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To expect someone to change a routine once in a while.

(29 Posts)
Nelliemoser Mon 29-Oct-12 15:20:05

To expect DH to give up some activities once in a while to visit newish GS a couple of hours away. DH has only 3 spare half days a week as he has fully booked himself with day and evening activities. So at 1:30pm today he announced he might try to visit this afternoon. (No previous discussion with DD.)

SIL now back at work and I want to try to give them weekends free.

Weekends could be an option but DH has many of themfilled as well. It’s ok going for a day trip but a bit much for just an afternoon.

My suggestion was to try another day when all he has on is a 2hr individual sporting activity he could give up without missing anything much. But no, that could not be given up!

I have been over to visit on days that suit me, but as he won’t give up any of these activities even for this I am not putting myself out.

Yes! It’s being childish but after years of this problem gradually increasing I can’t be bothered anymore. I can’t see a solution.

Some suggestions please!

Nelliemoser Fri 02-Nov-12 14:35:36

Just an update on this. On Monday when DH had said he couldn't visit DD this Friday. I decided to keep the day free as well as there was stuff I really needed to do at home.

This morning I went off weekly shopping at 9ish. then drove to the carpet shop to get some samples for a newly decorated room. When my mobile rang I stopped, parked up and called DH back. This was 10:30 am.

"Oh" says DH, "what time were you planning to going to go to DDs". "I know I said I wanted to go to table tennis."

"Oh!" said I. If I had gone it would have been much earlier than this, but you didnt want to give up your table tennis!" I then ended the call.

Just after lunch he raised the subject again.

"I though't you had arranged to go" said he!

"No" said I "You were being awkward about not wanting to drop your table tennis."

"Well it would have been a good opportunity" says he!

I can tell you Gransnetters, that I remained calm! Not one Very Very Rude Word left my lips. (While he was in the house.)

I did though do my best to make it quite clear that I was not taking any responsiblity for this fiasco that I felt it was his fault for pratting about and not mine.

Until the next time then!. angry

Ana Fri 02-Nov-12 14:39:55

Very well handled, Nelliemoser - perhaps, just perhaps, something will register this time! smile

SJP Sun 04-Nov-12 18:40:03

I gave up with my DH years ago and just do my own thing he can come or not the choice is his. He is the one missing out on family life, and watching his grandchildren (all 8 of them) blossom. I look back and wonder what memories they will have of him. Probably of an old man who disappears up the pub at lunch time, who comes home and then reads the paper, before falling asleep.