AIBU to do things my way?

friend's

Why not ask them to pick their three? favourites of the usual activities and then introduce the same number of new ones - some really good ones have been suggested here. Totally changing the familiar format may not prove popular, I remember one of my daughters spending C. at a friends house and being quite upset because they didn't open any presents until after lunch - understandable though, because they were farmers and animal welfare came first.

Don't forget the sign to remind Father Christmas - 'Father Christmas please call here' - FC may not realise if this is the first time they will be staying with you.

If you want to see where Father Christmas is going, on Christmas Eve the NASA website usually track him across the world and show this online.
Sometimes he even follows the same route as the International Space Station!

Definitely think up some new traditions for your own household at Christmas! Lots of great ideas here. Baking is a great one …..xmas cutters and gingerbread mixture is a good one ...then maybe decorating with the tunes of squeezy icing from supermarkets. Another one is sticking xmas stickers all round the house, give them both a card each with dots on and off they go to find them all, covering each dot with a sticker. When all are found the "earn" a clue as to where they find a surprise ..,which can be anything you fancy really!

Making name cards for the xmas table? Stickers and glitter pens and card!

A new game to play? Making xmas tree decorations ...in "Tiger" shop if there is one near you, they have plain "baubles" (not glass!!) to be painted.

Most of all make sure you really enjoy it with them

Ask the children what they would like

You can buy gingerbread houses ready baked with tubes of icing and sweets to decorate it. A 4 and 8 year old would love that!

If you want to see where Father Christmas is going, on Christmas Eve the NASA website usually track him across the world and show this online. This could be fun to follow - maybe even using a REAL (paper!) map and/or a proper Atlas

Make your own memories & traditions & then they will have the best of both worlds

Small table presents at mealtimes go down well - in particular games
Silly hats - not just the ones in the crackers - we use them year after year.
Setting fire to the Christmas pud with a little brandy.
Christmas Eve this year - 0.7.30 see the space station go over if it's clear - small children might think it's Santa.
We always have enormous socks for the stocking and fill with all sorts of cheap little presents - small kids love it.
I have numerous Christmas books and we read them every year - nice by a log fire if you have that.
Help with -lights, candles, decorations is always good.
Gingerbread houses - even if they fall down!
Tell them you always stand for the queen - creates a giggle.

Just be yourself. And allow the children to be themselves, especially if they do let slip the odd comment that might suggest they miss other loved ones. In fact, you might be doing them the greatest kindness by acknowledging that this is all quite different for them and giving them space to speak. They might be just a bit nervous too!

ajanela, we've done similar with friends who we've often spent Christmas with - one of them is Swedish. So it would be Swedish Christmas on Chr. Eve - lots of fishy things inc. gravadlax, and 'rice porridge' - a very rich rice pudding! - glogg and iced vodka. .

Followed on Chr. Day by turkey, Christmas pud, Buck's Fizz, etc. - best of both worlds!

Why don't you have a chat with their parents about it? And then add your own traditions.

It is a difficult one and I can see why you are fretting a bit, HOWEVER we are all different even in our own families. If it were me I would do things that you did with your own children, there must be traditions that you remember doing when they were young and I would make Christmas in your home your own ideas. I think your DGC would love that and always remember how different it was for them. Best wishes and hope all goes well at Christmas for you all.

Just do things your way, there is always a pantomime to go to. They may want something different if they are spending time with you this Christmas.

You must be yourself scarfgran or it will feel false. I'd hope that if you're loving and cheerful and everyone is happy that is enough? Surely the parents will have told them that it will be 'different' - neither better nor worse just more laid back. If they can stuff themselves with sweets, chocolates and cake, etc, have nice toys to play with, who needs games, charades, etc. I'm sure you'll have a lovely time.

Celebrate Christmas as you did when your own children were little, or as near to it as you can get. Your son will recognise and love the traditions.

Ask in advance if there is anything that they do that is absolutely indispensable, but don't try to copy the other grandparents.

Enjoy Christmas!

Just to add, since Gds (2) has boundless energy needing a physical outlet, one 'non traditional' tradition I've thought of is a Chr. Eve session at the local pool, to help tire him out.
With a bit of luck, dd and SiL will take them - they can both swim after a tadpole-y sort of fashion.

Be flexible. Have your own tradition but if they want to do things they have done at other Christmas's let the parents organise it with the children's help and show you how it is done. Their Christmas will be spoilt if they want to do something and it doesn't happen.

At age 23 (no children then) I spent my first Christmas with my Portuguese family in Portugal. They celebrated Christmas on Christmas eve, with a special dish of dried cod, cabbage, etc all cooked in a big pot, the cake was a sponge cake. (The reason for this is that at that time this was very cheap food so rich or poor, everyone could eat the same food.) They openned the presents just after midnight. I woke on my Christmas day, nothing happened. I was very sad and disappointed.

Over the years mine and their traditions have merged and we did everything from both countries customs and celebrate on Chrismas eve and Christmas day. They loved the turkey but never really got the cranberry sauce and I learnt to enjoy the dried cod.

Definitely make your own traditions for your grandsons, they will love you for it and will surely want to be with you again at Christmas, they will appreciate that you do things differently to their other grandparents. Good luck and go with your instincts.

Some wonderful ideas. Re: biscuits try and hunt out some christmas tree or star shaped cutters. The only thing I would do the same is keep the actual bedtime routine the same as at home, then you are not storing up problems for the future. Everything else you can 'wing it' as they say.

And yes totally agree with other posters. Never ever try to compete! Have a great time.

Yes, do it your way - but with a few fun things thrown in. I always buy a couple of silly table games for after Christmas lunch.

If there's anything they've grown to expect, and will be upset if it's missing, then personally I'd do it. It won't stop you adding any traditions of your own.

We'll be having Gdcs for the first time this year, but they're only 2 and 3, so too young for specific expectations, except that they know Father Christmas will be coming. I have some lovely 'Night Before Christmas' and Nativity books to read to them.
And I don't mind admitting that I ditched my 'not overdoing it' principles and bought a (cheap!) Father Christmas duvet set for the double bed they'll be sharing.

BTW I recently found a really lovely Christmas book for this age - 'Room For A Little One', with truly beautiful illustrations of all the animals in the stable - and we'll be watching The Snowman. Apart from putting out a snifter and mince pie for FC, and carrots for the reindeer, that'll be about it, though we might try some of those stained glass biscuits - they sound lovely.

How about making gingerbread men either with them or in advance and let them decorate them. Make a few extra too so that their parents can be amazed at what they have done. Not sure how long before C Eve you will have them but a pantomime trip is usually fun even for little ones. Whatever do not try to compete but use whatever you used to do with your own family as a starting point to bedtime. Cuddle up on the sofa in warm (new) pyjamas and tell them stories about what you children did on C Eve.
(Sorry but I don't even mention the C word until about two weeks before the day here!)

Do it your way