problems with my mother...

I agree with mishap, and think you need to just stand your ground about your own independence. Tell her thank you for the thought but you'd rather she didn't choose clothes for you, and don't buy clothes for her. In short, don't play her little control games.
I know it can be hard to break out of the trying to please mum mode. I've had that problem myself, also only resolved in my fifties, but over different issues than clothes.

If she still buys clothes from charity shops for you, just accept them and take them back or otherwise dispose of them. If she asks, tell her they weren't to your taste and you took them back. If she throws a hissy fit, shrug and walk away.

Good luck.

Fenn Wright and Mason do lovely clothes. Could you wear the cardigan yourself?

Yes, don't buy any more clothes for your mother.

Also, don't feel you have to start accepting clothes from your mother.

Oh dear, it does sound as though your mother was very hurt when you stopped accepting her gifts and only gave the cardigan back in a fit of petty revenge. Some mothers just find it so difficult to step back and stop 'looking after' their children even when they are, like you, in their 50s!
I don't think yo deserved it at all, and I don't know what you can do about the situation because you obviously don't want to start encouraging her to buy you clothes again.
Perhaps steer clear of the clothes issue completely and choose an alternative gift this Christmas!

Just steer clear of buying her clothes! - how about a voucher for a clothes shop instead?

Don't let this little worm grow into a monster! - take the practical approach and put the emotions aside. Life is too short and all that.....!