My parents were also undemonstrative, and as I heard my friends parents call them 'darling' I assumed I was unloved. my father was a horrible man and I could never come up to scratch. My mother was lovely but under my father's thumb and had never really grown up. it wasn't until I met my first husband's parents, at the age of 19, that I found out what it was like to be part of a loving family. I was the daughter they never had and I remained very close to them until the day they died, despite divorcing their son! In fact we went on an Esther Rantzen programme about mothers-in-law as I said I would be the perfect mother-in-law as I had the perfect role model. I hope my daughter-in-law, with whom I have a very good relationship, feels that I am.
The lessons learned from both sets of parents I hope have guided me whilst bringing up my children and looking after my grandchildren. I never criticise and only say anything, unless I feel it really necessary and then only as a suggestion. My MIL once said 'I knew you'd find out that was a mistake, but you had to find it out for yourself' - such a wise lady and in complete contrast to my parents who would be quick to always find fault and tell me I was making a mistake. I hugged my children to death, and still do and same with the grandchildren. I hope that despite the fact I live 1000 miles away in a different country that we have still manage to create a happy, close family.