to expect people to say Thank you?

Bags Good to have you back.

I think that's my approach too, petallus.

gracesmum, I understand your feelings. I was just trying to suggest that a more relaxed attitude is less stressful. If the people who attend a get-together enjoy themselves, that's thanks enough for me, since that was the plan. Smiling faces are thanks in themselves.

That said, my sister fished for another thank you by text this morning. I gave her one because that's what she wanted, not because I, along with everybody else, hadn't thanked her already more than once. My sister-in-law, who chose to be in charge of four of the seven main meals, will not fish for more thank yous. Neither will my husband who took various parties out on trips and was always willing to be driver for those without transport. Both SiL and DH were happy to contribute their share of usefulness in the way that came most naturally to them, knowing that it was appreciated at the time.

I guess know I have a nice family

Nice to be back, soop

Oh dear, I fear an enormous gap in my social education. Last week we went to my SiL's for lunch. I took flowers (florist not supermarket) and thanked her profusely with two kisses and a hug when we left. Should I have sent a note too?

No!
Whatever is the customary practice in your social/family circle is fine!
My goodness, we'll be giving thank you notes to the milkman next (if we're lucky enough to have one, that is.....)

Oh dear, I thought this thread had died the death. Nevertheless, I still think that whatever the circumstances if someobody has put themselves out for you, a thank you is in order. You may think Please and Thank you have become so automatic that they are meaningless, but a world without them would be a brusquer and unfriendlier place.
I don't like to feel that I have "fished" for a thank you and I also have a nice family who can just be a little thoughtless at times.