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AIBU

AIBU to think my mum-in-law should have given us more notice of her visit?

(63 Posts)
merlotgran Fri 01-Mar-13 15:34:50

Well said, gracesmum. A few days notice is enough, surely, unless you're about to leave for a holiday or have the plague.

gracesmum Fri 01-Mar-13 15:32:26

Like many other grannies I know, I happily rearrange my entire life for the chance of seeing either any of the DDs or the DGC. "Not convenient"? It's your DH's mother for heaven'sake, does she need to make an appointment? What goes around comes around. "If theres' room in the heart, there's room in the home"

Orca Fri 01-Mar-13 15:21:08

That's it GK .. just throw in a few more tatties, or extra bread or vegetables etc. And there's always a spare room and a made-up bed. If folk don't like how we do it then they needn't bother coming again. But most do.

Bags Fri 01-Mar-13 15:20:32

The spare bed in our house is always made up clean and ready for unexpected visitors. The fact that it's usually also loaded up with my patchwork fabrics and quilting projects is neither here nor there wink.

Grannyknot Fri 01-Mar-13 15:14:51

Orca you're so right, whatever happened to "pot luck", laying an extra place at the table etc. I don't care who comes to my house whenever.

I'm in Spain (till tomorrow, sob) and my husband was with me here for the first ten days, then went back to London for work. He was practically on his way out of here to leave for London when our son sent an email to say he'd be coming to ours for dinner that night "if that's okay" and would it be all right if he brought 2 friends? Husband said "Urgh" then "Sure" then "Seeing as I'm going to be cooking for 4 of us, why don't you invite XXX (another friend of ours) because his wife is away?" By all accounts they had a lovely evening although husband said he collapsed into bed exhausted once the young 'uns had all left. Makes life interesting.

Orca Fri 01-Mar-13 15:02:24

grannyknot I'm with you on this. Love visitors though if they descend at short notice must take as they find.....actually that's not true, they always have to take as they find no matter what the notice.

JessM Fri 01-Mar-13 14:46:58

She does sound a bit old fashioned. Or is she a bit scared that if she calls, you will put her off OP?
It is not easy for many being a MIL.
Or (for most of us) being 100s of miles from your GKds.
Then there are other GMs would not bother to make the trip, they's expect to be visited.

Grannyknot Fri 01-Mar-13 14:41:27

I must be the easiest going person in the world. I'd probably be irritated about this for about 2 seconds, and then think "oh well, poor old thing, what's a day/afternoon out of my life" and then get on with my day and make some plans for accommodating her visit 2 days from now. Unless of couse I absolutely detested her and she intended to stay for months.

I quite like surprise visits - from mostly anyone!

glassortwo Fri 01-Mar-13 14:34:41

Why does this thread and Bermeir ring a bell with me, off to school will have to look later.

Bags Fri 01-Mar-13 14:32:57

Is she only visiting you, or is she on her way to or from somewhere else and fitting trying to fit you in?

Bags Fri 01-Mar-13 14:31:38

How much notice does she usually give? How long is she staying? Does she hate telephones? Does she usually write a letter? Did it have a first class stamp on it? How old is she? If you're cross about it perhaps you can think of a reason why it's inconvenient (though you don't actually have to give a reason).

Can't really tell if you're being unreasonable without more info.

LullyDully Fri 01-Mar-13 14:29:14

She should have phoned surely. You ask about if a visit is convenient and should never assumes you can just turn up Amazing ,

Bermeir Fri 01-Mar-13 13:47:35

She lives several hundred miles away. A letter arrived TODAY saying that she was going to visit us on sunday (!) and to ring if 'not convenient'. I am thoroughly hacked off with her about this. AIBU? I mean, why only a few days notice, why a LETTER and not what normal person would do and phone (email, even).