Can I have a rage please?

specki I'm sure you have the skills, but it's always easier to think of what you could or should have done afterwards. Hindsight is marvellous!

yes it is pulling the skills out of the hat at the right moment that is tricky.
When one of my DS was a really trying teenager and I was trying to cope on my own (and only in my mid 30s) my mother (who was a highly experienced counsellor btw, was no help at all)
Me: X is really getting me down
Her: Ah, poor X.
Bad answer. Criticising him would, also have been a bad answer. But 25 yrs later I still resent her lack of support for me at that moment

Ouch! JessM, couldn't help identifying with your mother there. I used to say that kind of thing to my daughter.

In the end I trained myself not to think like a psychogist/counsellor with the family. Or I should say, I thought like it but didn't say it.

Yes you can never stop that bit of your brain working I guess.
Well I think her counselling skills were not working on that occasion. I was furious with her because what I needed a bit of support/empathy/sympathy or something not to have her sympathising with GS1.
On other occasions I had to tell her to butt out, e,g, "But surely you must have been jealous of your little sister!"
Oh and then there was:
Me "You need to stop interfering " (re GS1)
Her "I'm not!"
Me "Well what do you call sending off for college prospectuses then?"
She was a bit overly besotted with GS1 , it has to be said.
In truth, she never had enough supervision!!!!
I can laugh about it now. Just about. She has been gone a long time.

Jess I find it hard , as a grandmother, to know when I'm interfering and when I'm just trying to be helpful.
Eg DGD was refusing (at age 2y 8m) to have anything to do with DS and DDil's attempts at potty training.
I refrained from saying what I thought (ie that if they had tried a few months before, DGD might have been more compliant and willing to please) and merely asked if I could send her a book about it.
Was that ok do you think? The book was apparently well-received. I was lucky to find one in American, ie it talked about diapers, pee-pee and poop

Peepee and poop?

Wee and poo to you Jeni
My DGD is American.

Will I completely destroy my street-cred if I admit to a singing potty?
'hi there big kid, welcome back, you're so smart you're right on track, settle down and concentrate, going potty's just so great!' Yuk!!

The end justifies the means Nanad

If you say so jane [grin ]

Do you mean urine and faeces.

And are you saying YOU USE a singing potty?

And if I did ???????

Just hope it's singing opera. La Donna est mobile?

jeni

La donna è mobile qual piuma al vento, muta d'accento e di pensiero

Woman is fickle , like feather in the wind!
'Oh my beloved father!
He ,loved me tenderly'
He loved that song.
I was brought up to boheme, Carmen, rigoletto,
Grieg in a minor and Rachmaninov. The aunts used to play the 'battered bride'(sic) by Smetna.

I find 'Oh, my beloved father' depressing, as my father never showed me any affection. (I got lots of love from my mother and older sister and brother, though).

Could I please make a humble request?

Will those using Latin or other foreign languages give an English translation underneath?

That way I won't have to ask my clever friend for a translation.

jeni you have reminded me of 'O my Papa, to me he was so wonderful, o my Papa to me he was so........SENIOR MOMENT ALERT! can't remember the rest of it anymore but I used to love the sentiment it expressed. Anyone?

I do remember we used to sing ' Oh my papa, I wish he'd go and drown himself'.

I don't think we had a second line.

Woman is flighty, like a feather in the wind, she changes in voice and in thought.
petallus

To me he was so good.

Thanks Nanadog