renewing marriage vows

Gagagran we had fun did n' t we?!

Local church Sel!!!

The future in-laws happily coughed up for my wedding. (Yes, I know! I was a good girl then)

You brought to mind my own wedding there jings. I had just set off down the aisle on my Dad's arm and was brought to a sudden stop as my 9-year old cousin, the smallest bridesmaid, was stood on my long floaty veil. That jerked my head back and almost dislodged my crystal tiara - hence why it looks skew-whiff on the photographs!

Westminster - Abbey or Cathedral choir j08?

I had a great time on my wedding day, even if I nearly tripped over my frock which brought on a fit of the giggles, for me and the choir boys.

Hespian - naming ceremonies for babies are quite a different idea. It's a non religious way of welcoming the baby and that's a lovely thing to do if you don't have a christening . It's like a humanist funeral ( but at the other end of course)

That must be why I can't remember much about my married life

I can't remember what I said either, absent. I do remember that I meant it at the time though, whatever it was. I'm talking about the second time. My memory of the first time is a blank. My parents were at that, whereas two of my daughters were at the second. Somehow that added to the solemnity of the occasion whereas I can't remember that having parents there did.

Actually, having my parents there might have done the opposite since they'd said they wouldn't come if my aunt (my mother's sister) came too. Sigh. Whatever the feud was about it had nothing to do with me. I had to tell my aunt what they'd said. She stayed away.

So perhaps it's not surprising I don't remember much about the occasion . Motivated memory loss!

My parents renewed their vows at a ceremony to coincide with the Queen's golden wedding anniversary. They were married the same year as her, and like many similar couple's, were invited to renew their vows at the Church they were married in. They also got pieces of the Queen's cake. It was a lovely day, they were in their 80's and dad becoming a bit frail. We had a celebration tea at their house, food provided by their 3 daughter's and with grandchildren and great grandchildren joining us. Special memories for all of us.

We were given a choice of promises to make but they all fitted the legal stuff in. We had readings and music but they couldn't be religious.

www.rbkc.gov.uk/communityandlocallife/marriages/yourmarriagevows.aspx

You can add more as j08 says but the registrar has to approve them first.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/10153004/In-sickness-and-in-health-Thats-too-religious-for-a-civil-wedding.html

My DD was a guest at the above wedding !!

I think you can make them up yourself in a registrar's office. (They can go on, and on, and on )

I can't actually remember what vows we made when we got married. Do you do the till death bit in a register office? If so, I've already done that twice in the same register office, but with different husbands 20 years apart.

We do not do anniversaries publicly never mind renew vows! I got married to please my mum who would have found it difficult if DH and I had lived together without a wedding. 42 years on, 2DDs and 4DGCs I don't want to renew vows that I did not really believe in the first place.

I am happy to celebrate anniversaries of our life together with my DH over a lovely meal, sometimes a few days away ..though we were often on a summer holiday anyway ..... but even on 'special' anniversaries no-one else is involved, it is our marriage!

My cousin had a renewal of her & OH's vows,I think maybe she had forgotten how he had quite a few affairs during their 30yrs of marriage I think it was a display by him of how well I am doing financially and hoping everyone had short memories,but I do agree with a renewal when you acheive say 40/50 yrs as that in its self is something to celebrate.

We don't have time to contemplate organising such a thing - which in my eyes is a validation of a set of vows made nearly 43 years ago. We had a big family 'do' when we had been married 40 years and will, no doubt, have another when/if we reach 50.

Unless one is particularly religious then it strikes me as self indulgent when, at least in our case, we have births, birthdays, weddings enough to celebrate without looking for another occasion! We will celebrate our 43 years, good and bad, together, on our own.

Me too Jingle.... must have my bumps read as my Gran used to say, that's TWICE I've agreed with you in one day
Usually when celebs renew their vows its because one or the other has 'strayed' hrmph!
Bad day for me too Nellie

I think they're embarrassing. What all about the rows, broken promises, sulks and thoughtless acts that are part and parcel of most successful marriages. Do they get celebrated as well?

I'm with jingle.....Yucky.

nina More money than sense?
that bags With the benefits of hindsight and experience sticking to such vows can be stupidity. Mutter mutter grump grump! I am having a bad day or 365.

Is there more than one way to interpret 'death' in till death us...?
Such as death of the marriage.

Is a vow the same as a promise? Can promises be broken in certain circumstances?

Are registry office vows/promises the same as church ones? Are all church ones the same regardless of denomination or religion?

I think it is sometimes having the 'do' that they didn't have the first time. For some it's the event rather than the meaning behind the event that's important.

A friend and her hubby renewed their vows for their 10th anniversary it was a quiet affair, just 20 guests. My friend wore the type of outfit she would have chosen had she been a guest. There were no bridesmaids or flowers. She then had a buffet in her garden. Not something I would do but it was a lovely day.

On the other hand her daughter went to her friends 'renewal' yesterday. They had the whole caboodle all £10,000 worth !!! why ???

When so many marriages break up I can understand a couple wanting to celebrate that their marriage as lasted over 25 years and that they still think they made the right decision.

Having said that, I made vows 'until death do us part' and as far as I am concerned that says all that needs to be said and I feel no need to repeat it.

I also fail to see the point of renewing your marriage vows, unless of course you have broken them. My vows still mean what they did the day I made them! By all means have a party and celebrate a big anniversary, inviting family and friends who may want to celebrate with you.

Maybe I'm just becoming a grumpy old woman but I also fail to see the point of "naming ceremonies" for babies!

I'm with MrsMopp and others - it "sounds" a lovely romantic thing to do but why? I think Harrigran has hit the nail on the head - reliving the day (without the stress!) As for the expense of being a guest - I just wouldn't do that. Send a card, maybe flowers if you feel appropriate but this is going too far.
I can see exceptions, e.g. Vampirequeen's aunt and uncle, but it is a private decision and a diplomatic previous engagement might be the solution.