is this really bad manners or am I being unreasonable

Any chance she hasn't seen your message? Or felt that it was perhaps not the best place to advertise personal business? I would have thought a quick phone call to your DIL personally might have been more tactful. Sorry!

carol sometimes there are problems on fb with messages not going through properly, so I would send another one if I were you. Unless you have another way of contacting them.

On Facebook?
He was employed by your OH. OH must have a contact address.
Sorry you are being unreasonable.

I often miss messages either here on Facebook if my computer is acting up or I have been away for a while. I think it would be better if your husband posted the cheque or you telephoned them.

I don't understand why anyone would use Facebook to conduct business?

Many people look at their FB very rarely- so I would never ever really on FB for any important matter.

I am also amazed to see how many people make comments on FB to 'get at' people close to them. A recipe for disaster imho.

Stick to GN I say! Eschew all others!

As others have said lots of people don't even see messages on their Facebook pages.. sometimes messages don't even show up.
Much better to contact the man directly by phone I would say.

It was a private email to her so no one can see it except her - she is on there every day sometimes more than once a day. She did see it as u get a tick come up and the time someone sees it. No details were disclosed anyway just that a cheque was here if her OH wanted to collect it. She did see it about an hour later but hasnt bothered saying thanks for letting me know or anything which I do think is rude.

Your OH employed her OH. Perhap she expected your OH and her OH to communicate about such matters. It isn't really anyone else's businees but theirs. Perhaps by not replying to your message, she is trying to tell you this, ahem, as politely as she can.

It's also possible that she knows you'll know she'll have got the message and therefore doesn't think it needs a reply.

Seems to me you're looking for something to be annoyed about.

Are you expecting some sign of gratitude for giving her relative a job?

I don't think anything would of worked here but perhaps it's time to make efforts to get along better. No blame to place just doing it because it would everyone's life much nicer. Nothing too big just a small gesture or invitation to a summer get together (not party). But do it by telephone or face to face, much nicer for everyone.

I assume that most people who post on a thread called 'Am I being unreasonable to...' expect to be given a resounding 'No'. This time, the weight of opinion is 'Yes, you are being unreasonable', but I wonder if the OP accepts it!

I agree - you are a bit over-involved with this one. Let the chaps sort it out between them.
It is easy to get offended with people - the hard thing is to let minor failings of courtesy just go - with a shrug - and move on.