Birthdays blues

With presents I hope Katek

I had my 65th last year and thought that perhaps the DC might have made a bit of a thing about it, but dd2 told me that 65 wasn't a birthday that you celebrated (?) and I'd had my big do for my 60th. I didn't realise I was actually restricted to one 'do' in a lifetime! So I booked a venue, chose a nice menu ordered a fab cake and gave them the details. They were all there.

My birthday is quite close to Christmas and because my children don't tend to spend Christmas with me we used to have a meal together on my birthday. But my daughter now spends that time with her friends. I did get a card and a present from both of them, though. Happy belated birthday Thistledoo [is there a bah humbug for birthdays I wonder ]?

I think the fact that they actually chose to ignore your birthday is even worse! I'd be very hurt.

That is really upsetting for you. Certainly a good idea to ignore their birthdays and interesting to hear the reactions.

Thank you all for your nice replies and ideas. But no they didn't forget they just chose to ignore it, DD told me she had my card but kept forgetting to write it and bring it. Little DGD told me she hadn't bought a card at all, she was just telling fibs, DS just ignored it. DGD and DGS sat and crayoned me a card each the other day prompted by DH. I was quite chuffed with their efforts. Will be ignoring all birthdays this year except GC.

I would be very annoyed and upset if any one of my DDs "forgot"! my birthday! even if they could not afford a card or anything...I would at least expect a phone call or txt on that actually day to show me they had remembered...but I know for a fact they would never! forget.

I have the opposite. I'm 69 this year, but at 65 I told DD 'that's it' no more birthdays. But every year since she still does the whole balloons/resturant/pressi thing. We laugh about it because she knows I don't want it.

DS forgot DD birthday last year - usually sends a card but completely forgot - not unusual for a man I hear you say. Just a shame it is the same date as his birthday just 5 years apart.
However belated happy birthday Thistle we wont ignore your birthday on Gransnet

I had my 50th last year and got one card off my DS, nothing at all off DD or her DSs, my DGSs. Nothing off my parents, text the day after off my sister and a lovely meal out and shrub off my gorgeous brother. So I do the same back now and see how they like it. I've always made a big fuss of others but tears on a birthday are not nice so they have to learn.

Do they normally forget Thistle? If this is normal for theh then they need a boot up the bootie. If it's a one off, then a quiet word from OH would prob suffice. Next time they ask for you to do something for them say "Oh, I would love to, only I'm being treated to a belated birthday lunch/dinner" That should do it!

Hi Thistle, my son has a 'boot full' of cards and gifts he forgot to bring. He is a lot better now but for years the family joke was that 'Oh it must be in his boot'. I do think than adult children can be rather self centered. My poor mum 89 does miss out on visits from them and, often, birthday gifts. I do, though, make sure that I have a tea and cake do at home and invite the youngsters and now they always come bearing gifts and cards. I am often away for my birthday and it seems that out of sight, out of mind is the order of the day for some of them although my DDs do make sure I don't miss out.

MiL said before I came along, she bought DBH a calendar every year with her birthday marked on it - but he never opened the calendar, she bought it more in hope than expectation!

DD 'forgot' to post my card a couple of years running. So I returned the favour and strangely, have never had a reason to complain since then. I didn't expect her to remember while she was still single and footloose and fancy-free, I did once she was more settled though. I regularly rang her to remind her of everyone else's in the family, but she never once asked when mine was so clearly hadn't forgotten, she just thought she would be let off. No chance!

thistle I also would have been annoyed.
I have 4 son/stepsons. 3 always remember and do a card and gift, one who is more likely to sometimes miss it, the youngest and a bit selfish. But then he will at other times get me a gift that is just perfect. I think his girlfriend has a good influence.

Very thoughtless of them. Just a card would be nice. I bet they would have been quick enough to get in touch if they needed something. I think your DH should have a word with them.

Hope you had a nice time with your DH,* thistle*, Im sad your family did not bother, I would be gutted if my DD forgot my birthday. Next year you need to make lots of hints in advance or arrange a party where they are expected to be there and at least you will see them and that's the main thing. x

I agree with all the others on here. A card drawn by your DGCs would make a lovely, personal present.

Belated Happy Birthday for Friday

A happy belated birthday from me also.
I bet if you forgot their birthdays there would be ructions. Love to you.

No way are you a moaning old cow , you do a lot for them, they should be more thoughtful.

No, you are not being unreasonable at all. They are being incredibly mean and my heart goes out to you.
How about buying them a calendar and writing all important birthday dates (including yours) on it?
Honestly, they need a good shake.
Loads of good wishes to you, and belated birthday greetings.

Happy Birthday to you, Thistledoo!
I too have a birthday in the first week of January and I am always amazed and appreciative of those who remember. It is truly an awful time to have a birthday.
I suggest DH has a strong word!
By the way my DM always got the wrong day. You'd think she had not been there! x

Happy birthday Thistledoo and NotTooOld.

I too would be a bit miffed if my children didn't wish me a 'happy birthday' on the day. I don't care what form this takes.

Getting your DH to have a word sounds like a good idea.

Happy birthday Nottoold, were you born the same year as me?
Thank you everyone for your nice posts, I definitely feel better now. I sort of thought O might have had a ticking off for being self entered.

Happy Birthday for last Friday, Thistle. . I'm sorry you're feeling downhearted about this.

A good boot up the backside is needed! As Jane 10 has suggested, a word or two from DH needs to be given to those remiss children of yours.

My sister's son asked her if her birthday was on the 4th or 5th of September. She told him it was on the 8th. ... of August.
It's no good feeling sad in silence or having a quiet word, these thoughtless ungrateful sons and daughters need telling loudly and clearly that you expect the common decency of a card and a nice present on your birthday. Not a day late, ON YOUR BIRTHDAY!
Next year tell them this one week before the event and tell them that, as it will be a special birthday, you want the whole family there and an extra-special celebration.

Belated happy birthday Thistle.
I would have been upset too.
I agree with Jane10 that your DH should have a quiet word, and depending on the degree of contrition or otherwise, I would then decide what do about your DC's birthdays.