I think there is a deeper issue here (BTW I agree with all the others - you are NOT being unreasonable, but women's priorities are often different - family first and everybody else, including self, a long way down the list) However, to get back to what I was saying.......when some people retire they are terrified of the emptiness of their lives and need to establish a "routine" so that they don't feel adrift. Add into that mix, the increasing inflexibility of age and it can become toxic. My father in his latter years - OK he was in his late 80's and widowed - had a rigid routine each day and heaven help anybody who disturbed it! If I was driving up to visit,(7+ hours) I had to say exactly when I would be there and not coincide with meals. With hindsight I can see thatt it was his way of coping with living alone and without his routine he would have been lost as Mum, when she was alive, had organised everything for him.
When we work, we have a ready made pattern into which we slot our leisure activities and no one questions that, but when we have control of our own time, it can be hard.For instance, DD's FIL who is the loveliest man in every other respect, is a dedicated Notts County supporter to the point where when they were playing at home on Boxing day 2 years ago, he and DD's MIL wouldn't go over to them for Christmas. I find that hard to accept as I don't have anything in my life which is allowed to come before the family (not really) maybe I should? But that's Mums. So No you are not BU, but in his funny way, maybe he is understandable.