Gransnet forums

Reply to my post on Facebook

(65 Posts)
Alexa Tue 04-Dec-18 16:12:27

I had replied to an interesting humorous but meaningful Facebook post from my adult grandson, who has studied philosophy at university . In my reply I commented on the philosophical meaning which interested me.

This morning my son , his father, responded that it was supposed to be a light- hearted post. And I felt snubbed. I wonder if my son feels the young man needs to be defended or something.

Sorry if this sounds really trivial but I really do feel son has snubbed me on a public Facebook page.

Ilovecheese Tue 04-Dec-18 16:52:42

Could your son be a tiny bit jealous of you and your grandson having a discussion that didn't include him?

Jane10 Tue 04-Dec-18 17:23:11

I don't think you should take this personally. He's just wanting to join in on a thread that's open to all you Facebook friends. Don't worry about it.

FlexibleFriend Tue 04-Dec-18 17:34:28

Jeez people are so easily offended by everything these days. We don't know your son so can't possibly know what he meant. Not much bothers me and I know what my kids mean when they say stuff, other people are a bit of a mystery tbh. I'd say lighten up and stop feeling snubbed but hey a really novel idea might be to speak to the people concerned because they might actually know what was meant.

Luckygirl Tue 04-Dec-18 18:37:31

Bloody facebook! - stay away from it!!!

Day6 Tue 04-Dec-18 18:51:15

I only have 53 Facebook friends and these are people I really know and have contact with in one way or another. (ie: I don't 'harvest' people or odd acquaintances. Lots of my regular friends of my age don't do Facebook) I tend to post things I find interesting/funny/important and invariably I get no 'likes'. grin I talk to myself and hope my observations may have brightened or interested others.

I am 'snubbed' all the time. or the same three people may 'like' studd I post. It really is a waste of time really but I do like to pass on things I enjoy or notice as worthy of a re-read.

In your case Alexa I'd be very tempted to post something along the lines of "I know this isn't serious but that particular aspect of it interested me" Or leave it altogether. FB moves on so quickly. You were probably the only one who thought your son was being a bit starchy. But yes, it is annoying and slightly humiliating. Try not to take it to heart. (I am completely crushed to be ignored so often...ha ha! )

Iam64 Tue 04-Dec-18 18:52:37

Don't take it personally and don't respond. Not worth getting into some kind of family thing about facebook.

BlueBelle Tue 04-Dec-18 19:01:19

Totally agree with Iam64 s post don’t take it so seriously and definitely not worth getting in a lather about

Mycatisahacker Tue 04-Dec-18 19:18:00

Text your son and tell him not to be such an arse. I have 3 grown up sons and I would do that in a heartbeat as they would do to me if I deserved it. Thats family.

Did he respond on FB or personally to you? To be honest those philosophical posts make me laugh as it’s usually all about the poster and in a grandson age person that’s fine. Your son however should know better.

Shortlegs Wed 05-Dec-18 09:46:09

Yep, sounds really trivial to me.

razzmatazz Wed 05-Dec-18 09:47:46

Sorry but I cannot see anything to be snubbed about. It's like someone saying " It was a joke " about something that was said . If it was on Facebook he was probably laughing as he said it but you can't see that . Far worse things happen at sea. I would never feel snubbed about that and I' m vey thin skinned normally.

Rosieroe Wed 05-Dec-18 09:47:58

Probably if he had put a laughing emoji after his comment you would have taken his comment less personally. It was probably an off the cuff reaction to your post sounding rather pretentious. You need to follow up with a witty comment in return to make the point that you can be humorous too.

LuckyFour Wed 05-Dec-18 09:57:45

I agree with Luckygirl, keep away from Facebook, it's mostly photos of themselves doing nothing much and the occasional picture of a flower in the garden. I just delete straight away.

Skweek1 Wed 05-Dec-18 10:02:20

I have about 10 FB friends - practically everyone in the world is friends of my Brazilian adopted sister in Rio! She has family in Canada (her sister married a Canadian), all over Brazil and when she visited England in her early 20s she brought her best friend, who I also really liked, so I added her as a FB friend, and now I seem to have got her whole American Italian family ( tbh, one I don't like that much, because she's a staunch Republican Trump fan and heaven help anyone who disagrees with his POV!). For all that, it's useful to be able to keep in touch, laugh at the jokes, admire the DC and DGC and a nice way to hear new ideas. If I want to react in a deeper way, I'll send an e-mail or maybe even by old-fashioned snail mail!

Irenelily Wed 05-Dec-18 10:04:59

I agree with Luckygirl and Luckyfour. Keep away! My eldest daughter and I have never been on Facebook. From what we hear from other members of the family it is a wise decision. We have a family What’s App for keeping in touch which is fun.

Lancslass1 Wed 05-Dec-18 10:07:30

Why go on Facebook ?
Why not respond via text or email to a family member.

red1 Wed 05-Dec-18 10:11:21

some of us are thick skinned some of us the opposite, when you put a personal issue on a internet forum,including this one you are open to many differing opinions,some helpful, some not.I don't use facebook anymore ,even my sons stopped using it,his reason was that he was tracked at every move.As someone said a closed facebook is better, even better on a personal issue is a close friend you can confide in.

Mycatisahacker Wed 05-Dec-18 10:14:28

There’s nothing wrong with FB as long as you don’t mind scrolling hundreds of mindnumbing photos or peoples food or cocktails and that most irritating bloody little moving elf! grin

Nannarose Wed 05-Dec-18 10:16:57

I bet your grandson loved your response!
And it was probably one of those posts that can be enjoyed at different levels.

Chewbacca Wed 05-Dec-18 10:18:08

This is going to sound really radical but..... how about picking up the phone and actually speaking to your son instead of trying to understand the sub text in a Facebook post? If his post has irked you so much, ask him about it. hmm

grandtanteJE65 Wed 05-Dec-18 10:24:33

This isn't trivial as it's worrying or annoying you, Alexa, but try to shrug it off. Otherwise you risk making a mountain out of a molehill.

Is your son interested in philosophy, or is he perhaps jealous that you and your grandson share an interest that he doesn't?

Rocknroll5me Wed 05-Dec-18 10:26:51

I think you are right to feel peed off. After all notifications on Facebook are public and we all know that to be dismissive of a family member or a friend in public is a no no. Don’t think think there is much you can do about it though except temporarily seethe and and get our support.
I have a quite disagreeable SIL in person but he is always supportive and friendly online and that does a lot to keep our relationship on even keel. So it’s not trivial, he is telling you to back off. And that hurts. It’s sll about boundaries physical and virtual. As someone else said he is standing between you and your grandson and wanting to direct the communication. Your wisdom will dictate. We learn a lot everyday. Overall though it is about manners but also that massive gulf that children have in not recognising their elders brains when it doesn’t suit.
Great forbearance needed.

ReadyMeals Wed 05-Dec-18 10:50:55

You don't really know who is at the bottom of this though. For all you know (OP) it could be that the grandson whinged and moaned about your comment until your son felt forced to say something to keep him quiet. Or maybe it was the DIL or who knows. Social media makes people criticise other people's behaviour in a way they would never do face to face. I'd let it drop just for the sake of peace cos facebook stuff has a way of escalating that, like I said, would never happen in the room together.

sarahellenwhitney Wed 05-Dec-18 11:03:57

Alexa. Your son needs to get a life and you do not have to justify what you did to him or anyone. What happened to freedom of speech?

mabon1 Wed 05-Dec-18 11:09:13

Forget it.