Family Respect

Absolutely agree with you radicalnan

It won't help your current predicament but I also wonder if they were sent to a cousin far away or, as suzied mentioned, they could have been sold...

Can you ask the far away cousin if he has the medals? If he does, perhaps it would be possible for them to be returned in time for your trip and a sharing scheme put into operation, despite the initial refusal of cooperation?

If the medals categorically won't be returned, ask for a photograph 'to take with you'.......

If all of this is impossible, be glad that you and your father are 'doing the right thing' and celebrating this life, medals or not.

I think grandad would be very proud that you are taking the trouble to visit the grave and pay respects from his loved ones.

The medals are nothing to do with that really, they are bits of tin he never had. He ceratinly loved his family more.

I would go , pay your respects. Unfortunately this happens quite a lot amongst families. Whether it's because they are scared they would get lost or not returned I don't know. There's obviously something amiss as they state you have no 'right' to them. Take comfort from knowing you tried to do the right thing

Families are funny things - I think your Dad should try to ignore this slight and perhaps instead take a framed photo of his grandfather and, if his service record survives, a printed framed copy of this with him instead. I am certain your gt grandfather would not want his grandson to be so upset, it is very petty of your relatives to do what they have done, especially given the age of your father, but he shouldn't let them upset him. Many service records from WWI are available from Ancestry - I have a subscription and would be happy to check if they are there for you if you let me know his full name and date of birth.

That is very unfair. When my sister in law cleared her mothers house I eventually got given the medals and details of my husbands grandfathers brother's death in an accident on a WW1 warship. I don't think sister in law was at all bothered. (I was into family history then.)

I had these medals mounted with the citations and had them on my landing for years.
I did always realise that as these were nothing to do with my blood relations and as I got older I decided they should go back to the family, one of my mother in law's brothers who is now in his early 90s.

I sent him the stuff and he is delighted. I just hope one or other of his two children will take care and pass them down. The female cousin of my OH has no children.

When my auntie initially gave several versions of where they were, she said they could be with my cousin abroad, then said they were definitely there. My dad phoned my cousin and she denied having them! Next day we were told they had posted them on to her that day! God only knows what the truth is. My cousin has previously ignored requests to friend me on Facebook. Don't think she will accept a friend request now......

That is so upsetting for your Dad Keriku, he can take comfort from the fact he is doing what is right and respectful to his fallen relatives.
I agree with others who said don't let this mar the trip and the reason for going, your Dad and the family will pay their respects and that is what matters not the actions of others however badly they behaved.

Could you ask for your cousins address/phone number ? I know it is not the same but maybe he would send your Dad a photo of the medals via the internet to take . This way you could also check if the story is true or if they have been sold .

A very sad situation keriku, please don't let this unkindness spoil the trip that means so much.

I expect it's really hard to see your much loved dad so upset. I hope he still takes the trip and takes comfort from the support of his own children's love and support. The whole story is very sad. Your right how on earth did that generation live with so much sacrifice, grief and loss. You all sound as if your a lovely family. I'd take a photograph of your dad and family standing by the grave and send it to the other side of the family, including the Canadian side and hope they feel suitably guilty.

So sorry about this keriku. I'm inclined to agree w/ suzied - they probably sold them & want the money to themselves. Such greed and selfishness!

But I also agree with Anya that visiting the grave and paying respects is most important. God bless your dad and his brothers for having their hearts in the right place!

"She always told us her gran had 4 laddies, 1 died as a child, the other 3 were killed in the war. How on earth did folk cope with the grief?"

Idk, keriku, idk. So very sad.

My granny collected her dad's medals posthumously as a small child. She had a photo of it. She always told us her gran had 4 laddies, 1 died as a child, the other 3 were killed in the war. How on earth did folk cope with the grief?

I agree with Anya and would not worry about the medals.After all, your Great Grandfather never saw them.It's the trip there that counts.

That is so mean.

Disgraceful behaviour.

However, you and your family are the ones who are going across to France to honour your great-grand father, visit his grave and pay your respects. That is the important bit and it is a memory your family will share and treasure.

How unkind. Take a photograph of your Grannie with you,

Such unkindness is being balanced by the actions of your Dad and this is who they died for too X

Btw medals are worth a bit, so maybe they've sold them.

I would rise above this, take some flowers and take a photo of the grave with your tributes. You could,get a copy of the medals for your side of the family to inherit, but they are quite expensive. I treasure my grandfathers WW1 medals along with my great uncles ( who was killed) and my dads WW2 medals, in fact I've had them framed with their photos. If your GGFwas killed in the north of France you may find his name on the memorial at Notre Dame de Lorette, which is a WW1 memorial not far from Calais. This was completed in 2014, and lists the names of all who were killed in that region, British, French, Germans, in alphabetical order . It is worth a visit.

What a sad story, keriku! Sadly, some people are very possessive and untrusting.