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Christmas tree conflict!

(87 Posts)
Anne58 Sat 14-Dec-13 17:17:28

Thank you all for the responses.

Elegran you are right, I think he does have depression, but of course he will not go to our lovely GP. (I'm still currently on anti depressants, cut down a while ago from 2 a day to 1, really felt the difference so back on 2) As for the other suggestion/implication, don't get me started, that's a whole new bloody ball game. tchsad

He is not one to discuss things much, and today I have been nearly tearing my hair out, so sick of making odd bits of conversation and getting one word answers.

Galen Sat 14-Dec-13 17:07:56

Just been decorating mine! Don't know why I'm bothering as they're only coming Christmas Eve after lunch and leaving after a quick lunch snack the next day! Still it's up and lit!

LizG Sat 14-Dec-13 17:03:50


merlotgran Sat 14-Dec-13 17:01:53

Go for it, phoenix. All three tiers and as much glitter as you can find in the loft. Plenty of free greenery to be found outside as well. The most miserable Christmas I have ever had was when I told myself it was going to be bleak....and it was. I'll never make that mistake again. Your DH might be hoping you'll put a positive spin on everything because he wants to enjoy it but not willingly.

Soutra Sat 14-Dec-13 17:01:21

PS maybe not take Elegran's advice too literally - unless you want to be back on here in February asking for advice on a late pregnancy! grin
That is a good point though - is Mr P sinking into depression with a capital "D"? Good luck!

glammanana Sat 14-Dec-13 17:00:43

phoenix Last year we did not bother with a Christmas tree we just put up some trimmings etc as we where spending the day at DDs and just couldn't see the point really but hey ! we missed it so so much and this pm we have just put it up for this year in time for DS1s birthday to-morrow I was shocked as to how bare the apartment looked even though it is smallish compared to our former family home,have another go at trying to kick start the festive spirit in him I'm sure he will enjoy it once it's up and if not don't let it spoil your enjoyment of your roast & gammon.wineflowers

Soutra Sat 14-Dec-13 16:58:17

He's clearly in a Bah Humbug mood and it is hard not to feel dragged down by that. As you say, it doesn't cost you a penny and sitting in stygian non-festive gloom is not going to do anything to brighten the economic position so I would have a strop, tell him the above and then do what the heck I/you want.
Tell him you want to call a truce to the current economic situation, enjoy what you have got (enough alcohol and a black-backed gull could provide a feast!) - think of that wonderful Good Life episode with the home made crackers and party hats!! For entirely different reasons DH is similarly underwhelmed by the festive season at the moment and I find I am losing momentum, but am trying not to let it get to me!! The motivaton may well have to be alcohol fuelled.

So crack open the mulled wine/Baileys/cooking sherry and jolly well insist that he files his misery away until after at least Boxing Day, tchgrin

Elegran Sat 14-Dec-13 16:57:33

I would have the tree, the decorations, all the trimmings, Phoenix. They won't cost a penny, they were all bought and paid for long ago, so you can have the pleasure of them free gratis and for nothing.

Has he completely given up smiling too, and saying hello when you meet? Those things are free too, and so are lots of other little bits of sunshine. Does he think he will feel any happier if he pretends it is not Christmas and he doesn't have to see a bright tree and enjoy a special meal and the company of his dear wife?

Give him a kick up the arse and tell him you would appreciate it if he would have a go at cheering you up this christmas, and not turn down your attempts to cheer him up! Make the most of what pleasure are still around. Why does he think "the poor" have always had so many children? It is because making them is one pleasure which costs nothing.

Having said that, is he so fed-up that it is shading into depression and can't-be-bothered-with-anything? Does he need help from the GP?

ginny Sat 14-Dec-13 16:57:22

I hope you put it up.. It always makes the house look cheery. I hope you can enjoy at least some part of Christmas.

LizG Sat 14-Dec-13 16:55:30

I sympathise with Mr P but feel he may well regret hiding from Christmas completely. Up until today I have been saying much the same but then I had such a nice morning that I am now looking forward to the Grandchildren doing the Christmastree honours tomorrow tchsmile

Agus Sat 14-Dec-13 16:50:44

If it gives you enjoyment Phoenix. Do it. Tell DH, when he spots it, it's actually a figment of his imagination. grin

Anne58 Sat 14-Dec-13 16:40:43

Hello all,

I would value some opinions on this rather trivial issue!

We usually have a real tree, but this year can't go down that route. However, we have all the decorations (all silver, plain lights, uber tasteful!) and a fake tree up in the loft. This was bought five years ago, we used it the first year but then went back to real.

The tree is in 3 sections, and when put together is around 6ft 6 ins.

I am proposing that we put it up, but with just the 2 top bits.

Mr P doesn't want to bother tchsad says that he just wants Christmas over and done with, with as few reminders of the festive season as possible.

I appreciate that he is feeling down, and this will be a cut back Christmas, but so what? We have each other and a Lidl 3 bird roast in the freezer! (I know others have said that they weren't impressed, but we had one last year and found it suited us and was good value for money) and with the Morrisons tokens (thanks to those that supplied the missing ones!) we can buy the usual gammon/bacon joint thingy to apply curses to on Christmas Eve tchgrin

I have tried to convince him that NOT putting the tree up is akin to giving in, waving the white flag etc, but he remains unconvinced.

It will not cost a bean to put it up, and I think we would regret it if we didn't.

Your thoughts, please?

PS One year when we were going to be away for Christmas (we spent it in Bavaria!) I suggested that we didn't bother with a tree, and he almost pouted! Until we met, he hadn't had a Christmas tree for years, despite his ex-wife being German.