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Hurt and feeling unappreciated

(108 Posts)
Maggiemaybe Sun 13-May-18 14:12:14

Two of my DC spoil me rotten with carefully chosen presents and thoughtful cards on Mother's Day, the other occasionally manages a 29p card or a last minute gift still in its brown paper bag. Even when I was overcome when he once presented me with a Super Mum mug (until he told me he'd seen it in the supermarket bargain basket because the box was battered), he hasn't learnt how easy it is to gain those important Brownie points!

It's just the way some people are about marking, or not marking, special days, OP. If he's thoughtful and loving for the rest of the year, don't sweat the small stuff.

BlueBelle Sun 13-May-18 13:47:01

Oh please don’t fret about this I give both time, plus, plus plus to all my children, one always takes me out to a meal gives me a present and card, the one who lives in another country usually sends fb greetings on THAT countries Mother’s Day not mine, the third one (a daughter and mum herself) wouldn’t know if it was mother’s, father or best shopkeepers day, she never remember birthdays of anybody, but everyone always gives her cards and presents them’s just her
It doesn’t mean that child loves you any less
Please don’t be hurt it’s only a commercial day it’s really nothing to get uptight about

Bridgeit Sun 13-May-18 13:45:22

Take comfort that this is probably thoughtlessness rather than deliberate at least this year,however if they don’t bother next year or don’t acknowledge your birthday etc, then I think you have every right to be upset,then you can adjust your input with them accordingly, best wishes.

Panache Sun 13-May-18 13:42:18

Wise words here and I simply add............ keep on giving,show your generosity and love in abundance,refuse to let this cause a rift and hurt within, because after all it may well be your turn a grandmother.

Men/boys are notoriously poor at remembering and reaching out on import dates..............main thing is that you have a loving relationship all around family members .................complete with a brand new born.

wildswan16 Sun 13-May-18 13:36:15

I have three sons, sometimes they remember to text or phone on Mothers Day, sometimes not. It is just another day and I really don't feel I need a particular day for them to tell me they care about me.

Your DIL has a new baby - she too is now a mum, you are a new grandmother. Your son is a new father, just be happy for them and forget about your hurt feelings.

dogsmother Sun 13-May-18 13:20:13

Yes I would be hurt. But please don’t turn it into a problem with your DIL, it’s down to him and I would let him know, probably in an easygoing way as possible though. Do not stop giving, the lady thing we should do is give in order to receive, certainly not to our children however be wary of what you do give.....

Granny23 Sun 13-May-18 13:18:05

If they have recently had a baby then this will be DIL's very first Mother's Day. I expect your DS, on behalf of their baby, will be spoiling her rotten and has at least taken time to send a text to you.

You are no longer the main MOTHER in this family, you have been promoted to Granny, which is also an honourable and joyful position.

Emm14 Sun 13-May-18 13:06:25

Hello wise ladies
It’s mother’s day today in my part if the world. My adult daughter bought me a beautiful gift and card but as usual, my adult son did nothing special - I got a text to wish me happy mother’s day.
My son hasn’t bought me gifts or cards for a few years now, he is thoughtless and I have accepted it - or so I thought - but it really hurts this year. He and his wife have recently had a baby and I have given them so much support over the past 6 months. Not only emotional and practical support but also financial. I am always here for them and they rely on me - and my husband - a lot. I am sad that my DIL hasn’t found it in her heart to even wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. I am so over giving and getting nothing in return. It isn’t the monetary value, I don’t want expensive gifts; I just want a token of appreciation. AIBU? What can I do to just accept my son and his wife are selfish and thoughtless? How do I stop giving? Thank you all