Gransnet forums


Older Grandchildren

(45 Posts)
fadedglory Tue 25-Sep-12 09:24:02

Am I being unreasonable....
It irritates me that the 'Being a Gran' section here appears to think that all of us have tiny Grandchildren.
I have 6 ranging in age from 23-14 years not months. I'm way past the stage of nappy changing and why would a Granny need advice on how to do that??
Even when or if I become a GreatGran I doubt I'll have forgotten those basic skills.

Can't we have some discussion on subjects like what to do when your teenage Grandkids like you better than they like their parents, or how far you should subsidise your student Grandchild?

Grossi Tue 25-Sep-12 09:39:27

Of course you are not being unreasonable fadedglory. I have only one quite young grandchild so far, but I am certain I will never need lessons on how to change a nappy smile.

(There are some very weird and wonderful nappies available though!)

whenim64 Tue 25-Sep-12 09:39:53

My eldest grandson is 12, going on 75! He doesn't like his baby cousins, is irritated by the 4 year olds because they keep asking him questions, is indifferent to his new baby brother, and thinks all social occasions can be tolerated if he can bring his X-Box. He hates clothes shopping, refuses to have his hair cut, doesn't think he should wear socks, ever, and goes into meltdown if asked 'have you got any homework?' We've noticed how like his great-grandfather he has become all of a sudden! Where did that sweet little boy go? Fortunately, he will chat happily as long as I don't 'eyeball' him (his word for anyone who gives him eye contact) and we cook together. Can't wait to see what the twins will be like! hmm

Hunt Tue 25-Sep-12 09:40:09

Hurrah! I thought I was the only one. My lovely GS1 is training to be a fireman it has been so exciting hearing about all the tests and training he is going through. GS2 is in his last year at school, been to his first Festival and has taken up ice hockey. GS3 is a drummer with his own band about to enter a competition with other bands. GD was successful in getting a job, has already had a rise and a promotion and been headhunted by another firm. It is all so much more exciting than when they were younger although that was lovely too.

kittylester Tue 25-Sep-12 09:46:19

See, all it needed was you to start a thread faded grin

I have two sort-of older granchildren (the children of my youngest daughter's new husband). The younger one, unfortunately has Asperger's Syndrome, goes to a special school and, after a few difficult years, is training to be a hairdresser. The older one is currently in France doing a year abroad as part of his degree.

petallus Tue 25-Sep-12 09:46:26

Mine are 23,21,13 and 7. 23 year old has lived with me for last 7 years.

absentgrana Tue 25-Sep-12 09:48:41

fadedglory Just start a conversation about things related to having older grandchildren on chat or relationships or wherever seems appropriate. You'll soon get people talking and, as you can see, from here there are others in a similar situation (and more who have mentioned older grandchildren in passing another threads).

As far as nappies are concerned, I encountered brightly coloured cotton nappy holders into which absorbent pads are inserted for the first time in March this year with the birth of my fifth grandchild. My daughter demonstrated how to adjust the size. I always used terry nappies for her except when travelling when I used the traditional type of disposable. Her other children also had traditional disposables, so I welcomed her advice.

Greatnan Tue 25-Sep-12 10:17:54

I wonder why people complain about a lack of threads that seem pertinent to their own situation - just start one! We are all equal members of Gransnet and anyone can start any thread.
As my name implies, I am on the next generation, my gc being 29, 28, 27, 24 (today), 21, 21,20, 16, 14 and 13.Great gc are 5, 3, 2 and 2. I don't recall any threads about nappy-changing - I must have missed that one!

I didn't think I had any problems with any of my gc until my daughter turned three of them against me. Her daughter who has remained supportive and knows her mother is delusional caught her telling the little ones that my other daughter and myself are evil people who have done terrible things to her. ( I am very close to my great-grand-daughters and they were left very confused.) She may have to stop her mother having contact with the children, which will be very sad. My only hope is that when she tells her brothers what her mother has done, they will finally come to realise how very ill their mother is.

Nelliemoser Tue 25-Sep-12 13:53:11

Grossi I was a dab hand with terry nappy but I have never changed one of the new style disposable nappies. I am sure I will learn once GC arrives (now due date + 7) Disposables nappies in the late 70s early 80s were dreadful leaky things.

tanith Tue 25-Sep-12 13:54:47

Faded as the others have said just start a topic on any of the subjects you have mentioned there will be plenty who join in. I've mentioned my grownup grandchildren lots of times on different threads here. I only have a 7yr old now as all the rest are over 14 or in their 20's.
Its a case now of am I helping them when I lend them money? or just encouraging them to spend what they have not earned? They do pay me back but methinks my foot is going to go down if I'm asked again. They seem embarrassed to admit to their parents they are struggling but are happy to talk to me about it which I suppose is a backhanded compliment as they know that I will keep their misdemeanors to myself.

Greatnan Tue 25-Sep-12 14:06:20

My oldest grandson asked me to lend him £2,000 for the deposit on a flat but not to tell his mum! I did and got it back about a month later than promised. I had sent over what I thought would be enough euros to amount to £2,000, but he put back £1,989 which was apparently what the exchange rate had been on the day. I don't know about you, but I was a bit surprised that he had not rounded it up to £2,000! I won't be lending him any more money.

tanith Tue 25-Sep-12 14:24:41

Smacks of skinflinty Greatnan {grin} , I recently paid £28 import duty on some vynil records my son had ordered from abroad . He was in the country for a few days and called to pick them up , I told him what it'd had cost me at the Post Office and said just put it in my bank.. I'll wait and see if A) he remembers to pay me without promptin, or B)pays me and rounds it up to £30 grin . My grandson has been paying me back some money he borrowed 18mths ago its getting paid back slowly but surely.. but like you I'll think twice before doing it again.

mickey Tue 25-Sep-12 14:38:22

my older GCs are nearly 20 and 18-one at uni.the other going next year. my third GC is 3 weeks old. am very much involved with her, the other two were born abroad. I love buying stuff for all of them-although its easier for a baby. as for baby equipment its like something from another planet compared to what we had-or more like had not. if they go anywhere it will be like moving an army.

annodomini Tue 25-Sep-12 14:58:42

I have from time to time loaned my DSs money for deposits on house, car, etc. They have always set up SOs in order to repay it within however many months we agreed. I remember doing the same when my dad helped me to buy my first car.

numberplease Tue 25-Sep-12 17:22:16

My eldest grandchild, when he was nearly 18, called round one afternoon and asked if I would lend him a fiver. This was on a Tuesday, and all I had left was a fiver and a bit of change. I told him this, but said I`d lend him the fiver, he said he`d call on the Friday to pay me back. He paid me back in February this year, almost 3 years after the event!

annodomini Tue 25-Sep-12 17:37:27

With interest, number?

glammanana Tue 25-Sep-12 18:17:13

I also have older grandchildren and we paid towards their uni costs and will do so for the others if they decide to go down the same route,we have also just paid 6mths subs for no 5DGS for his football matches and for DGD to have gymnastic tutition.I felt guilty when DD said she could not afford for them to go as she is on a really tight budget after her divorce and I don't think the children should miss out just because their father refuses to maintain them,it costs more now than it did when they where babies confused

Hunt Tue 25-Sep-12 23:02:31

Whenever we lend money to the next generations we always say ''If you pay it back ,it will be there for you to borrow again'' and they do!

numberplease Tue 25-Sep-12 23:18:41

No Anno, no interest, as if!

fadedglory Wed 26-Sep-12 09:45:11

Actually GreatNan I was complaining about the site itself, specifically the 'Being a Gran' one, not the forum threads but never mind.

MaggieP Wed 26-Sep-12 10:09:56

Congratulations Greatnan on such a collection of Grandchildren and greats, they must have kept you busy over the years! I have just started reading this thread and its good to see such a variety of ages and comments.
I am a relatively new Granny with two small ones and DH and I derive much pleasure from our different 'status'! Older one at 5. 1/2 very excited to be coming "by my own" to stay at half term!
It's good to know there are the experienced ones whom we can call on for advice as ours grow older.....grin

absentgrana Wed 26-Sep-12 10:16:00

fadedglory But the discussions take place on the forum threads and they are then reflected in Being a Gran. confused

harrigran Wed 26-Sep-12 10:55:46

I can't help but think that the next generation thinks we are all very wealthy pensioners, I really would never have dreamt of asking my parents or grandparents if I could borrow money from them. Not all pensioners have large private pensions or money in the bank.

fadedglory Fri 28-Sep-12 09:42:01

Hi Harrigran

I think it's more a case of young people being complete strangers to the practice of saving. I did try to instil this in my children and failed utterly; both daughters borrowed heavily in their youth and didn't pass on thrifty notions to their children.
However at least one of my grandchildren saves regularly now and even one of my daughter's is coming round to the idea of putting a bit away.

But what a shame that interest rates are so abysmal !

annodomini Fri 28-Sep-12 10:03:27

I was flabbergasted when, for the first time ever, I heard my 20-year-old GD use the word 'saving', last week. She has a goal to aim for and has asked for money for her 21st - she wants to go to the US to visit friends who are on placement there.