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new puppy new baby

(20 Posts)
nanaej Mon 14-May-12 20:30:59

My DDs MiL is about to get a puppy. DD is a bit fed up as it is arriving at same time as DDs new baby is due & does not really want a puppy in the house at time of new baby but knows MiL will take offence at a request not to bring puppy into the house (MiL can be precious!). Should she speak out or not??

HildaW Mon 14-May-12 20:43:19

Hang on to your hats is all I can say. We took on a 9 month old puppy 5 months ago (Dogs Trust rescue) Its a full time job! We would not get rid of her but it just came as a shock as to how much work they are. Just hope the MIL knows what shes doing.

Joking apart, I'd keep any potential source of bugs and germs away from a new born baby, and no matter how much you like animals you have to accept that they can carry some potentially nasty things! When my daughter visits with her 3 year old and her 6 month old baby the pup is behind its 'doggy gate' - yes they are like baby gates only higher, in the scullery for most of the visit. For the rest of the time we tend to keep pup on a long house lead as she is still a bit bouncy with young children as as she is quite strong we would hate for there to be any frights.

I think your daughter, together with her husband (a united front) need to work out how they want things handled and to let Mum know what ground rules they want.

Mishap Mon 14-May-12 20:49:08

I do sympathise - my DD's MIL has a ghastly spoiled pup that wees and poos ad lib - and DD had a difficult time trying to keep her babe off the carpet without offending said MIL. It is also a bit aggressive and possessive (because it is so spoiled) and we were all worried that it might snap at babe.

Pups do carry nasties and babes need protection from them.

I remember my MIL doted on two dreadful aggressive little yappy dogs - I stayed away with my children most of the time! The children were my priority. But I do remember on one occasion (when I couldn't avoid visiting) one of these critters started wining and skidding its nethers across the floor (where my DD was crawling) and MIL swept it into her arms and said "Aah, poor little thing - she's got a suppurating anal gland" - needless to say, I swept my babe up off the carpet pdq!! Yuk!!!

merlotgran Mon 14-May-12 21:00:38

Suggest MiL considers crate training the puppy. She might shriek in horror at the suggestion if she's a bit precious as you say but it worked a treat for DD and her Jack Russell terrier. Gloster, their puppy, got so used to his crate which he regarded as his personal space that he still puts himself in there when he wants some peace and quiet (he's nearly two now). We all spent last Christmas in a converted barn in Devon. Gloster came as well with his own sleeping quarters (crate). It fits in the boot of the car so DD often takes him in it when visiting friends who have toddlers.

nanaej Mon 14-May-12 21:19:48

Thanks for all your advice. smile Will pass tips on to DD and hope that the puppy turns out to be small and calm!!!

seasider Wed 16-May-12 23:31:17

we have just got a Shi Tzu puppy and he happily sleeps in a puppy cage every night and if we need to pop out. Not only does it stop him pooing anywhere, whilst we are training him, it also stops him chewing things or hurting himself.

Ariadne Thu 17-May-12 06:22:17

My grand dog has a cage and yes, it's his space. He puts himself to bed, or retreats there when he knows he's been naughty.

The MiLs and their dogs which some of you talk about sound like very thoughtless (to say the least) women. Ugh!

JessM Thu 17-May-12 07:27:11

Does your DD live with her MIL - if so then I think she should say it is making her worry. If she does not, then not appropriate.
Interesting move on the part of the MIL though ...

Sue162 Fri 18-May-12 12:12:47

Hello Everyone, I have lurked long enough and finally decided to take the plunge so please treat me gently! LOL!

It was your comment, JessM, that inspired me - I was also thinking that it is interesting timing by MiL. I have a granddaughter aged 28 months and a grandson who is due first week of June and I, also as the MiL, have noticed my interest in my baby doll collection has gone up quite a bit recently! At 68 and recovering from a painful rectopexy, I am never going to have another baby but can still feel broody. Wonder if that is her problem? I agree with everyone else, keep pets away from very small babies.

HildaW Fri 18-May-12 12:24:01

Aw Sue, hope you are feeling a lot better (sounds horrid). Yes I do think us oldies do get a bit of the broodies when we realize our body will no longer accomodate such needs. Think its why we got our dog, shes certainly taken the edge off my 'empty nest' feelings which hit hard and continue to make me feel a bit low from time to time. I dont get to see my two little darling Gcs more than once a month but as my daughter, their mother, chats most days and I feel very much part of their lives. However, no matter how dear dog is to me, she is a dog and must take second place when babies etc are in house. They visited yesterday and we kept her on a long lead and made sure she had two long walks to keep her busy. She is calming down around them and hopefully will be able to mix a bit more as time and her training allows.

whenim64 Fri 18-May-12 12:31:50

Hi Sue and welcome.

When I was trying to have a second baby, I sadly had an early miscarriage and began to think that my son was going to be an only child. We decided to wait no longer and brought home our lovely golden cocker spaniel puppy to be his friend - 'Sweep.' Needless to say, the following month I was pregnant, so when my second son arrived, we also had an 8 month old puppy whose whole mission in life was to be as mischievous as possible. Very hard work, but she adored the baby and they learned to get into mischief together. She seemed to understand that she shouldn't hang around him when he was tiny and crawling around, so would sit in her basket with eyes full of longing, waiting for permission to sit by him.

I would never leave a child alone with a dog, no matter how trustworthy and well known they are to me. We have always had at least one dog, including a gentle giant long-haired german shepherd, who we called 'Nanny Jake' as he would accompany the children wherever they were, sit by their beds before they went to sleep, watch them having a bath, and they would rest their heads on his back when reading or watching TV, which he loved.

Dogs enhance children's lives and whilst I wouldn't deliberately bring home a puppy when there is a new baby in the house, it worked out ok for us. My basset hound 'Nell' goes to doggie daycare and has been playing with puppies this week - she is being prepared to be introduced to my little grandaughters in the next few weeks - they are 7 months old now and haven't met her yet. She plays beautifully with children, so I'm optimistic she will adore these grandchildren like the others.

Sue162 Fri 18-May-12 17:40:13

Just wanted to say thank you for your welcome and I shall plunge in with more confidence from now on! wink

JessM Fri 18-May-12 19:03:49

Welcome sue and home your bottom feels better soon.
I bought a dog when pregnant the second time - as I was on maternity leave seemed the ideal time! carefully chose a golden retriever for placid nature and he did indeed tolerate not only a crawling baby pulling his ears, but also hens walking on him!
But that was my own choice!

Ariadne Fri 18-May-12 19:17:50

Hello, Sue welcome!

nanaej Sun 20-May-12 23:09:38

Welcome Sue!

baby arrived today..puppy was collected yesterday by DDs MiL! I am sure she had good intentions..i.e to give a distraction for new baby's big brother .. just think it was not thought through! I know she will want to come and see new baby as she lives near but not sure how long a puppy can be left for? or how long it takes to house train a puppy.. or if she will expect to take it into the house with new baby!

HildaW Mon 21-May-12 16:22:20

nanaej, congrats on the safe arrival of new baby, always a joy!
New puppies are just like new babies, you cant really leave them - shes a bit daft really especially as there is a big brother would will need a bit of support (with best intentions noses can be put out of joint). When my daughter's second arrived she found it useful for us to be on hand to make a bit of a fuss of the 'big brother'. Anyway, enjoy your new grandchild and at least your daughter will have you to 'download' to.

JessM Mon 21-May-12 19:52:06

Congratulations. In the grand scheme of things - I think this is not something to fret yourself about. If mum and baby well that is the thing to focus on and be happy! smile

nanaej Mon 21-May-12 20:20:04

Thanks for all the kind wishes! Little brother and big brother both seem absolutely fine as are their parents so all is well! Took big brother out for cake this afternoon at a cafe. Thinks he would like his brother to be called Chocolli! grin

whenim64 Mon 21-May-12 20:59:50

Congratulations - MIL will be busy with a new puppy - they shouldn't be left for more than an hour or so at a time in the first month, as they need house training. New puppies have a habit of 'christening' every new house they go in and they aren't particular where, so that won't be welcome in the same house as a new baby. Crate training is a good way to train and contain the mess. Bring them out every hour for a trip to the garden then back in, so they learn to be clean indoors.

I wouldn't introduce a puppy to a baby for some months - we are just about to introduce our dog to baby twins who are 7 months. It will be a quick sniff and they can look at her and squeal, then she'll be going back home within minutes.

By the time they are walking, she can spend more supervised time with them, then it's her lookout if she's prepared to stand the excitement and squeezes - she's managed with the other twins and done remarkably well. They all adore her.

nanaej Mon 21-May-12 21:28:35

thanks when I will talk to my DD about this so she has some idea what she should expect her MiL to be thinking about..we know v little about dogs! other than we quite like them.. but not in our homes!