Wrong and utterly stupid pronunciations...

My Grandad was one for the French too. He used to say "Silver Plate" instead of "Please".

The saddest one of all I think is that of WW1 soldiers sent to Ypres . Not able to pronounce it(most never having been outside of England and with no knowledge of French) they called it "Wipers" (Y-pers).

Instead of saying gracias, my elderly uncle would say, grassy arse

I used to work with someone who said olive war instead of au revoir when trying to speak a bit of French Shades of Del Boy.

Oh dear.
There was me thinking that the younger generation couldn't pronounce words correctly and all the time it is we DPs!

Sometimes we mis-pronounce words deliberately in this family because the DC pronounced them wrongly when they were tiny. People must think we don't know any better.

My grandfather used to say 'sparrow grass' for asparagus and old station dog for the obvious but I think it may have been deliberate.

Duh! What is "old station dog" ?

Loved the Map and Lucia series - they always said Au Reservoir.

We say serpently for certainly- silly but a family tradition.

DelBoy was best at it of course mange tout mange tout!

Alsatian dog?

A bit off topic but my 4 year old grandson can't pronounce the letter "G"
therefore his sisters are called The Dirls, I am Drandma, DH is Drandad etc.

Had to giggle diddle on Monday evening when at dinner he asked;

"Drandma, can me and the dirls go to the park with drandad? I will be a dood boy ". [drin]

That is so sweet gillybob. Both GDs entertained us when they got words wrong or in GD2s case still puts an N in front of the word use as in, I can't nooz this

Yes, what is the old station dog?

"old station dog"?
Alsation of course.
My work involved talking to children, and I often asked them if the family had a dog and if so what kind?
One little girl replied "an old station dog" and that stumped me for a while.

Some of them I find amusing - my eldest GD could never say cucumber but would always say 'cumcuber', the youngest one couldn't say shoulders, that came out as 'soldiers'.

My Dad would deliberately mispronounce words (with a gleam in his eyes and a grin) - when on holiday, he would ask me to fetch the newspaper and to ask for the Maily Dirror (it was years before I realised that wasn't what it was called), he would ask if everyone would like chish and fips. A local road, Haunch Lane, he always called Hunch Lane - and so it went on

Two I really dislike: aks (instead of ask) and pacific (instead of specific).

A friend's father used to call bikinis 'binkies'.
My son used to say vigenar instead of vinegar and beetroop instead of beetroot.
I read the names Penelope and Imogen in school stories before I ever met anyone with those names. I thought the former was Pen-elope (as in the words pen and elope) and the latter I-mo-gen (with a hard g).

Having only read the word and never having heard anyone say it, I thought the wor picturesque was pronounced 'picture-skew'. I still use it to myself sometimes!

When on holiday in France or Switzerland when our girls were little, people often invited us for an 'apéritif' - our youngest asked once why people asked us round for 'a pair of teeth'! Still often used in our family.

For me, as a native French speaker, 'th' was always my bugbear. Either came out as a 'f' or a 'v'- and of course used to put 'h's everywhere they shoudn't be. First day in London, I went to the cornershop to buy some 'cloth hangers' pronounced 'cloff hangers'- they of course didn't understand me- so I explained, clutching my jacket 'hangers to hang my cloffs on'- then had to point to said hangers. oh they laughed. Also told future OH I wanted to become a 'hairostess' in the past. I had to learn, and fast!

My stepfather was Welsh and he adored my son. When my son was about 4 years old, my stepfather, when we went to visit, said, as he usually did, 'come here boyo' and he'd hold his arms open ready to scoop my son up for a cuddle. One particular day, my son said 'Granddad, why do you call me a boil'

My DS used to say andublance, and liked small cake and the new woods ( shortbread , new forest )

My DD had a client she called Mrs Gills ( hard g ) Pie for 2 years until her boss pronounced Mrs Gillespie correctly !

The Alsation made me laugh - when we got our puppy last year, our neighbour looked quizzically at her for a few weeks, and said - 'your dog doesn't half look like an Alsation' - I sad well she is, 'Oh I thought you said she was a German Shepherd....'

When DGD was little she used to help her mum put dirty laundry in the "washing it clean" it'll never be a washing machine to me now. My Dad did what Hollydaze Dad did, and transposed the first letters of the words. Chish and fips was one of his favourites too. He also called Rimski? Korsakov, " Rip your corsets off" which still makes me smile. Oh, and flutterbies for butterflies.

A boy in my school used to say "Grand Pricks" instead of "Grand Prix". He never knew why we laughed. On holiday our tour rep told us the town was very chick, as in chic! I once heard someone order "automatic duck" in a restaurant, now that's what we call it in our family! Dad used to say "horses doovers" when talking about a starter on a menu. Lastly my friend thought we were human beans!

I remember watching a reporter on tv (on It'll Be All Right on the Night, I think) who couldn't say 'hyperdermic needle' - she repeatedly said, 'hyperdeemic nerdle'!