Who should a son put first on Mothering Sunday his own Mother or his wife?

I have had a phone call to say that DS and GDs are taking mummy out for her lunch which I think is great. I will go and see them later when they are full and tired out

Exactly, jeni. I had a friend whose husband, aged 37, called in to see his mother on his way home from work every single night. She was only about 60 and perfectly fit.
It is said a good son makes a good husband, but there are limits.

Just had a very nice call from dd and a gurgle from dgd

I think mums with young children should have the limelight. It can be different when the children are grown, and it's lovely to receive cards and presents, but I don't need the overblown hype, just affection and contact with my family on the other days.

jeni - nice!

Maniac, my birthday, like yours, is very close to Mother's Day. I like to think the family think of me then, more than on a day when they would have to pay exorbitant prices for a little bunch of flowers. (Even Aldi's flowers were more expensive yesterday, so I did without my usual weekly bunch !

A present from my daughter, but I really think my son has forgotten . When he's in a relationship with someone, he does seem to immerse himself into their family and ignore his own, which is all very well until you find you need your own family.

Crimson some men need the right partner to slap 'em into shape.

JessM - that's why I'd like my lad to meet a nice girl... - not just so I'd get a regular Mother's Day card, either!

Yes me too green preferably one that does not say yes sir no sir when he gets daft ideas into his head. However he reckons that good looking women in short supply in NZ - they are all either married or abandoned ship.

My daughter in New Zealand would never hear about her son if it were left to him - his fiance keeps her up to date with pm's and photos of her granddaugters.
He was a bit of a tearaway as a teenager, but once he met her he settled down to a steady job and is a great father. I have never understood mothers who are jealous of their DIL if their son is happy with her.

I think a sons place is with his wife as I have had my 'turn' when my children where little,but I do find mothers day quite difficult as my daughters died one as a baby and one in her twenties a young mum herself,I am bringing up her daughter,which in turn is painful as she is angry that I am not her mum, and we have over the time developed ways of dealing with this in our own way.
My son has recently married and I have made it clear that his first priority is always his wife,so I am truly grateful for the support of the phone call/or card to show that he is aware of my feelings,I am separated from their father,although on very good terms,and have a very thoughtful partner who is very loving to me whatever day it is.......just want to say as a newbie am enjoying the posts and happy mothers day to you all

Welcome, Nellie - you have certainly had more than your share of unhappiness and you have a tough job bringing up an angry grandchild.
I am glad to hear you have an understanding partner.

nelliedeane, you've had to deal with so much. A happy Mother's Day to you. .

Hello nellie - Welcome!

When my children were small we "had" to spend Mother's Day travelling (70 miles each way) to see my mum otherwise there would be hell to pay!! I never really felt that Mother's Day was for me. Because of that I believe that the day should be for mothers of young children and while I am delighted to get a card from my sons (and their wives) I enjoy helping the grandchildren make cards and presents for their mums. Mums of young families need some spoiling and it is good to remind the grandchildren to tell their mums how wonderful they are! It gives me great pleasure to fiddle about with cards and beads and tissue paper with the grandchildren and I know their mums appreciate it. I can't imagine expecting my sons to put their mother before their wives - I hope I have brought them up better than that!!!

nelliedeane welcome to GN anytime you need a chat just pop in, there will always be someone about to have a chat to.

Welcome nellie - looking forward to chatting to you

thank you all for your warm welcome and your kind words,I have been on a few times hovering and the antics have really made me laugh,glad I am not alone suffering from the menopause,looking forward to having many more chats and reading all your thoughts and predicaments specially love the ones that only other women of a certain age can relate to

I don't really understand the Freudian implication!?
Having had a word with a few other Grans today - daughters and sons - every family is individual.
I was widowed at 50 and have a very special relationship with my sons.
The cards were opened - a few tears were shed as I was not seeing them - I miss them EVERY day not just on Mothering Sunday.
I had a wonderful day with my second husband looking at beautiful Shire Horses in Peterborough happy in the knowledge that my sons were with their respective wives and children.
I am looking forward to my 65th birthday in the summer when we will all be together.

There is nothing wrong with having a close relationship with your son - as long as it does not interfere with his relationship with his wife. I am sure it does not apply to any of our members, but I have known women who were fiercely jealous of any woman that their son showed an interest in, to the extent of deliberately wrecking any budding romance by ridiculing the 'rival'.

I would make one exception Greatnan. If I had known how ex-DIL was going to behave, I would have pushed her in the canal the day she was introduced to me

But then he would never have had the chance to find out what a rotter she is, and would have blamed you forever!

True!

I have always put my mother or my MIL first on Mother's Day. Sadly my Mum emigrated a few years after I was married so MIL became the priority even though it meant travelling 100 miles and a weekend away to be with her. Then MIL moved to be 15 miles from us and we visited her every 2 weeks (sometimes 3 weeks) throughout the year. Mother's Day was a ritual take her out somewhere nice for lunch and never mind how I felt about it. I just looked forward to a lovely meal out and enjoyed my dd as usual (I always received a card and present from her).

Now my dd is 30 years old and I have just enjoyed a weekend of her company with flowers and chocolates to celebrate.

Perhaps I was just brought up to respect my elders and they were the important members of the family to be treated best on Mother's Day.