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AIBU

Another new fad

(134 Posts)
pensionpat Sat 17-Nov-18 08:02:08

One which I really hate is the fashion for a “cake smash” at a very young child’s birthday party. A real cake, large and beautiful, is put on the floor, and the birthday child literally smashes it with their hands until it it completely demolished, inedible and they are covered in it. The child would have to be encouraged by adults and the whole thing is probably filmed as an amusing video on Facebook or YouTube.

Even worse, I have seen adverts for cake smash clothing.

Words fail me. Wrong on every level.

Marydoll Sat 17-Nov-18 08:03:50

I agree, what a waste!

maryeliza54 Sat 17-Nov-18 08:05:45

I haven’t heard of this at all thank goodness and with dgc of 4 and 8 there are at least 2 birthday parties a month. How absolutely dreadful - do you think it might be specific to your part of the country or am I living in a bubble?

Grandma70s Sat 17-Nov-18 08:07:01

Never heard of it, but it sounds appalling. How many wrong values does that teach?

harrigran Sat 17-Nov-18 08:42:43

I have seen adverts for photographers who will provide this service for your baby's first birthday, not something I would want to encourage a child to do.

MissAdventure Sat 17-Nov-18 08:54:46

You can put all the pics on Facebook once your little man/princess has smashed their cake. hmm

sodapop Sat 17-Nov-18 09:04:09

I haven't heard of this either. What exactly does that teach our children and what does it say about the parents who allow it.
Not happening with any little man/princess in my family MissA I hate that too.

craftergran Sat 17-Nov-18 09:10:08

Good grief, we have people going to food banks and others encouraging their young to smash up a birthday cake, thinking it is funny.

Would be better if they taught their young that some can't afford such luxuries and took them to the food bank to donate it.

ninathenana Sat 17-Nov-18 09:15:45

It's not specific to a region. I've read it in magazines and seen FB pics.
I agree a total waste of good food and a bad example.

EllanVannin Sat 17-Nov-18 09:16:48

Disgraceful if you ask me. How are children expected to learn good manners when this sort of carry-on is allowed ? If anyone did that to a lovingly baked cake of mine----------

ninathenana Sat 17-Nov-18 09:17:43

PS what is salvagable does get eaten

Buffybee Sat 17-Nov-18 09:22:39

Never heard of this, thank goodness!

annsixty Sat 17-Nov-18 09:30:41

How awful, I have never heard of this thank goodness .
My GC are past the age of lots of parties now but my AC would certainly feel my wrath if they indulged in such bad behaviour.

Buffybee Sat 17-Nov-18 09:38:27

Have you ever seen anything as horrible as the look on this "Mothers" face. Poor little baby!

maryeliza54 Sat 17-Nov-18 09:43:41

I see it’s generally 1st birthdays - still awful

Welshwife Sat 17-Nov-18 10:16:49

Often the children are wearing few clothes and sitting on bare floors too.

GillT57 Sat 17-Nov-18 10:24:58

I don't usually get all affronted by things which do not affect me, but this really annoys me. I have seen photos on FB and just cannot grasp what it is all about other than the 2 minutes of fame. To put it bluntly and to quote my grandmother, it is vulgar and common.

FlexibleFriend Sat 17-Nov-18 12:54:07

It's been around for years and it's just a waste of cake in my opinion.

Jalima1108 Sat 17-Nov-18 13:27:39

I would agree with your grandmother GillT57

I have a lovely picture of one of my DD with birthday cake all over her face and hands - not from cake smashing but from trying to eat a slice all at once (she was only 2, she doesn't even like cake now!).
At least my DD had the right idea - birthday cake is meant to be eaten and shared with friends and family.

Jalima1108 Sat 17-Nov-18 13:28:49

Whatever is wrong with blowing out candles and putting germs all over the cake?

SueDonim Sat 17-Nov-18 14:35:43

I think it's pretty awful, too. What a waste.

There's also a trend of spoiling your wedding dress, I believe it's called trash the dress. The bride dons her dress and basically makes it unwearable by covering it in mud or otherwise trashing it. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trash_the_dress

Again, what a waste. It's environmentally bad and it sends a poor message. If you don't want to keep your dress, then sell it, or donate it to a charity shop. There's even a charity which accepts wedding dresses to use the material to make beautiful gowns for babies who have tragically passed way.

Kittye Sat 17-Nov-18 14:59:48

Never heard of this! But I'm not surprised at anything nowadays

Kittye Sat 17-Nov-18 15:00:44

Jalima indeed ! 😂

Jalima1108 Sat 17-Nov-18 15:06:35

Say thank you and discreetly leave the top icing Kittye!

Kittye Sat 17-Nov-18 16:58:55

Jalima Don't think I'll be eating birthday cake again , icing or no icing . I'd never thought about the candle blowing before 😳

annodomini Sat 17-Nov-18 17:22:57

This gives children all the wrong messages.

Newmom101 Sat 17-Nov-18 18:10:46

I hate this! I've got a 1 year old and had so many people questioning why I wasn't doing a cake smash. I think it's such a waste. I made DD a cake for her 1st and she obviously made a mess eating her slice but I wouldn't have let her smash it all up! I wanted to eat it.

I cant stand huge first birthday parties, gender reveal and baby showers though. I think they're all more about the parents wanting to show off than anything else. I didn't do any and have been accused of being unsociable, by my family and by other moms at baby groups. I just think all the money spent on all those things is such a waste.

Foxyloxy Sat 17-Nov-18 18:47:54

What a dreadful waste of food/money/time/effort. Who are these weird people.

Foxyloxy Sat 17-Nov-18 18:54:18

You are absolutely right. The fad will pass, you are doing the right thing. I would rather take the cake to a child who would enjoy it. I make cakes (simple ones) for children who are not likely to be given a birthday cake. I think it would make me cry, to see a child demolish a cake, when I know about the delight a child not privileged gets when they receive s simple birthday cake.

nanny2507 Sat 17-Nov-18 18:57:44

what a waste of perfectly good cake!

BBbevan Sat 17-Nov-18 19:46:34

What ever will they think of next.?

MissAdventure Sat 17-Nov-18 19:49:56

Well, I did read of a new fad a couple of weeks ago which defies belief; well to me, anyway.
Its not very nice, so I won't post about it on this thread.
Maybe another? grin

BlueBelle Sat 17-Nov-18 20:26:12

I ve never heard of this or ever seen any photos on fb I don’t think it’s hit my area thankfully never heard anything about it got quite a wide circle with small children but they still have ordinary parties with cake and candles
Very stupid

jenpax Sat 17-Nov-18 20:56:30

I have heard of this🙄 but none of my DD’s have had one for DGC I am pleased to say! but I notice the trendy photographers all advertise these here in the South. I don’t know if it’s a regional thing, but I have a daughter who had baby photos done in Sussex and two who had some done in Dorset and all their photographers offered this option!
I have never heard of trash😲 the dress but it’s another wasteful hideous idea!!

monkeebeat Sun 18-Nov-18 08:56:02

SO glad you are against cake smashes as well! Locally photographers advertise this and comments are all positive.
I find it awful that children are encouraged to destroy food for fun in a world eherr people die of starvation

harrysgran Sun 18-Nov-18 08:58:48

Never heard of this what a waste of cake and encouraging children to be destructive crazy idea no doubt filmed by parents to put on Facebook like the rest of their lives

labazs1964 Sun 18-Nov-18 09:10:50

whether cake smashes or dress trashing it is a wicked wicked waste of an item disgusting and so morally wrong

kazziecookie Sun 18-Nov-18 09:11:48

Isn’t this a sad reflection of the world we live in. With the haves and have nots. Even parties for older children seem to be who can out do others with how much they spend on them. Someone I know lent the money so that they could hire a bouncing castle for the child’s party.

adaunas Sun 18-Nov-18 09:11:59

Never heard of it until now.
Of course some would like to be “in with the latest fad” so they can post how wonderful they are on social media.
Wouldn’t do it even if I was still responsible for the parties.
Opportunity seized upon by local photographers to make money and publicise the chance to be ridiculous and pay for it by the sound of it.
Wrong message about food waste, teaching bad manners, sheer stupidity . . .

mabon1 Sun 18-Nov-18 09:12:18

The parents are irresponsible encouraging children to take part in wastefulness.

angie95 Sun 18-Nov-18 09:12:39

I agree, what a complete waste of cake and money, wirds fail me and the mind boggles!

GabriellaG Sun 18-Nov-18 09:17:29

maryeliza54
What has having two GC ages 8 and 4, got to do with having 'at least 2 birthday parties a month'?
In your family? Invites for your GCs to attend other parties? The mind boggles.

GabriellaG Sun 18-Nov-18 09:18:36

OK if the cake was made using palm oil. grin

Rosina Sun 18-Nov-18 09:20:02

Is she actually pushing that poor child's face into a cake? If that is a first birthday 'experience' then it is disgusting - poor baby, vile so called mother.

Purplepoppies Sun 18-Nov-18 09:23:13

As the person who makes the birthday cakes in my little family I'd be horrified if my dgc were encouraged to do this!! It's self indulgent and disgusting!!
All for a few likes on social media??
Social media has alot to answer for.....

moonbeames Sun 18-Nov-18 09:34:49

Sounds wrong to me, people are hungry around the world. What a disgrace. I have heard of trashing the wedding dress. After the wedding has happened I have seen video's of brides wading into the sea and trashing the dress. Such a waste. I hope the bride's parents didn't pay for it.

BlueBelle Sun 18-Nov-18 09:37:04

Well obviously MaryEliza grandkids go to lots of parties so therefore she would have expected to hear about this silly strange practice GabriellaG

valeriej43 Sun 18-Nov-18 09:41:41

Never heard of this, but nothing surprises me or even shocks me too much anymore,

grandMattie Sun 18-Nov-18 09:43:27

What??? this is disgraceful. What a waste of food - proves my point about all the fads of excess viz. dairy-free, gluten free etc., when not medically required.

Apricity Sun 18-Nov-18 09:46:51

Have never heard of "cake smashing" before this post. Totally agree it is an appalling example of gratuitous waste. Cannot imagine why any sane person would think this was a fun, sensible, amusing or good thing for their child and their friends to do at a child's birthday party. Crass stupidity writ very large.

Blinko Sun 18-Nov-18 09:47:20

This reminds me of the birthday party of DS around forty years ago. One of his friends, a girl he particularly liked, poked holes with a finger all over the cake before it had been cut or candles blown and then proceeded to burst balloons on the rose bushes in the garden. Total catastrophe wrought in a couple of moments by a six year old! I expect it shows my lack of control of the situation....

I think the photograph is pretty horrible, poor child.

granjan66 Sun 18-Nov-18 09:50:26

There are many children in this world who don't get a birthday cake 🎂, it's seems a shame to have one and smash it.

sarahellenwhitney Sun 18-Nov-18 09:57:54

There are parents relying on food banks to feed their children and now witness this abuse of food and wonder the mentality of those who find this amusing and what does it teach the children who do this.

Minerva Sun 18-Nov-18 10:00:45

I immediately thought of children in war zones and very poor families who would so love even a small slice of a cake.

Shaking my head in disbelief at what goes on these days.

Hollydoilly10 Sun 18-Nov-18 10:02:42

I've not heard about that at all, what a waste of food and it gives the wrong message to children about food.

henetha Sun 18-Nov-18 10:05:31

Not much shocks me these days, but this does. I think it's disgusting in every way. Parents who organise this should be ashamed.

inishowen Sun 18-Nov-18 10:13:31

I hate to see teenagers trashing their school shirts on the last day of term. They write messages on them. Such a waste of good clothing.

annep Sun 18-Nov-18 10:16:57

Jalima I laughed at your post, but I won't be eating it again if it involves candle blowing!

annep Sun 18-Nov-18 10:18:59

MissAdventure you can't leave it at that.
Thread please!

red1 Sun 18-Nov-18 10:26:19

another idea and associated stuff to sell with it .capitalism at the end of its shelf life!

elfies Sun 18-Nov-18 10:33:15

Can you imagine , a skilled cake decorator spending hours making and decorating something gorgeous , for young children to hack it to bits and smash .How demoralizing for the maker.
I wonder why we have so many young people who don't respect things of beauty

Magrithea Sun 18-Nov-18 10:41:29

I have a friend who makes beautiful cakes that are the cake version of a pinata - made to be broken but not for the child to 'face plant' in! Looks horrible and encourages bad behaviour surely?

NanaPlenty Sun 18-Nov-18 10:42:51

Waste of food and waste of money. I don't like it all, like a lot of other things these day.

barbaranrod Sun 18-Nov-18 10:45:04

That practice is absolutely disgusting what on earth is wrong with people doing such idiotic things ike this , I have seen people at weddings put their partners face into a cake , I tell you if my husband did that , the marriage would not go on at all I think it is call disrespectful

JanaNana Sun 18-Nov-18 10:54:20

I have,nt heard of this at all, what a waste of food and money, hope it does,nt really catch on. On a similar sort of theme though, on those Gypsy wedding programmes, at the reception it appears to be the tradition to pelt each other with pieces of wedding cake once the cake has been cut.
Those cakes they have are quite large and extravagant and it appears to be traditional for them to do it. Just why would you do this.?

Aepgirl Sun 18-Nov-18 10:56:11

This is appalling, and such a waste. The nearest we ever got to something like this for my daughter's birthday parties, was the 'flour mountain' game - a bowl of flour upturned on a plate, sweet on top, each child takes turns to cut slices of the flour away without disturbing the sweet. The one who lets the sweet fall gets the sweet by their teeth but inevitably ends up with a face covered in flour. All it cost was half a bag of flour!

Craftycat Sun 18-Nov-18 10:57:54

As someone who ran a celebration cake business from home & taught Sugarcraft for many years I am obviously horrified at this. I've never heard of it before.
It can take many hours of work to create a beautiful cake & the fact it gets 'smashed' is awful.
I'm sure none of my wedding cakes every came to such a sorry end but now I wonder about the children's birthday cakes I lovingly & painstakingly iced & moulded.
It has often taken me an entire day- sometimes 2 to produce things like The Deep Dark Wood with all the Gruffulo characters or the Pirate Ship in a sea with all the pirates, parrots etc. It's bad enough to see them cut let alone smashed!
What a horrible fad!
Luckily now I only do it for my grandchildren & I see them blowing out the candles & eating the cake.

homefarm Sun 18-Nov-18 11:18:17

It smacks of the last days of the Roman Empire.
A total waste.

Jayelld Sun 18-Nov-18 11:20:31

My DD arranged a Cake Smashing for my youngest GD for her first birthday. There we quite a few posed photos before the cake appeared and although it did get broken & my GD did get covered in chocolate icing, ìt wasnt cake flying everywhere. More my GD grabbing handfuls of cake with the occasional foot finding it's way into the mix. The whole session with the cake lasted around I minute before my GD found the bowl of warm soapy water. The cake, made by my daughter, suffered minimum damage and was eaten with coffee and by her siblings later that day.

My daughter and I both saw ìt as an amusing way to celebrate No 4 GCs first birthday, which it was. No photos were put on fb or other media, the photographer used some of the photos in her portfolio to help promote a new start to her career and we all ate cake and had fun.
In my opinion and with no intentionof offending anyone, bringing up food banks and starving people over a cake smash is rather like telling people not to eat cake, chocolate, party food or even eat out because so many people never get the chance. If people wish to help charities, which my DD and I do, there are several ways of doing so, while not denying our own children of fun activities.
As a side issue, No 4 GC is severely allergic to several foods, so has a higher than usual awareness of where food cokes from and it's preparation.
Having participated in a cake smash hasn't turned her into some uncaring monster. Equally, having bought and paid for the ingredients, made the cake, and eaten the remains, nothing was wasted, considering how much food is thrown away by the average household every day.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 18-Nov-18 11:28:45

I haven't seen this tendency yet, but for years I have been offended by the food fights that are common features in Disney films for children and teenagers.

I have no idea whether American teachers and parents allow this sort of thing, but presumably they do otherwise it wouldn't feature so often in American films or series.

Playing with food was very sternly discouraged in my family, and is still not considered acceptable behaviour in Denmark.

To me encouraging children to break things, whether food or not, is wrong and allowing them to waste food is equally as bad.

MissAdventure Sun 18-Nov-18 11:33:28

For me, its less about harming the children, and just a feeling of distaste for the what seems to be falseness of the situation.
A picture of a baby tucking in to a cake and getting covered in it is cute, but this is as if more is always better.

4allweknow Sun 18-Nov-18 11:35:45

Some folk have money to waste and no brains.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 18-Nov-18 11:36:40

I don't know for certain why this is a feature of some Gypsy weddings, but I assume it is a fertility rite, although probably now those who practise it do not realise this.

Wedding cake - a dry biscuit like concoction, was broken over the heads of the bride and groom before they entered their home in the Roman Empire as a way of expressing the hope that the pair would be fruitful, just as we still throw rice at weddings.

In Scotland in my childhood a small slice of wedding cake was sent in a special box by post to anyone the bride or groom knew who had not been able to attend the wedding. You made a wish as you took the first bite of the cake, and unmarried women were supposed to slip the box and cake under their pillow in order to dream of their future husband, then eat the cake in the morning.

Ritually speaking that was an inclusion rite, including the newly married pair into society, by passing out slices of cake that everyone who knew them ate - another function of wedding cakes, and indeed wedding breakfasts.

DotMH1901 Sun 18-Nov-18 11:37:59

My gt nieces have done this for their children - personally I think it is a silly trend but brilliant business planning on behalf of the cake makers who sell two cakes for each party instead of one!

MissAdventure Sun 18-Nov-18 11:39:22

Ah, I hadn't thought of that! 2 cakes? I'm astounded.

Marthjolly1 Sun 18-Nov-18 11:51:14

No I've never heard of this and I am appalled and horrified. Whatever next? I can't bear to think about it.

Luckylegs9 Sun 18-Nov-18 12:01:02

Not heard of it. Perhaps I am lucky where I live I don't know. What an awful message to give to children. Helping those with less than they have, like Food Banks is the message to send.

Teddy123 Sun 18-Nov-18 12:02:08

Utterly vile! Never heard of it!
Big yuk 🙈

pheasant75 Sun 18-Nov-18 12:08:31

this is typical of younger generation parents sending all the wrong messages.
program the other day stated how many youngsters are suffering with depression any wonder phones, bad behavior on tv, facebook where is all the humor had plenty when we were younger good old days

Jan66 Sun 18-Nov-18 12:48:09

Its not so new though - it has been going on for years. It is a waste I agree, and to encourage children to be destructive and wasteful. It is of course though whatever seems to sell these days. If photographers or videographers offer cake smash photoshoot packages to families or if parents as for them - then it is an opportunity to make money.

Hattiehelga Sun 18-Nov-18 13:17:35

How is this funny ? What is it teaching the child ? What a waste. I bet the parents would not think it acceptable if the child did it at home to food carefully prepared for a meal. Totally ridiculous.

hulahoop Sun 18-Nov-18 13:43:09

How wasteful giving wrong messages to children some people have more money than sense !

Newmom101 Sun 18-Nov-18 13:51:03

*this is typical of younger generation parents sending all the wrong messages.
program the other day stated how many youngsters are suffering with depression any wonder phones, bad behavior on tv, facebook where is all the humor had plenty when we were younger good old days*

I don't agree with this. I'm a younger generation parent and hate this, my parents were trying to encourage me to do this as they wanted the photos to show to people. I didn't as I hated the idea of the waste.

And I don't think you can blame the amount of teens experiencing depression on current parenting either. There have always been people who have been depressed, there just seems more now as it's discussed out in the open. The same way that child abuse, cancer and autism all are more 'prevalent' these days. We talk more about depression and abuse and it's acceptable to talk about it, rather than sweep it under the rug. We can diagnose cancer and autism earlier, therefore they seem more prevalent.

There have always been parents in every generation who have poorly parented, whether currently sticking kids in front of TVs or older 'children must be seen and not heard' attitudes. However I do think this trend is very reflective of the wasteful society we live in now. I donate all DDs old items to my local baby bank, but so many others I know just bin them. Cheaper prices these days seem to have created this wasteful attitude.

Tillybelle Sun 18-Nov-18 13:58:56

I'm trying to post this empty to convey that I am speechless. Horrified. Grief-stricken even! I daren't say more I might offend.

Nanny41 Sun 18-Nov-18 14:15:18

Not heard of it, I think its absolutely disgusting, nobody did badly after blowing out candles I dont think, but hey it might happen.

GabriellaG Sun 18-Nov-18 14:16:07

Mankind (and I make no apologies for making it gender specific) is rapidly going down the pan, indeed, we're 2/3rds there.

Elrel Sun 18-Nov-18 14:21:21

I guess someone's baby grabbed their 1st birthday cake and dived in. Everyone laughed, the photo/video went on Facebook and got lots of Likes. Those unable to think for themselves copied it and photographers and cake makers saw an opportunity to cash in. And so it became 'a thing'. How sad and pointless.
That photo of the mother (?) shoving her baby's face into a cake that the unaware little one was possibly admiring is horrible. I have an unworthy urge to shove the woman's face into something.

glammagran Sun 18-Nov-18 14:24:08

Never heard of this. Utterly appalling.

Luckygirl Sun 18-Nov-18 14:33:21

All this stuff makes me feel physically sick.

Skye17 Sun 18-Nov-18 14:37:49

It’s such a horrible idea and so wasteful.

Mycatisahacker Sun 18-Nov-18 14:56:30

Hideous idea. Any parent encourages this must be pretty thick and stupid. Whet an awful message to give to children.

moggie57 Sun 18-Nov-18 15:08:24

What a waste.make sure its clear that there will be NO cake smash.you are in charge not your child

instagran Sun 18-Nov-18 15:13:22

Hitting a toy paper donkey (panata) with sticks to make toys come out once it has disintegrated is also a vile fashion. Don't the stupid parents realise it just teaches children that it's ok to hit animals?

Jalima1108 Sun 18-Nov-18 15:20:17

I don't think so!
Piñatas have been around for centuries, they're not a new fad.

Robertanthony Sun 18-Nov-18 15:24:17

Yes I am in England and this sort of destruction is creeping in everywhere. What happened to love and thanks!!

librarylady Sun 18-Nov-18 15:27:59

If you follow the link to the article about 'wedding dress trashing' you can see that one poor woman was killed following this distasteful trend - went into a river, her (presumably) already heavy gown got soaked and she was swept away sad

nannyYvie Sun 18-Nov-18 15:36:24

I agree, a total waste of good food. I went to a photo shoot last year where my friend had booked a cake smash theme for her one-year old daughter. First, baby was given a wooden spoon, and encouraged to tuck in. She obviously didn't think it looked like food plus it was quite hard, so she was reluctant. She was then encouraged to smash with her hands, but she was totally confused and didn't want to play with it so started to cry. The photos turned out lovely though and at least mum got to take the giant cupcake home to eat normally.

Thirdinline Sun 18-Nov-18 15:53:05

The cakes can cost £100 as well!

MissAdventure Sun 18-Nov-18 16:04:43

Its so contrived.
I really dislike anything like this.
I look around me and the world has gone mad!

Jalima1108 Sun 18-Nov-18 16:34:10

I look around me and the world has gone mad!

MissA All the world is mad but me and thee and I think I had better not finish the quotation grin