Christmas tree conflict!

Sounds like he does not "do" medication either.

Mr P isn't on any form of medication, so that's not a problem. However he doesn't "do" puddings or deserts, and if I was to put it in curry, casserole or dumplings then I would be having it too!

Might not be a good combo with Dosulepin.

Is it St John's Wort that can react with sunlight on your skin? Or am I thinking of something else.

I once put some Bach Flower Remedy Mustard (for 'deep gloom for no apparent reason') into MrA's morning orange juice.
You have to be a bit careful with St Johns Wort I think, as it can interact with some prescription drugs.

I have always found the sight of the Christmas tree very comforting, even when Christmas has been a sad one, for whatever reason.
I know it's a relatively modern tradition but it seems to symbolise the peace and goodwill of Christmas.
Put it up Phoenix, I hope MrP cheers up soon.

Title for a cookbook - "Wort Cuisine" or "How to con your nearest and dearest into taking medicine"

Curried St John's Wort and rice? St John's Wort casserole with dumplings? (there's an idea, put it in the dumplings) Jam rolypoly with St John's Wort custard?

Mr P would regard both with deep suspicion!

Might be a bit hard to smuggle it into a bit of toast and marmite!

If you can manage to get muesli down him you have achieved the impossible! Dh would never eat muesli or such things, though I did persuade him to have a little fruit yoghurt occasionally.

Again, thanks to all who have responded.

I know I shouldn't, but I did laugh janerowena at your post about grinding St John's Wort and adding it to your husbands muesli!

Now all I have to do is to somehow persuade Mr P to eat muesli!

I haven't decided about the tree yet myself. (For one thing I'm not sure which safe place we put it in last year!) Normally I love putting it up, but this has been such a bad month so far - DH has now got a horrible virus and doesn't want to get involved in anything. I've put up a few odds and ends of decorations to show willing and perhaps I'll feel more Christmassy by next weekend.

Do get that tree up, phoenix. It's a signal to everyone that you are still up and running.

Even on my own, I put up a little mini tree with white lights and silver tinsel. It cheers me up when I have yet another weekend without seeing anyone except when I go out to the shops. That and Strictly, of course.

They say that men are more likely to suffer from SAD than women. He did try to stop it with exercise, and as he used to be down by mid November and now it's mid december it must work, but just not enough for my liking. Depression is vile for the person, but also debilitating for the partner who lives with them and cares for them.

Stick your cards on the wall with blutack in a tree shape?

DBh is very down today, he slumps now, at the end of term and will be vile until next summer. He had a major paddy as he finished the tree and he won't take any medication either. Every year we have this and every time it twists my stomach even though I know it's going to happen. Has he tried St.John's Wort? It works on DBH but he says it makes him a little slower in his reactions at work, so he isn't keen and has refused to touch it this year.

I know it works, because on a few occasions when I have been desperate I have ground it up and put it in his muesli. I know I shouldn't and I'm not proud of it, but it works and gives my brain a break. Tesco do it the cheapest, currently three packs for the price of two, you need two tablets really.

I would say as you have everything in the loft already why not put up the tree?
Christmas is not about spending lots of money and buying enough food to feed an army. But you already know this.. Phoenix

Definitely go for the tree.

I admire your positive attitude in the face of your current difficulties.

Last year I didn't put up the tree because I thought as it was just me it wasn't worth it! Christmas was OK but I did miss the tree - today I have spent an hour putting it together and decorating it and it is now lit and looking great!

When you are feeling down you do need to push a little bit harder to do things, if I were you I would put up the tree, maybe when he sees you doing it he will join in!

You seem to be up against the original unmoveable object, Phoenix. I don't know what else you can do, short of getting a double supply of anti-depressants for yourself and slipping him them as a Mickey Finn once a day. There is probably a law against that.

Phoenix do put the tree up it sounds as if it will be lovely. It doesn't have to go up for other people to enjoy, just for you, and perhaps Mr P will secretly like it.Christmas can be a painful time for many people and for various reasons, but a well lit and decorated tree is a pleasure to behold and is bound to make you feel slightly better rather than worse.It's also a bit of a sign of defiance, that life will go on isn't it?

Elegan did that before, he agreed to see the GP, I made the appointment, and come the day he quite calmly refused to go. Totally immovable. In the end I went myself, explained all etc, GP tried every trick in the book, letters saying he was due a routine healthcheck for BP etc, nothing doing!

Soutra I don't think it's a case of avoiding false jollity, we usually have Christmas day on our own (and enjoy our own little habits and traditions, ok so there won't be an exchange of presents, but I don't see that as a major problem) so in most respects the way we spend Christmas day will not be very different from last year.

Although short term things are a bit dire, we have both had positive responses to job applications, although they have all said nothing will happen with regard to interviews etc until the New Year, not surprised as a lot of companies seem to go into semi hibernation at this time.

The alcohol fuelled bit that you suggest may be a tad more difficult to achieve though! Last year Asda's own label Cava at around £3.49 a bottle was a great success!

Another suggestion mught be to sit down and discuss the way forward - ignore the Christmas angle, that has clearly heightened awareness but clearly there is more to it than that. If he really cannot face false jollity and you can't/don't want to be brutal, is there any way you could both do something else to take you away from it? Hiking on Dartmoor? Volunteering at a local Care Home/refuge? Or could you enlist heklp from friendsss - I found that when DH was going through a the worst for a couple of days and somehow back into habits of communication - even it not always with me.
I think you have too much on your plate to be tackling this alone. Maybe "whisting a happy tune" will do it ,but it sounds as if you might need some help.
(But put the tree up anyway unless it truly provokes WW III)

Elegran - good advice as usual. phoenix - shall we send the grans round to cheer him up

I was dreading putting up our tree this year because the grandchildren (who usually help) are now overseas. However, I just made it a bit different (used only the top bit) and went for a more sophisticated look. (all stuff we had already.) I then posted a picture on Facebook to show my grandchildren and we had a glass of sherry to celebrate. It looks lovely and we both felt quite cheered by it. You can't really avoid Christmas so you might as well try to enjoy it.

Is it time to stop being understanding, and give him a bollocking for not doing something positive like making a doctor's appointment? This can't go on! Could you tell him that if not, you will make him the appointment unilaterally, as it is damaging your health to have him suffer without taking action?