Families are all different.
It depends how your DiL says these 'put downs'
My family are all close and love each other but even from early ages we have really ribbed each other and used 'put downs' but in an affectionate way! I know to some people hearing us may be shocked or concerned but we really are a confident and happy bunch !
It is not always a terrible thing,.. unless it is done with real anomosity or to hurt each other.
I know families who are really lovely to each other, polite etc etc - who are really not close at all.
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