Casual banter in shops, hotels and restaurants.

I have no problem how I am addressed, with words, given that I am only talking about terms such as love, me duck, or lover where I come from.

I do have a problem how I am addressed if it is done with an attitude which is condescending, aggressive or patronising.

Local dialect is part of our culture, well not only us , all over the world actually. The younger generation will ofcourse make their own phrases and terms up. I really do not think they are showing disrespect to anyone. it simply is how it is.

Nelliemoser my ex MIL called everyone 'duck' (the u pronounced as in 'book') but I never heard her use 'sug' and she was Stoke on Trent born and bred.
My daughters, all born on the south coast, found this very baffling as children and ended up (probably rather rudely, but nanny found it amusing, so no harm) replying with a 'quack, quack'
Having worked with children for many years, I have to confess I have been using 'guys' for years now.
I don't like being referred to by anything that suggests I'm remotely old, so 'dear' is a complete no-no. On the other hand, I find it highly amusing to be called 'young lady' by the elderly patients at work
As to formality, I think those days are gone, which has pluses and minuses, but that's how it rolls

I am getting rather tired of the phrase "Enjoy the rest of your day"! You seem to get it in every shop you go in at the moment ..... obgviously the latest customer service gimmick, taking over from "Thank you for waiting". I'd rather have a comment that showed an interest - even "Where did you get that awful coat?" would probably be preferable.

Hey nelliemoser..Thanks to Adolf Hitler, I was born in Stoke and one of the most common endearments in the Potteries is 'duck'. Not 'me duck' as in Derby though! Potters say, "hiya duck,yoreet?" (translation: hello old thing, how are you?) I agree with Sug pronounced 'shug' though. My Bristolian friend calls her husband 'Hen' - something I found rather bizarre at first. My husband has always called me 'darling' - he has never ever used my name except when referring to me in conversation. What Freudian hang up hides there, does anyone know?

When I was young my friend's father used to greet people with "what fettle hinny" ? Durham coal miner. Bonny lass was fairly common as was bonny lad.

Of course in Waitrose it is "Madam"
In John Lewis the staff were expected to address you by your name as soon as they saw your account card. I know DD learned the hard way by saying (as a joke) "Not related to Nigel Lawson are you? "when she saw the name Lawson on a card, "Well yes, actually" said Lady Lawson somewhat frostily.

In hotels and restaurants it's down to training. I think it's sloppy. In an informal setting - amongst friends and people you know well, it doesn't matter a jot, but I'm getting tired of the culture of sloppiness that is creeping in and becoming accepted. Perhaps I'm oldfashioned.

I really don't mind how people address me. When I first met my father in law he used to call me 'old fruit'.

Gracesmum .
I am going to deviate here for a minute; got talking to the lady who was preparing the house we rented in Spain some years ago and found out she had been to a school near the village where we had lived 25 years before. I mentioned, in passing, our local late 'celebrity' in not particularly polite terms,(always foot in mouth is Gally) only to find out that she was his daughter! (Oliver Reed actually) We became quite good friends strangely!
I don't mind being called duck or hen so long as it's meant in a friendly way but I don't like being referred to by my christian name by some pipsqueak of about 19 who cold-calls and wants to sell me something. It makes me very . I had one recently who asked to talk to MrG and when he asked, rather shirtily, 'is there any very good reason why I can't talk to him?' I had great delight in telling him 'yes, a very good reason - he's dead'. Silence and then he disappeared. Hope he felt bad!

I never know how to respond to the local 'are you all right' and tend to go into my hypochondriac mode and start listing all my ailments . I'd love to be called 'bonny lass'; I think that's a beautiful way to address someone [reminds me of 'When the Boat Comes In' which I'd love to watch again; it's still quite expensive to buy, I think].

crimson I like the term as well, but In Leicester and around there, the word "bonny" implies (or used to 60 odd years ago) a very fat person.

One person's endearment is another's insult!

Gally I have done that too. It doesn't half get rid of them fast.

crimson
the correct response to 'are you alright?' is
'yes I'm good thanks are you'
I have written it without any punctuation because that's how you are supposed to speak the words - without pause or inflexion

I like the Lancashire one: "Ey up!?" (Hey without the h, and the up is oop). To which one replies with the same, or just a grin. Sometimes it's "Ey up, lass/lad".

I say "ey up" it goes down well in Bucks.

Overheard on a trolley bus near Bolton in the 1960's.

First old man in flat cap: Aw reet?
Second old man ditto: Aw reet, Hows tha bin since t'wife died?
First old man: I got a whippet.
Second old man: Ah......
No, I didn't understand it either!

Thank, jane. I'll practice it a few times!

My dad always greeted people with 'How do'.
The response was always 'How do'.
This was Stockport in the 50s.
I haven't heard anyone say that for years.

Greatnan - that appealed to me !

Greatnan

Make perfect sense to me, Greatnan! Iknew an old guy who mentioned that hewas 'cooking a chicken for the old dear'. When questioned if it was for his wife he replied that it was for his greyhound.

@Greatnan : "One of the things I like about France, is that I am always 'Madam'!"

It's a joy to hear French people arguing in a market (for example) with insults galore, always ending in 'Monsieur' and 'Madame' - always made me laugh, anyway.

"I never minded 'dear' or 'love' in England."

No - and when I hear people complaining about familiar and friendly forms f address, I always think 'get over yourself, Lady Muck...'

My dad used to say 'I don't mind what you call me, as long as it's not late for my dinner'.

My friend and I went to a computershop to buy her a laptop. I came as an advisor as she hadn't a clue. The first salesman that spoke to us was a 17 yr old male who decided he woud sell something to thse 'two old dears' and kept addressing us as such. I told him we were just looking and he disappeared. Once we had checked all the laptops she had a good idea what she wanted an another salesman came across (older) and he wanted to pass us back to the youngster. I told him we would not be dealing with him as he was too condesending (sp?). I also talked to the manager and told him to train this youngster in politeness or he would be loosing sales! It was the way he spoke more than the actual words.
Australians often use 'doll' or 'darl'

No problem. Having lived in Canada for 45 years I find it quite normal. At first I couldn't understand why girls were addressed a guys but "what the heck"!So I always say ÿou guys to my Dutch/Canadian grandchildren. They don't seem to mind, because their mother (my daughter) born in Montreal uses that expression
having married a Dutchman (like me). So many multicultural families nowadays that slang is universal.