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To get out of the lift if a man gets in and there would be only us two in?

(18 Posts)
bikergran Sun 28-Oct-12 09:10:23

I have come across this a few times (hospitals, shopping malls etc) buti f I was in a lift (which isnt often) and I was the only one in and a male got in..then I would get straight back out, I would feel uncomfortable being trapped in a lft with a complete stranger.(unless it was a really old gent)! and then I would take my chance. When I used to go shopping when I was a lot younger (many moons ago) there was a lift up and down to the shops......this older man used to sit in the lift on a stool in a uniform he stayed in the lift and worked the buttons..he always looked creepy!

crimson Sun 28-Oct-12 09:27:11

Many years ago my mum lived in a block of flats and we had to use the lift [I very rarely use lifts as I get a bit claustrophobic]. Whenever I left she used to lecture me on being careful, going straight to my car, locking the car dor as soon as I got in; not stopping for anyone etc etc. I used to think she was being a total fusspot. Anyway, a few weeks after she died a relative sent me a press cutting about someone who she thought I might know. It was my mums next door neighbour. In her late eighties, I'd only spoken to her a couple of times but was amazed at how tolerant she was of just about everyone [most people I knew of her age being rather prejudiced against just about everyone; race/age etc]. The article was about her. She'd got into the lift and a young man had followed her in. He stopped her getting off at her floor [it was a multi storey block of flats] made the lift go to the top, stripped her clothes off and either raped or tried to rape her. I never heard from her again; it didn't kill her at the time but I don't think she lived for much longer. The unfairness of it has never left me and it also frightens me to think that, when I was clearing out mum's flat I had the door open the whole time and was going out to the car via the lift constantly. Had this not happened, my reply to what you wrote biker would have been 'of course it wouldn't bother me; what could someone do to you in a lift?'

whenim64 Sun 28-Oct-12 10:10:21

Such an awful story crimson but fortunately, it's a very rare occurrence and most men are not like that offender. When I used to visit our probation head office, we had a choice of 6 lifts to our offices, in the middle of a multi-story building. One morning I got in the lift and was joined by a young man who was going to the top floor. It broke down (the doors were stuck and we didn't even move) and and we spent the next hour in each other's company. When he became aware that I was going to the probation floor, he started to tell me that he had been a 'wrong un' in the past, but had turned his life around and now had a job with the PR company in that building. He asked me questions about why I wanted to be a PO, and just before we got out, when the lift was moving again, disclosed he had committed an armed robbery. I saw him a few times after that morning, and he would joke 'oh, I'm not getting in a lift with you again!

absentgrana Sun 28-Oct-12 10:10:43

It's never crossed my mind but I don't use lifts very often and those I do use tend to be crowded and busy ones in stations and shops.

Ella46 Sun 28-Oct-12 10:15:52

I like to think that any man who got in a lift with me, would be more afraid than I would be.

crimson Sun 28-Oct-12 10:17:46

I must admit that one of the main reasons I don't use lifts is the fear of them breaking down, because I know if that happened I'd end up desperate for a loo blush.

nightowl Sun 28-Oct-12 10:31:14

crimson I agree with your point about getting stuck; a few years ago I got stuck in the lift in the old tk max in Nottingham (I'm sure you know where I mean) and it was very frightening. I was on my own in there and pressed the alarm over and over again with no response. I could hear the alarm sounding on the shop floor but no one came. I also hammered on the doors to no avail. I was in a right old panic and ended up prising the doors open with my fingertips and thankfully I was not between floors. I complained but was not taken at all seriously. Not sure whether I would have felt better or worse if there had been a man in there with me- I suppose it would depend on the man.

petallus Sun 28-Oct-12 10:48:29

What about those trains we used to have with compartments but no corridor. Once the train was moving you were trapped with whoever else was in there with you.

tanith Sun 28-Oct-12 11:07:09

Can't say its ever bothered me and I used a lot of lifts when I was busy working, never had a 'moment', when I felt uncomfortable either ... I think it would be a very rare occurance for something to happen.. I only ever got stuck once( in those 20 odd years) but had a colleague with me, and the firemen that came and helped us climb out were rather dishy grin

Ana Sun 28-Oct-12 11:12:28

Yes, those compartment trains! Of course, there was always the communication cord.

Elegran Sun 28-Oct-12 11:40:01

Communication cords were introduced for exactly that reason.

Mind you, if you were pinned to the floor with a sixteen stone man on top of you, it could be a bit difficult to pull the cord.

Greatnan Sun 28-Oct-12 11:47:48

No, I wouldn't get out - I would be afraid of insulting the man. The huge majority of men are not thieves and rapists. I don't live my life expecting men to mistreat me and so far it has worked! I am often asked if I am afraid of being assaulted on my mountain walks and the answer is 'No'
I am claustrophobic, so I do try to avoid lifts. If I got stuck and nobody responded to the alarm, I would sue.
The fear of crime is excessive in older people and is not justified by the figures. Young men between 16 and 25 are far more likely to be victims.

crimson Sun 28-Oct-12 11:56:29

Still best to err on the side of caution in some situations though, I fear. Of course, we do have mobile phones these days, which are a help. Can always get one out and start chatting to someone if you're in a worrying situation. [says I who uses mine once in a blue moon].

granjura Sun 28-Oct-12 12:08:08

Simple answer, no. It wouldn't even cross my mind.

Nelliemoser Sun 28-Oct-12 12:31:50

I think I would try to look and see if he looked shifty before deciding to go. That is a totally irrational, unscientific and probably completely useless way to do things I know!

NfkDumpling Sun 28-Oct-12 12:41:10

*Greatnan. I agree. It would seem most insulting. It hadn't actually occurred to me before to get out.

crimson Sun 28-Oct-12 12:43:33

I suppose it depends on the time and the circumstances. The car park we use when we go to the cinema for example; I wouldn't use the lift there at the best of times, and certainly wouldn't use it at night.

whenim64 Sun 28-Oct-12 12:59:51

Yes, you're right *crimson.' There are some lifts I would hesitate to get in, too, depending on where they are, what time of day and who else was there.