This will cause a hoo ha !

"darling, would you like a story, or shall we get the play dough out?" just isn't going to cut it!

This is like my house all the time. Are you listening in Phoenix? .

To add to my above post, I did cut off outgoing calls in the days before mobiles and the internet. Oh how they wept.

I would never advocate smacking, but, sorry, all of these "I distract my grandchildren with a story or suggestion of doing something etc" just doesn't ring true. Come on, how many of us have shouted "No!" or physically yanked them away from something dangerous ? There are times when "darling, would you like a story, or shall we get the play dough out?" just isn't going to cut it!

The quick answer to that is to cut off the WIFI for older children. I don't think that is illegal yet. No children should be holding their parents to ransom thinking that Social Services have got their back. Anyway, I thought this thread was about little children, but I could be wrong.

Just a warning - whether you're in the for or against group, never lift your hand against an older child, however provoking they might be.
I know perhaps this isn't a good reason, but I've seen really awful consequences from this which are sometimes impossible to put right.

I have now read the whole thread (wow OP, you were right - a good old hoo haa) and someone questioned what i meant by a gentle tap/smack; what I meant is that a smack should not cause injury. It is more the shock and if anything is hurt it is the young un's pride.
I dont think ANYONE is saying that smacking is good, I dont think any of us think it is the perfect solution, only that it does work if a) it is merited and b) it is controlled. It should never be because you lose your temper, but a way of stopping bad behaviour if all else fails.
I have smacked my children when the occasion merited it, and they are all gentle, loving people. I can honestly say it has been on very few occasions. Most of the time just the warning reminds them that I mean it, as they know i will follow through. The key is really that, we all parent differently, but it is consistency that makes it work, whatever the approach.

When I was three, ninety years ago, my mother called me in from the garden. I said "just a minute" so she smacked me. I never forgot it and was obedient ever after.

Thank you SueDonim

It's not illegal Nankate, you CAN still smack provided it doesn't leave a mark. Probably not a good idea though unless you are the parent. When my children were small and misbehaved, I used to grab their wrist roughly with my left hand and then smack my that hand with my right. The shock of being grabbed, the sound of the smack and the sensation they felt through their own arm as I hit myself resulted in tears and the belief that they HAD been smacked. It worked very well and my daughter does it now with her children.

I am a Nursery Nurse and there is no need to smack. However, you should never use empty threats. If you say ' next time you do whatever, you 'll be on the naughty step' It must mean just that.
The minute you let children get away with things without a consequence, they will walk all over you. It's hard work but you must be consistent.

A friend of similar vintage and I were in a restaurant witnessing a very badly behaved child whose parent was ignoring said behaviour . We both looked at each other and said" that child needs a good smack! " . I don't think smacking is a good thing, but I can understand how a parent at the end of their tether may resort to it. I also think a smack, or threat of a smack, can stop a child from further destructive or inappropriate behaviour. I am not advocating smacking, if other strategies work, but I did smack my youngest son, who did behave appallingly towards his younger sister in particular. it was like world war 3 in our house for a few years, they couldn't sit in the same room without him launching a viscous attack on her , and if prevented from that he would maliciously break her toys. He is now a lovely adult, and has a great a good relationship with his siblings . But he did drive me to distraction for a while. There is a Jamacian saying " if you don't hear, you must feel" - that is, if you don't listen to what I am telling you, then you will feel my disapproval.

Never smacked my children or my grandaughter. Sadly my sons partner hit him, her son and my grandaughter, lost my son because of her evil violence.The mother had witnessed so much violence she thought it was the right thing to do.
Just be firm and stick to your guns that's what my mum told me and I did

Fair enough, Indiana.

I am firmly in the don't smack camp.
However I slapped my own daughter on the bottom on one occasion I'm ashamed to say.
I also slapped one of my grandsons once.He was kicking the cat flap very hard and the cat was on the other side. I asked him to stop more than once and I just slapped his bum.Yet again I'm ashamed of myself.I should have taken him away from the situation but for various reasons I couldn't. No excuse really.
In my whole life These are the only occasions I've slapped.I remember them but neither recipient does thankfully!

Gosh, up until 20 or so years ago must of us thought nothing of tapping our children's hands if they went to touch a hot oven or a smacking them on the bottom if they were being really naughty but of course in came the high and mighty P.C brigade and insisted we should discuss and reason with a 2 year old, since then we have had schools full of nasty little creatures who believe everything should be their way, teachers lives are made hell by these monsters. Please just take a moment to think about why toddlers lash out at other children when a toy is taken away, because its natural that's why, if it wasn't where did they learn to do it having never been smacked by their parents ?makes you think

I have never smacked my GK's because luckily, I have never had to, their parents are strict and don't smack but only need to raise their voices and fortunatley the kids seem to know they have over-stepped the mark.
However if you feel so strongly about their behaviour then I would say something to their Mum, in as casual a way as possible that you are tempted to give them a quick slap because the punishments they have do have do not seem to do the trick. Be honest - I think it's the best way. Then you will see by her reaction, how she feels about it. I don't think a slap does any harm at all if administered in the correct way and is a quick 'shock' punishment- it's enough for a lot of children.
However I would not just go ahead and do it, even if you feel as if you have to, it will shock their Mum as well and may make her react badly to what you have done. If she is a reasonable person she will understand your feelings and perhaps get out of her rut and actually put some consequences in place.

SueDonim As I said, it was tongue in cheek. Of course she is not naughty, and I have not given her 'a label'. She is a baby. The post was meant to be a joke, but for some bizarre reason you seem determined not to accept my explanation.
I give up <another sigh>

If smacking is supposed to be so efficacious, can someone explain why the children in my class at school who most frequently got 'the belt' were the ones who just kept on offending?

Sorry, I haven't read all 100+ posts, but from the first page Jalima is spot on. When I was a childminder, the children of all ages clearly understood the concept of "Schnackie's house" and the rules here may be different from home, but here they are the rules! In fact, during pick-up, the mum of one 4year old told her to "shut up" as we were chatting and the little girl cheerfully told her mum that "we aren't allowed to say Shut Up in Schnackies house!" Her mum then told her to go outdoors and shut up, lol

different styles of parenting by our darling children drives me mad. Step-Daughter & Husband have raised 2 well behaved & polite children. Step-Son & Partner have 2 unruly children who would jump on furniture (in their own home - daren't do it in our house), rude, cheeky - short visit almost too much. My own DD & OH have raised my DGS to be polite, first thing he does when visiting is take his shoes off & he is polite (little bit of prompting sometimes but he is only 6), he is a very active child but does not run around house causing havoc. My house, my rules applies & he will ask can I do.... Discipline is his parents responsibility & I would not interfere. He's no little angel but a very loveable child.

My sympathy goes out to all GPs who have to suffer the consequences of their own children's style of parenting - lots of gritted teeth!!

I'm with Thatbags and others on this one. We did smack when necessary. It was occasional and there was a reason for it. We did not abuse or assault our children. Our sons are gentle, responsible fathers with lovely families.

Both DiLs are teachers, so there's absolutely no smacking now. I applaud their coping strategies, however these may not work or indeed be recognised by all parents.

As someone has remarked, parents are not robots and children need to know that if they misbehave there will be consequences.

When my late nephew (he died young) was about 4, he reached for a hot-dog with his hands right off the bbq grill. It was hot as hades and I just instinctively smacked his hand AWAY from the bbq and loudly said NO!!! His little face crumpled and he cried for all of 5 seconds whilst I comforted him explaining how close he came to getting badly burnt. I then said I was sorry, but it was an emergency and I was not punishing him, just trying to save him real bad pain.

I got a big hug, he didn't see that the coals were hot. He waited for his hot-dog. He never went near anything hot again. Not in the kitchen, the fireplace, or outdoor bbqs.

I still miss him.... but would do it again in a heartbeat if a child was in danger of being injured.

That was me, Indiana and you mention twice in that post about your GC's misbehaviour and you also speak of her naughtiness. To me, that indicates how you regard her behaviour. Give a child a label, and all that.

With you all the way icanhandthemback

Two of our DGS (5 and 7 ) were particularly badly behaved when my DH was looking after them. (I had double booked and was babysitting DGS) They were sleeping over for two nights. Not the best behaved of children. They mocked DH and laughed at him. He was almost in tears of frustration when I arrived home. In the morning I sat them down and reminded them that we WERE going to take them to the seaside that day and because of their behaviour they would not now be going. We stayed home. They have listened to what I say now and know the consequences if they misbehave. I had told their dad when he phoned to ask how they had been. When he came in he asked if they had enjoyed their day out. The boys honestly told him what and why. Empty threats are no good at all. Stick by what you say.

I'm astonished that anyone would think a 14mo baby is 'badly behaved'.
And I'm astonished that anyone could have taken my post that seriously. The last sentence and the smiley face was meant to indicate that it was tongue in cheek <sigh>

When I was around 11 I'd stayed out a bit later than I should have done on a school night. When I got through the front door my parents were waiting and I got a sharp slap on the head by my dad.
I turned and said, in a rather superior kind of way " You should Never hit a child on their head" and went up to my bedroom.
I'd never been slapped before and I wasn't again. I found it funny at the time.