow Sun 18-Mar-12 13:41:40

As I don't have children (and therefore no grandchildren) perhaps I shouldn't be posting on this thread but it does remind me of a time when I was having lunch with a friend, a school teacher, there was a child running around the restaurant pulling at people's clothes and bags and generally being a nuisance. He came and stood at our table staring at us -my friend stopped talking, turned to him and said in her best strict teacher voice "Go Away". The boy's face was a picture as this had obviously never been said to him before and he scurried back to his mother, who was totally oblivious of the mayhem he was causing, and stayed there until we left. I think the whole of the restaurant, and the staff, heaved a huge sigh of relief!!

Anagram Sun 18-Mar-12 14:02:01

If you don't mind my asking, Barrow, if you have no children or grandchildren why did you decide to join Gransnet?

Anagram Sun 18-Mar-12 14:35:21

With regard to your post, though, often "the voice of authority" from a stranger will do the trick!

petallus Sun 18-Mar-12 15:05:40

Carol I don't think my remarks really applied to your earlier post which was really just about a happy occasion. What annoys me more is when people comment on the awfulness of other people's children in a condescending and patronising manner and then go on to say how perfectly their own children behave in comparison. It's the two things together than I don't like. That's just my personal feeling on the matter.

I agree that Gransnet is many things and of a marvellous complexity. We are a democratic, fairly tolerant bunch and that is why I felt able to express my feelings on the thread smile

Greatnan Sun 18-Mar-12 15:16:28

Once a teacher......I used to embarrass my daughters by telling teenagers to behave properly if we were in the cinema queue and they were swearing.
I am not sure I would do it now though - too many reports of people being stabbed by youths high on drugs.

greenmossgiel Sun 18-Mar-12 15:39:26

Took my great-grandson (with his mum, my granddaughter) to buy him some trainers the other day. He's 21 months. He sat on the floor of the shop and absolutely refused to have the shoes put onto his feet, so I picked him up and plonked him into his buggy, thinking that this would be an ideal position for 'shoe-trying-on'. However, he was having none of it, and as I was trying to sit him into the buggy, he turned right round, screaming all the time, until he was rigidly facing the back of the buggy and the harness was round the front of his head and face confused. I'm sure I used to cope better with this type of situation before - when I was younger! The rigidity of his (not so little) body made him even heavier, so his mum swiftly turned him round buckled him in, gave him a telling-off and decided that the shoes would fit - if not she'd bring them back and exchange them. I found myself quite flustered blush.