Gransnet forums


to feel ignored?

(83 Posts)
gracesmum Sun 03-Jun-12 12:08:35

(No, I am not setting out to rival ian42 but making a point on a thread which nobody responds to, then somebody else says something similar and everybody goes "Good point, whoever" - like a voice in the wilderness, I sometimes wonder what is the point of commenting.sad

Anagram Sun 03-Jun-12 12:10:56

I think we all feel like that sometimes, gracesmum - in fact it was mentioned recently on another thread!

Greatnan Sun 03-Jun-12 12:21:56

My fault this time, I fear. I meant to say I agreed with Gracesmum but I got distracted by a phone call. My sincere apologies, GM.

Jacey Sun 03-Jun-12 12:30:40

Agree gracesmum ...have posted and next poster puts in something 'they have to say' completely ignoring previous comments sad

But today is a 'happy' day!! flag crown

Greatnan Sun 03-Jun-12 12:33:24

Jacey - I have often found that have posted at exactly the same time as someone else, so my post looks as if I am ignoring theirs. It is not usually intended, I think.

Jacey Sun 03-Jun-12 12:36:06

yes ...I do often check the times of posting now ...I think the best one was when five of us posted within seconds of each other!! flag

crimson Sun 03-Jun-12 12:38:53

I've always thought that we are the same on the internet as we are in the real world in that, which is strange as it's so anonymous. Some people are more 'backwards in coming forwards' than others and always will be. On the rare occassion that I phone someone these days I always say 'it's only me, am I stopping you from doing something important?' rather than assuming that they'll be really pleased to hear from me!

Jacey Sun 03-Jun-12 12:43:41

crimson that's why I often send e-mails ...people can decide when to read and reply. I also never telephone after 9pm either.

gracesmum Sun 03-Jun-12 12:47:47

But what I felt crimson was like someone in a conversation who having summoned up the "courage "to speak, was totally ignored. It was like:
"Doctor, doctor, I'm becoming invisible"
"Next please!"

crimson Sun 03-Jun-12 12:51:26

I was only talking to someone yesterday about emails; it was someone who doesn't have a computer and has no desire to do so, and I tried to explain that phone calls replaced letter writing but emails are an equivalent form of communication in that you can re read them and study the reply before replying yourself; all in a timescale that is not interupting anyone's lifestyle. Also, given that you have instant communication with someone on the other side of the world I find it quite magical.

Jacey Sun 03-Jun-12 12:53:49

Perhaps we should ask GNHQ for an 'invisible' emoticon??

But I do understand what you mean gracesmum as I have been there too ...sometimes it has happened because my post has ended on the bottom of a page confused

Anagram Sun 03-Jun-12 12:55:23

I understand exactly what you mean, gracesmum!
I think sometimes people just read the last couple of posts on a thread and inadvertently repeat your own point.

whenim64 Sun 03-Jun-12 12:56:49

You're not invisible round here gracesmum! flowers

Greatnan Sun 03-Jun-12 13:01:44

I keep changing 'customise' so I can read the oldest posts first or vice versa.
Sometimes if you come to a thread that is very long it is easy to miss an earlier post.

jeni Sun 03-Jun-12 13:29:27

Irony think you're invisible!

jeni Sun 03-Jun-12 13:30:09

Mistype! Should be I don't

Bags Sun 03-Jun-12 14:37:54

You're not invisible to me either, gracesmum, but I noticed only the other day that there were two conversations going on on the same thread. I've forgotten which thread this was. This would look as if some comments were being ignored unless one noticed that there were really two 'threads' in one. Also, some threads, by their very nature invite non sequiturs. I'm thinking of threads like "today I have been mainly".

Sewsilver Mon 04-Jun-12 08:04:48

You're not invisible Graces Mum . I do feel like this sometimes too on GN ( and occassionally in other parts of my life) . I realise that if I am feeling sensitive it matters a lot if I get no response. I think it brings back awful school memories of being excluded from groups of girls and feeling everyone was part of something I wasn't. I tend not to post when I feel like this as I fear rejection so I lurk quietly until a bit stronger. I have noticed recently that I feel envious (or is it jealous? Never sure of the difference.)0f GN meeting up and wish I felt brave enough .

JessM Mon 04-Jun-12 08:19:24

Now we're all feeling paranoid in case we ignored your post Gracesmum.
so collective sorry on behalf of all us hasty posters.
I suppose the point is that it is really not the same as a face to face. we didn't ignore you
Here are some other ways to potentially feel ignored on GN:
start a thread and no one answers.
start a thread and one or two people kindly respond and then it dies a death.
kill a long and lively thread stone dead.
oh and
write a really witty little post that you are really proud of and have nobody notices. Not a single grin. sad It was on Nanny State thread the other day. sad
Ho hum, talking of being ignored, back to writing a blog. Got to get someone to buy my ebook somehow. Try spending 2 years writing an ebook, publish on Kindle and then nobody buys it. Now that could make a woman feel ignored. sad

glassortwo Mon 04-Jun-12 08:27:48

grace you are not invisible, sometime's the thread runs ahead and a post gets lost, but I don't think its meant personally, sew yes if you are feeling a little sensitive it can knock you and leave you feeling pushed aside, but its happens to us all, maybe we should all try to read the posts so we dont leave anyone feeling like this.
sew if you get the chance to meet up with any Gnetters be brave and do it, I have had the opportunity to meet up with green, gally and Elegran and I honestly can say that they are just as they are on here so be brave and go for it. smile

Faye Mon 04-Jun-12 08:41:34

What about me, I always feel like my opinions are usually very different from everyone else and I feel like I don't fit in most of the time. Sometimes I feel like I have a battle on my hands because I have different views.

We all have feelings and most of us have at some time felt ignored and odd one out. sad

Greatnan Mon 04-Jun-12 08:47:18

I don't have a problem with rejection or being ignored - I simply tell myself that the person rejecting or ignoring me is really missing out! smile

I was an outsider at school - they put me in a class with girls two years older than me in junior school, and at grammar school I was the archetypal bright working class kid. I was usually the uneasy third in a friendship, where the other two used me if they had fallen out with their 'real' best friend. I suppose it taught me how to deal with rejection without being too sensitive. I don't look for offence, although sometimes it is hard to overlook some comments.
I have spent years walking on egg shells with a daughter who positively looks for insults in every innocent remark - I now know she has some serious problems and that I can do nothing to avoid her misinterpretation.

I did post a question about a TV programme and got no replies. Tough - perhaps nobody else watches it. I didn't brood about it - it was just one of those things.

I do sympathise with people who are easily hurt and can only reassure them that most members are full of goodwill, but perhaps some of us post too hastily without trawling through all the previous posts or threads to make sure we are not missing anything. I will be more careful in future.

Greatnan Mon 04-Jun-12 08:52:14

See - Faye posted whilst I was typing and thinking so it looks as if I ignored her post!
I would have replied that there is nothing wrong with holding strong opinions and stating them, but you must be prepared for people with different opinions to comment and/or question your views. I think you are probably mistaken in thinking you hold unique views - I suppose we divide into two broad groups,depending on our religious/political stances but perhaps the people who share my views are more vocal.
Keep posting,Faye, even if nobody supports your views, it all adds to life's rich tapestry.

gracesmum Mon 04-Jun-12 09:14:12

greatnan - I am not sure whether the "you" is general or specific when you say "I think you are probably mistaken in thinking you hold unique views" - surely each person's opinion is unique to them or at least seems so at the time of expression? Gransnet must encompass a wide range of political/religious/social experience and comment on and the questioning of our opinions is surely the basis of discussion.
Not brooding about anything, but perhaps I have voiced a view shared by some others?

gracesmum Mon 04-Jun-12 09:17:33

faye you are no way the "odd one out" - we are all individuals with our own take on life, aren't we? There should be no question of "fitting in" or not.How dull life would be if we all agreed on everything!cupcake