the man upstairs

Had a fair few years of this myself. When we lived in the top flat above shops we had a rather horrible downstairs neighbour. My daughter was only about two and she used to toddle up the hallway to our bedroom. Well that started a rather unpleasant bout of the neighbour banging her flat door closed, which made us all jump out of our skin. After this, any time my daughter made even a slight noise she would bang her flat door. It was like living on a knife edge and to this day has made me jumpy about people making a noise in my house. The next thing that happened was when it became obvious I was pregnant with my second child, she'd shout out as we were passing her flat (to access the main street door) that we were 'breeding like rabbits'. My then husband was from India, and we were also racially abused by her. My daughter is now 45 so it was in the days when racial abuse was not a crime in the legal sense. It wouldn't happen today so blatantly, but it was highly unpleasant and has left a lasting effect on me. These days she'd be taken to court and prosecuted.

Hi
Put on a fluffy pair of ear muffs
Go and say hello, and ask if he got any slippers for Christmas.
It should start a friendly conversation.

Junie

My father lived in a new build flat, fully carpeted. The lady in the flat below complained about him moving from room to room, constantly. It made him scared to do anything and made him depressed and miserable. He eventually moved out. I’m sure the man upstairs has no idea that you can hear him and would be embarrassed and upset if he knew.

Are the flats rented or owned? If they are rented, you can ask his landlord to make the flat comply with current regulations. Alternatively, ring the council and see what they advise.

I think your problem is living in an old house , I doubt he is doing very much out of the ordinary. In my house sound seems magnified upstairs ,my daughter shifting about in bed sounds like she is moving furniture and she most certainly isn't .

Perhaps the poor chap is losing his hearing so that's why he's speaking loudly.
Don't think you can do anything about it personally. Having once lived I a "noisy" flat, once you accept it, it is less irritating!

When an older house is divided into flats, one condition is that extra soundproofing is put in between the floors. Does one person own the whole house, or the freehold? Do you pay a maintenance charge? You could ask this person or the group who own the freehold if soundproofing could be put in, or just thick carpet put into the room above your bedroom.

Can't be any help to you but oh, what a help to me to know it's not just me. Have same problem in modern flat but it is husband who uses another bedroom and bathroom who wakes me and disturbs my thinking during the day too. Thought I was getting claustrophic - think it must just be life in too close quarters
Good luck to you

This made me laugh so much MissAdventure!

Unfortunately, that's one of the disadvantages of living in a poorly soundproofed flat.

I don't think it's worth upsetting or annoying your neighbour by raising this issue.

The trouble is, you may now have become hyper-sensitive to any sound at all. Once I become aware of a ticking clock in the bedroom it becomes quite impossible to ignore it.

I hope some of the suggestions made here will help.

The toilet noise is due to him aiming into the water instead of the side of the bowl!

Yes, I, like merlot, thought this was going to be about God.

I bought some headphones that block sounds out. My neighbour upstairs sometimes falls asleep with his 42 inch TV on full blast, above my bedroom.

I sleep in noise blocking headphones now.

Our neighbours were building an extension and it would give them a bigger bedroom so I asked her if they would now have an ensuite. She replied that she did not want an ensuite because she did not want to have to listen to the sound of her partner peeing in the middle of the night . She decided on a dressing room instead!

A friend of mine, when at rock bottom of their marriage, went to see a counsellor, she told him that she could not stand the sound of her husband peeing in the morning. They have been divorced for some years now.

Many moons ago, when OH was young, he and his mate went upstairs to have a pee. We heard uproarious laughter descending from above and it seems that they had the idea of standing on the scales whilst they had a pee and watching their weight go down. Hilarious! Boys will be boys!

Not the toilet issues Aggie , I meant the walking around , doors etc

Earplugs are the answer if you don't want to move. Thank goodness he's not a hard rock fan or prone to energetic sexual liaisons.

MissAdventure
"At one time I had 6 men living in the flat upstairs."

I'm just in a faecetious mood this morning but my mind boggled at that. First laugh of the day!

Maw
I've heard many of those.
I can't honestly believe that people would have a word with someone to say they live below and can hear someone living above.

My friends downstairs neighbour complained about hearing her alarm clock in the morning.
I'm not sure what she thought could be done about it.

There is a play by NF Simpson which just fits this scenario
It’s called A Resounding Tinkle !

www.ayoungertheatre.com/review-a-resounding-tinkle-rosemary-branch-theatre/

(Although this doesn't help, he sounds like he has a very efficient bladder for his age. )

One of the problems with living in a flat is always the neighbours.

We lived in some lovely ones in big grounds which were built in 1950s. They attracted the elderly and what a load of moaners they were. The grass wasn't like Lords cricket ground, people were talking under their balcony etc. I was so glad to move.

Your neighbour needs carpeting to muffle the sound. Perhaps if you run into him and get chatting you could have a conversation with him about general noise in the flats without saying he is the noisy one. He may get the hint.

To be quite honest if you live in a flat you have to expect to hear all sorts of noises and the poor man cant not pee Presume he hasn’t got a wife or you might head more ?

We used to live in a ground floor flat in an old house and could hear upstairs (not toileting thankfully) because they had wooden floors. Modern flats tend to have better soundproofing. When you first move you are much more away of noises because they are strange and it takes a few months to get used to them and treat them as background. My friend lives next to a railway line, and I jump when a train roars past but she doesn't even notice it. I think JenniferE's suggestion re getting to know the guy plus option of soundproofing are good.

Have you met the man? If not why not go up, introduce yourself in a friendly way, then politely mention that you think the soundproofing between your flats is poor.

Ask him if he ever hears you. If he seems approachable you could then mention that you can hear quite a lot from his flat (without obviously being specific about the loo sounds!) and then enquire as to whether his flat is carpeted.

The other alternative is for you to get a builder to install a soundproofed ceiling in your flat.. You mentioned it is in an old house, so hopefully your ceilings are high enough for that option.

I understand they work quite well. You really don't want to have to resort to earplugs in your own home.

I have also, in my years as a flat dweller had the misfortune to live above someone who constantly complained.
Its really awful being afraid to move around in your own home.
I rather prefer being downstairs.