Gransnet forums



(94 Posts)
petallus Sat 16-Jun-12 08:28:04

We have a problem in our house with football. Husband records various matches and then wants to watch them later on the tv. The tv is in our large comfortable living room. Most nights he seems to be waiting to watch a match and I don't find it easy to sit and read with the match on so I go to bed early (there's not really anywhere else to sit). Last night I went into the living room about 9 pm to find husband sitting watching football. He insisted on turning it off because I was going to leave the room. So then I feel guilty and sit in the with husband who puts some music on and sits there chatting in a half hearted way but I know he is waiting for me to go to bed so he can get on with his viewing. On these occasions I end up going to bed earlier than I usually would. I did so last night. This morning I got up and walked into the living room to find the football on. Turned round to walk out and husband switched off the football but looking hard done by and I felt guilty again.

He says I don't want him to watch football and we've just had a row and he has stormed out before we could have any kind of discussion about how to resolve this increasingly stressful situation.

We only have the one comfortable sitting room, then a tiny study and the bedrooms. Am I being unreasonable in a) not wanting sport on tv all the time and b) wanting to be able to talk about it reasonably. Husband will probably now sulk for hours.

Don't be kind to me Gransnetters. Tell me what you really think.

What a rant!

petallus Sat 16-Jun-12 08:31:11

This might seem relatively trivial but I'm really getting stressed about it. It also happens with golf, boxing, cricket etc. to a lesser extent.

Barrow Sat 16-Jun-12 09:22:14

Perhaps a second TV in the bedroom would help - although it would mean you both watching TV in different rooms which isn't ideal.

I would certainly try to talk to him and perhaps agree certains times when he can watch football and you can get on with other things. To want to have sport on all the time in the one comfortable sitting room in the house is unreasonable.

absentgrana Sat 16-Jun-12 11:19:26

If it's just this Euro thingy, then I would probably grin and bear it for the duration (but I wouldn't watch it). If it's any old football, then I would think about installing another television somewhere and agree about who watches which television when.

petallus Sat 16-Jun-12 12:59:50

Thanks Barrow and Absent. I was bloody furious when I posted. Since then we have managed to behave like adults and come to some sort of compromise and I feel much calmer.

I haven't told DH I posted him up on Gransnet though grin

petallus Sat 16-Jun-12 13:00:39

I wonder if I was secretly hoping everyone would rush in and slag him off grin

Ella46 Sat 16-Jun-12 13:38:03

petal could you try earplugs/earphones with music, to drown out the sound while you read?

Elegran Sat 16-Jun-12 13:49:34

Alternate evenings would be one idea, it is also your comfortable room after all.

Is there anything on a different channel that you prefer to watch? If not you could try feigning intense interest in something so that you are not so much objecting to his choice but more expressing a desire for something that you find interesting.

A few evenings of being bored watching your choice might bring home to him how desperate you are to miss some of the footie. But possible not, if he is in the habit of doing what he likes.

Elegran Sat 16-Jun-12 13:59:58

I am not slagging him off, but 100% of his choice does not seem fair to me. Hope your compromise works.

Have you subjected him to trying to follow the footie while you are on the phone to a friend at the same time? That might show him how hard it is to read with an excited commentator shouting in your ear.

Perhaps he could wear the earplugs so that it is peaceful for you to concentrate on your reading? Alternately with you wearing them, so that he does not feel put-upon. (They are fragile souls at times, aren't they?)

numberplease Sat 16-Jun-12 18:38:20

Petallus, it`s the same in our house, with the differnce being that my hubby wouldn`t even have offered to switch the football off, willingly or not. Even if there`s something on the other side, which is rare at the moment, it`s fnding time to watch anything that I tape, because usually when footie finishes on one channel, it starts up again on the other! And I can`t watch later on at night because I have to be up early for grandson coming. And if it`s not football, it`s F1, or stupid Japanese game shows!!

kittylester Sat 16-Jun-12 18:58:54

You are not being unreasonable petallus. Buy another TV, have the wiring done to where every suits you best and make him pay.

We have 4 tvs:

1. The HD set with SKY+ in the lounge which is, of course, the ONLY one on which to watch the football.

2. A small one in the kitchen which I refuse to watch except when I'm cooking as I already spend far too much time in there!!

3. A cronky old one in the 'playroom' where the sofa needs replacing

4. Our bedroom but if I watch that one, I fall asleep!!

I can't win either as there are always 3/4 people for the football so I'm outnumbered. grin

petallus Sat 16-Jun-12 19:39:23

Thanks for the comments. Very helpful. Earphones a good idea. I wouldn't mind seeing the football without sound but the excited commentary and background chanting from the fans is irritating.

It can be quite boring being with someone who is keen on sport. Loves playing golf as well.

Anagram Sat 16-Jun-12 19:57:44

I know, petallus - it can be boring. At least my OH, when he does watch a football game, has the sound turned down because even he finds the commentary/cheering/chanting annoying! And cricket isn't so noisy!

I'm lucky in that we do have two rooms with a TV downstairs, and neither of us minds being separated for an evening or two...

NannaJeannie Sat 16-Jun-12 20:10:24

petallus have you got a laptop? could you watch your own programmes on there? I think most DH have football hardwired in them and they really like watching it. I knit or sew or read the paper when its on, or read gransnet. DH and me agreed many years ago, that most TV we watch together, but sometimes I watch my programmes and he goes and does something else and vice versa. Peace and harmony reign.

Annobel Sat 16-Jun-12 20:29:45

if it's the commentary that really annoys you, could you persuade him to turn off the sound and use subtitles?

Annobel Sat 16-Jun-12 20:31:27

Forget that! I have just experimented and the subtitler cannot keep up with the action!

petallus Sat 16-Jun-12 21:05:12

NannaJeannie yes I could watch my progs on my laptop or put a tv in my bedroom. But the main problem is that we only have one large living room with comfortable furniture in it and that is where the television is so if football is on it means I have to go and sit in my bedroom to read. This morning I got up at 8 a.m. and pottered downstairs thinking to sit and look at the garden over a cup of tea, and the football was on!!

Oh well, we've managed to cling on to our marriage for 45 years now in spite of our incompatabilities. Another one is he wants background music on 24/7 and I like quiet so I can hear the birds and the clock ticking.

Pete Sun 17-Jun-12 23:14:54

I think you maybe tested on Tuesday

petallus Mon 18-Jun-12 08:27:31

Well Pete now I'm forewarned I shall try to rise to the occasion smile

GillieB Mon 18-Jun-12 13:24:40

I think your husband and I are compatible! I love the football and am not looking forward to the competition coming to an end (but then, to be honest, I will probably be watching the Tour de France). We only have the one tv but as we are both football mad it is not a problem.

My problem is that there is not enough on mainstream television which I am interested in, so, to be honest, I do feel as if I am getting some of my licence money back during competitions like this.

I think the answer for you may be for your husband to switch the sound off (or way down) if you are disturbed by it and then you can get on with your reading. The main part of the competition is coming to an end anyway, so there will be much less football on soon.

janthea Mon 18-Jun-12 13:31:38

I have my daughter and son in law staying and he's football mad. Luckily I have a TV in the kitcher/diner which is very comfortable so he goes in there and my daughter and I have the comfortable sitting room. I also have a small TV in my bedroom and another in the room they are using. So there is no excuse for me to suffer football or any other sport for that matter!!! grin

numberplease Mon 18-Jun-12 16:11:32

Euro 2012 is bad enough, but yesterday teatime he even watched the flippin` women playing!

Anagram Mon 18-Jun-12 16:13:19

What gets me is why, when BBC are showing the evening game, do they have to broadcast it simultaneously on BBC1, BBC HD and BBC3?? confused

Anagram Mon 18-Jun-12 16:14:48

(Bad grammar, I know! I blame the endless football coverage! grin)

Annobel Mon 18-Jun-12 16:35:44

BBC3 was a different match, nag. I know they all look the same!