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sitting arrangements at a wedding

(37 Posts)
Greatnan Mon 29-Apr-13 14:18:15

I often wonder if vicars are taught that special preachy voice or if they are born with it!
It seems to me that there are only two options open to OldGirl - either go and put up with the bride's seating plan, which probably cost her many hours of worry,or make an excuse and don't attend.

JessM Mon 29-Apr-13 13:58:30

The vicar that got no stars from me kept the whole congregation standing throughout the wedding service (you could only see the hat in front) and intoned the whole thing in one of those voices that Derek Nimmo did so we-e-ell.

gracesmum Mon 29-Apr-13 12:57:17

Went to a rather grand wedding some years ago (son of cousins) and the seating plan had been put together with rather naff magnetic lettering on a board on the way into the wedding breakfast. There had been a certain shall we say "needle" between bride's parents and our cousins and we saw that the groom's i.e. "our" side of the family had been split up and was all over the place.
So.........we just moved ourselves around on the plan so that we were all at the same table and went and sat down. That way we enjoyed the meal and the interminable speeches. grin
At our own DD's wedding a very beautiful seating plan had been designed by DDs 2 and 3 and my job was tying tiny little luggage labels with the names stencilled on in gold round wine glass stems!

janeainsworth Mon 29-Apr-13 12:54:31

Absent excellent ideagrinThe pastor at my niece's wedding opened the ceremony by saying how nice it was to see us all and how lovely we all looked. Then he turned to my niece and said 'You don't look bad either, Zoe!'

JessM Mon 29-Apr-13 12:07:44

I agree Merlot. But the meal and speeches sometimes go on for ever tanith.
I think there is a case for mixing up immediate family so that they can get to know each other e.g. mothers of couple. Beyond that hmm
Getting stuck having to make small talk with someone you'll never meet again feels like (hard) work to me. Very tedious - you can only talk to the 2 people next to you as beyond that you end up bellowing. If you happen to hit it off you are lucky but it can be purgatory. A few months ago at a charity dinner got stuck next to a woman whose only interest seemed to be the local soccer team. She asked me no questions about myself and I couldn't even get a conversation going about the Olympics.

tanith Mon 29-Apr-13 11:26:11

At most weddings we've been to the once the meal and speechs are done everyone just moves around the room chatting to whom they like.. there isn't anything written in stone that says you have to stay put. I've enjoyed getting to know the other family and friends that I otherwise wouldn't know from Adam.. I can't imagine making a fuss when its such a problematic thing to deal with .

merlotgran Mon 29-Apr-13 11:20:35

I hate all this splitting families up nonsense at weddings. Most of the guests have travelled a long way and gone to the expense of staying in B&Bs etc. I don't want to sit and make small talk with strangers, I'd much rather chat to close members of my own family because we only see them two or three times a year. My niece got it spot on at her wedding. Each branch of the family had their own table for the whole afternoon and evening.

I find modern weddings an ordeal anyway. They're like Hollywood productions now.

absent Mon 29-Apr-13 11:07:11

oldgirl2 I think splitting up the family members in this way is pretty standard practice at weddings. I don't think there is any reason to think that your family has been singled out and become the "fall guys". After all, when you have dinner guests you don't sit husbands and wives next to or opposite each other or each other because you want the guests to get to know each other. This is the same kind of thing. I'm sure that your hosts had no intention of upsetting you.

janeainsworth We too sat with the vicar who conducted the wedding service and his delightful wife at the last family wedding we went to. He was much amused by my idea of a revver chart whereby I award gold stars to those men of the cloth who are interesting, amusing, make everyone feel welcome, add a personal touch to the service etc.

MiceElf Mon 29-Apr-13 10:37:41

It happens! The bestthing to do is go enjoy the dinner, listen to and laugh at end clapp the speeches. And then circulate. You can leave the unknowns politely, although, if you brush up on good conversation openers the people you don't know might turn out to be really good dinner companions.

janeainsworth Mon 29-Apr-13 10:35:49

Welcome old girl
As both my DDs have been married, I can vouch for the fact that the seating plan is one of the most difficult things to sor out and get right.
I think as a guest your duty is to go with the flow.
At my niece's wedding I was alarmed to see we were not sitting with anyone we knew, and indeed were placed next to the pastor who had conducted the service. But we had a great time and it turned out that his wife had worked with my very dear late cousin, and it was lovely to talk to someone who had known him.
If you have been to many modern weddings you will know that they seem to go on ad infinitum ad nauseam - you will have lots of time to talk to your son sunshine

petra Mon 29-Apr-13 10:31:10

Well, as I don't like weddings this would be a wonderful excuse to get out of it.

oldgirl2 Mon 29-Apr-13 10:28:05

My bh and I are going to his nieces wedding with our son and girlfriend, at the reception we have been split up and put on a table with people we don't know although they all friends together. Our son and girlfriend have also been sat with strangers, a group of similar aged guests who are all friends together. Other families have all been sat together, so I guess we are the fall guys. This has really disappointed us as we don't see son much (he works down south), am I being unreasonable?
This is my very first post and don't know what to expect smile