I don't see anything wrong with setting 'conditions' for further financial support after all GC is not a social experiement, she is a child in what sounds like a bit of a chaotic household, where her interests are not being put first. School does more than educate, it is a useful support system for children who may need additional support.
I have home educated my own children, it was not easy, and it costs money to do it properly, trips to musuems, galleries, books,etc. Unschooling, is a variation on home ed. as I understand it, more unstructured, I am not sure from reading the post that the child in question will thrive with less structure.
She may be stuck at home with poor intellectual stimulation and few peers and new opportunities. OP daughter, is selecting another expense in that method of educating her child. I paid for online courses to assist my son and just one of those cost me over a thousand pounds about 10 years ago, he was however the youngst person to take that course and he passed with distinction, so money well spent. It was my money to play with though. Music lessons, drama, sports all add to the bill. I took my son on a tour of the D day landing sites as part of the history we covered together and he had a maths tutor as my maths was a bit sketchy.
If someone has trouble managing their money and then declines a standard and free education, then my concern would be that the 'bohemian' lifestyle, money management and the ability to manage in general, is seen as less important than a lifestyle choice funded by someone else. I am not sure if child would receive free school meals for instance, certainly there would be school counsellors, and some medical services at school and the availabilty of non bohemian people to rub shoulders with.
I live in Glastonbury so plenty of home educators here and we are not short of bohemians either, not sure they all rely upon their parents to subsidise their choices though or that they feel free to reject a parent who is demonstrably supportive.
The child's father does seem to have some formal access so hopefully he will be able to oversee her education too and he may even be amenable to a visit to American GP, who knows unless he is asked. We only hear that he is abusive and we don't know if his access is supervised or not so maybe he is fine as a dad.
A trip to America would be a wonderful experience educationally for any child so certainly worth asking.
It does seem that the daughter is reluctant to have her mother in her home, that to me would sound alarm bells and I would be making life less easy for the boyfriend, after all, he is not a priority here. When it comes to my children's partners and people in contact with my GC I am not keen on free loaders and would make that clear.
Not making your mother welcome, when she has travelled so far is just rude and unkind, and that alone colours my opinion on this post.
Good Morning Wednesday 24 April 2024