I have read this thread with interest, and am so grateful for the relationships I have with my children and their partners, having 2DGD one from my DS and one from my DD.....my sons partner has been delightful, and very welcoming to me in Berlin, despite getting over a broken leg, Cesarean and house move...
My DD lives an hour away, but I know if I am passing for work, I can pop in for a coffee, and they come down once or twice a month, and we have DGD over to sleep
her partners mum lives round the corner from them - they moved house 8 weeks ago and she still hasn't visited, nor has his sister who also lives nearby... I know my DD feels hurt, but is careful not to say anything to he partner and I just keep my counsel ... which is the hardest lesson to learn.. people in love are blind , and wont take kindly to comments about their choice of partner, however well intended, and this will often lead the to be defensive, and form a stronger pair bond united against the outsider... I tried to explain this to my brother who dislikes his daughter husband ( for very good reason..DV involved ) but in slagging him off disparaging him, makes her cling to him as a poor misunderstood person