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is this really bad manners or am I being unreasonable

(16 Posts)
carol123 Thu 19-Jul-12 21:00:52

Well me and the DIL are not getting on too great at the moment but still see her around once a month. Anyway my OH does a contracted job twice a year which pays really good money and this year they were a man short for it so DIL said her sister's hubby was self employed but struggling so could my OH employ him. My OH gave him the job (2weeks work at really great hourly rate) and he was a real star - very hard working. Anyway the cheques all came here as they usually do - 4 weeks wait to get paid so I sent DILs sister a private message on Facebook just telling her the cheques had come and he could collect it from here if he wanted. And guess what she didnt even reply

Anagram Thu 19-Jul-12 21:18:35

Any chance she hasn't seen your message? Or felt that it was perhaps not the best place to advertise personal business? I would have thought a quick phone call to your DIL personally might have been more tactful. Sorry!

Ella46 Thu 19-Jul-12 21:22:36

carol sometimes there are problems on fb with messages not going through properly, so I would send another one if I were you. Unless you have another way of contacting them.

johanna Thu 19-Jul-12 21:33:04

On Facebook?
He was employed by your OH. OH must have a contact address.
Sorry you are being unreasonable.

Greatnan Thu 19-Jul-12 21:37:51

I often miss messages either here on Facebook if my computer is acting up or I have been away for a while. I think it would be better if your husband posted the cheque or you telephoned them.

whenim64 Thu 19-Jul-12 22:17:31

I don't understand why anyone would use Facebook to conduct business?

granjura Thu 19-Jul-12 22:34:11

Many people look at their FB very rarely- so I would never ever really on FB for any important matter.

I am also amazed to see how many people make comments on FB to 'get at' people close to them. A recipe for disaster imho.

jeni Thu 19-Jul-12 23:13:02

Stick to GN I say! Eschew all others!

tanith Thu 19-Jul-12 23:23:46

As others have said lots of people don't even see messages on their Facebook pages.. sometimes messages don't even show up.
Much better to contact the man directly by phone I would say.

carol123 Fri 20-Jul-12 00:40:34

It was a private email to her so no one can see it except her - she is on there every day sometimes more than once a day. She did see it as u get a tick come up and the time someone sees it. No details were disclosed anyway just that a cheque was here if her OH wanted to collect it. She did see it about an hour later but hasnt bothered saying thanks for letting me know or anything which I do think is rude.

Bags Fri 20-Jul-12 06:54:10

Your OH employed her OH. Perhap she expected your OH and her OH to communicate about such matters. It isn't really anyone else's businees but theirs. Perhaps by not replying to your message, she is trying to tell you this, ahem, as politely as she can.

Bags Fri 20-Jul-12 07:53:13

It's also possible that she knows you'll know she'll have got the message and therefore doesn't think it needs a reply.

Seems to me you're looking for something to be annoyed about.

petallus Fri 20-Jul-12 09:24:21

Are you expecting some sign of gratitude for giving her relative a job?

AnneMaria Fri 20-Jul-12 11:59:21

I don't think anything would of worked here but perhaps it's time to make efforts to get along better. No blame to place just doing it because it would everyone's life much nicer. Nothing too big just a small gesture or invitation to a summer get together (not party). But do it by telephone or face to face, much nicer for everyone.

Greatnan Fri 20-Jul-12 12:00:34

I assume that most people who post on a thread called 'Am I being unreasonable to...' expect to be given a resounding 'No'. This time, the weight of opinion is 'Yes, you are being unreasonable', but I wonder if the OP accepts it!

JessM Fri 20-Jul-12 12:24:10

I agree - you are a bit over-involved with this one. Let the chaps sort it out between them.
It is easy to get offended with people - the hard thing is to let minor failings of courtesy just go - with a shrug - and move on.