My MIL has many positive qualities, but has always made it clear she doesn't like me and I am not good enough for her DS. She is very self centred and thinks we all want to hear endless tales of her past and gossip about everyone she knew from 60 years ago or so. she is also unpleasant and vindictive and makes unwelcome racist remarks about neighbours, doctors etc She also chain smokes and is very grumpy that we make her smoke outside when she visits us. she is in por health, probably because of the smoking and drinking but would never admit it. I do feel sorry for her as she is lonely with most of her friends and siblings dead, and few want to visit as the smoking means her house is an unpleasant place to sit for any length of time. I feel guilty that I don't visit her and when we have her over to our house I mostly sit with gritted teeth while she regales us with wartime stories centred around her or her latest unpleasant rant. My lack of help/visiting I know is more grist to her mill but should I just pretend I wish to listen to her on the grounds she is lonely and old ? My DH does take her shopping at weekends and her DDs do have her to stay, but I am the only one around on weekdays so what would you do? It's no point challenging her on the racism or unpleasant gossip as she would never admit to being in the wrong or apologise for any of the unpleasant things he has said to me in the past.
