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AIBU to try to discourage DH to think twice before being a good samaritan?

(12 Posts)
goldengirl Fri 20-Apr-12 21:54:48

We had a rather weird scenario outside our house yesterday. DH was walking up our path and I was looking out of the window and we both saw a youngish man fall to his knees and just stay in that position. He had a couple of carrier bags which were spilling onto the pavement.

DH, being DH immediately went over to him and came back to me saying that the man needed some new carriers but to leave him to it. As DH returned with the bags and - in the wet - got on his knees to help put the items [new shirts in packets] into the new carriers, a woman came up with a dog, talked to the man but didn't help with the repacking. DH helped the man to his feet and they went off together having thanked DH for his help!

DH said they'd told him they were going to the job centre which seemed odd as it was after 5.30. He also said that the pair seemed to know each but it was strange how they reacted to the situation. He thought the man was either ill - which he said he wasn't - on drugs or had one too many. He said the woman spoke strangely too. Watching the scenario from the window made me very uneasy. I had my eye on the woman and DH's jacket pockets which were visible - just in case [all was well]. I also kept in easy reach of the phone - just in case. Everything was OK, but you hear and see awful things on the television - and it all seemed very odd. The fact they now know where we live is niggling at the back of my mind too. Oh dear! I never thought I'd feel like this about helping people.

jeni Fri 20-Apr-12 22:01:40

Does seem odd?
Just make sure you lock doors, windows etc:
Might you ring neighbours to warn them also?

harrigran Fri 20-Apr-12 22:09:17

Does seem strange, might have been a scam to find out age etc of house occupant. I think it was just as well you didn't invite him in for a cup of tea for the shock. Sad sign of the times when we have to be wary of people. I have CCTV on the outside of my house and it is especially effective for covering the front drive and letting me see who is at the door.

Nanban Sat 21-Apr-12 08:08:37

If the world wasn't as it is you would have just helped him and thought nothing of it. You did something good and nice and don't be put off doing it again. Lovely thing to do.

Greatnan Sat 21-Apr-12 08:42:35

This is an interesting topic. My daughter begged her sons not to get involved when gangs were threatening people as she was sure they would get stabbed/shot/seriously injured. I don't think the situation ever arose, but I am pretty sure they would have waded in without a second thought.

Gally Sat 21-Apr-12 09:26:30

DD1 lives in a small, almost idyllic village; However, the idyll ends at the entrance to her cul de sac, where young people in their late teens and early 20's amass, blocking it with bikes, cars and motor bikes. The neighbours (and I when visiting) find it very intimidating and even I, who would normally say something, have kept quiet. DD hates wading her way through them with her babies, putting up with looks and asides. The police are 'aware' but up to recently have done nothing. Last weekend the police were called, sorted out the fracas but then one of the officers was assaulted and a full blown fight ensued. They are now all out on bail (one with a broken leg!!) but with a curfew. All these young people are out of work, live at home with parents who seem to care not a jot at how their offspring behave. They all seem to have sufficient funds to run cars and drink copiously (presumably allowances from the state). This scene must be duplicated many times across our country. What is becoming of our society? sad

nelliedeane Sat 21-Apr-12 10:01:19

I would have been like goldengirls husband and jumped in without thinking,I have run out barefoot in my nightclothes to stop a young girl taking a hiding from her boyfriend and stayed until police came,also I have jumped out my car to assist accidents etc without thinking....its afterwards that the 'what ifs and could haves' kick in,perhaps I will learn more sense as I get older with regard to my personal safety.

Nonu Sat 21-Apr-12 17:21:14

We live in a very very old house 180 years old , which has no front garden so we go straight on to the street , in our sitting room / lounge we are obviously next to the street . We have in the past heard noises which might be a bit "sussy " people going "on a bit " but I tell you what in this day and age there is no way at all we would go out to see what is going on , a sad indictment really but we feel that is the sensible way to go

Nonu Sat 21-Apr-12 17:25:09

One other thought , there is always 999

Greatnan Sat 21-Apr-12 17:26:23

I am always staggered when I read reports of murders or rapes to find witnesses saying they heard screaming but did nothing about it. I think I would at least investigate.

Carol Sat 21-Apr-12 17:46:36

Me too! If I feel unsafe when hearing screams or seeing someone coming to some harm, I would dial 999. On one occasion, I did challenge a pimp who was pestering a hostel resident from his car. I went out and told him to shove off before the police arrive, then as he drove down the street he waved a gun through the window. Scary, but the police caught up with him and he was prosecuted for that without me having to attend court. I might think twice before doing that again, but then...I've retired!

goldengirl Sun 22-Apr-12 08:09:16

Calling 999 on this occasion wasn't warranted but I was at the window with the phone just in case. But long would it have taken for them to arrive!

I remember one occasion when our business was burgled and I was called out. The police complete with a dog were actually waiting for me and - they made me go in first! I've never got over that. Their excuse was that 'I knew the building'! Yet on another occasion when I was on my own and someone 'mooned' at my study window, I reported it just for the record but they hurtled round to make sure I was alright as I was on my own which was thoughtful - although it could be that they weren't so busy that night!

It's sad though that many of us feel we have to think twice before acting. When I pointed out to DH that I was watching his pockets he said he hadn't thought of that. I used to be in the probation service so perhaps that has made me more wary as well.