Gransnet forums

AIBU

Noisy kids after dark

(57 Posts)
Cressida Fri 12-Apr-19 11:46:51

A family moved in across the road a few months ago and their children are often extremely noisy after dark. Last night they were still out in the street at 10pm. Before the clocks changed they were regularly out until after 8 on school evenings.

AIBU to think that primary school age children should be indoors once the street lights come on.

MamaCaz Fri 12-Apr-19 12:57:23

I don't think yabu to want the children to be indoors after dark, as noise from outside can be quite unsettling after dark. Whether or not yabu to expect it is less clearcut, imo.

BlueBelle Fri 12-Apr-19 13:17:35

Unless they are being vandals, if they are just playing it’s up to the parents Mine never stayed out after dark but that was me I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to think they should be indoors but I think it’s unreasonable to expect everyone to have the same set of rules as you
My 90+ neighbour when my kids were growing up told me how she loved hearing them playing because it reminded her she was still alive I ve never forgotten those wise words

Bathsheba Fri 12-Apr-19 13:39:17

BlueBelle your last paragraph actually made me feel a little choked ?

BradfordLass72 Sat 13-Apr-19 01:44:49

Children around my home play out until all hours, especially in the school holidays, and can be quite noisy.

I don't mind at all because I love to hear them enjoying themselves, even at 8 or 10pm.

I wouldn't say you are being unreasonable to feel the noise is an intrusion, just that you haven't yet learned to manage living in a community with children.

Turn up your radio or TV, use earplugs, be glad they are playing and enjoying themselves rather than screaming in fear.

Community life is all about compromising and you can always ring Noise Control if, after midnight, they are still making a racket.

eebeew Sat 13-Apr-19 02:08:34

We hardly ever see children playing outside these days. I really like to hear them but I wouldn’t want them outside playing noisily at 10pm more than now and then. If we choose to live in a neighbourhood there are always going to be some annoying noises. Weed eaters and electric saws are the ones I dislike but they don’t go on for ever. Oh and barking dogs!

Barmeyoldbat Sat 13-Apr-19 07:31:46

Love to hear people around and don’t mind it outside. If the noise is to much when I want to sleep I put earplugs in. You are hearing life.

Nicea Sat 13-Apr-19 08:59:42

I don’t think you are being unreasonable. While on the one hand I notice that as I get older I am increasingly sensitive to noise I also believe that objectively parents/society set fewer boundaries for children now. There used to be ‘time’ boundaries - children would be put to bed whereas now they are in restaurants/on the street at 10pm. Or ‘place’ boundaries for adults or quiet activities but the other day I was in a bookshop and a small child was shouting and riding his scooter up and down the aisles. Or ‘decibel’ boundaries when a parent would shush a child for shouting in a public area whereas now everyone is just supposed to accept that children can’t help being noisy and exuberant at all times and at all locations. What to do about it is another matter. If you live in an urban area there will be noise and though some people can screen out certain noises and not others it remains a challenge to cope with what particularly disturbs you. Complaining makes me feel mean and intolerant unless it really is the middle of the night. I have some noise-cancelling headphones which help as does listening to music or tv or retreating to the one room in my flat which is not on the street and almost always quiet.

fairisle Sat 13-Apr-19 09:08:33

I don`t mind hearing primary school children playing after dark,it`s the teenagers i don`t like to hear

Teddy123 Sat 13-Apr-19 09:28:29

It's half-term down here so perhaps their parents are giving them some leeway.

We all have large gardens where I live so my major irritation is the noise from leaf blowers .... Including my own. Compared to that the noise of joyful youngsters doesn't bother me .......

ayokunmi1 Sat 13-Apr-19 09:39:16

Yes but it bothers her.lots of good advice given as Ive gotten older im more sensitive to sounds and noise levels as well.
The mid term will be over soon.

sarahcyn Sat 13-Apr-19 09:41:09

To see any children playing outside instead of stuffing indoors in front of a computer screen is a blessing, and children playing together are not likely to be playing in complete silence... but YANBU to expect primary age kids to be indoors and going to bed by 9pm.

Grampie Sat 13-Apr-19 09:49:14

Just as annoying is the sound of fireworks when it is not Bonfire Night. More and more people don't follow our quietness conventions. We have to just accept it.

janeayressister Sat 13-Apr-19 09:49:48

Don’t focus on them as it’s the parents responsibility to do what is necessary. You also don’t want to turn into a grumpy old kill joy.
Get ear plugs and turn your TV up. Or what would be better is to go out yourself in the evening as much as possible.
Lying in bed and being inactive mentally and physically apparently shortens your life.

JohnD Sat 13-Apr-19 09:59:05

Bluebell, you are so spot on. As long as they are not too noisy, the sound of children playing is wonderful and can be so refreshing.

Rosina Sat 13-Apr-19 10:01:50

I used to have a single mum neighbour with several children who were usually out in the garden racketing about, and often until late in the holidays. I didn't ever mind - they were noisy but nice and I would far rather they were doing that than stuck inside in front of some screen or another. This has to be qualified of course by just how much noise and how long it goes on for; I imagine having a ball bounced against your living room wall relentlessly or shrieking very close to the house would be trying. A gentle word with the parents perhaps if you really feel it gets too much? They grow up very quickly and then start going out with their 'mates' .

Gonegirl Sat 13-Apr-19 10:05:32

Totally wrong for kids to be playing out after dark. It's dangerous for one thing. What if one wanders off?

Bad parenting.

Gonegirl Sat 13-Apr-19 10:06:30

We have a screecher near us. Only during the daytime, thank goodness. She doesn't seem to grow out of it either.

Oldwoman70 Sat 13-Apr-19 10:20:34

Gonegirl Are you one of my neighbours grin I also have a screecher living near me - ever since she was a little child it seems she is incapable of communicating except by shouting and screaming (she isn't autistic or suffer from any mental incapacity). She also doesn't appear to have grown out of it.

HurdyGurdy Sat 13-Apr-19 10:21:04

Well going against the grain, I'm with Cressida here.

Yes, to hear children playing outside and enjoying fresh air is a good thing. But at ten o'clock at night?? And in the dark?

Cressida doesn't say how many children there are, but she calls them primary age, so that's going to be under the age of 11? Not much older than that, anyway.

On a school night, surely those children should be indoors, if not in bed then having a calming time before going to bed.

So no, I don't think Cressida is being unreasonable. She's not saying she's objecting to the children playing - just the noise they're making late at night. After dark.

GreenGran78 Sat 13-Apr-19 10:22:48

If it's a warm evening, why not sit outside and watch them playing. Even have a nice chat. You will all benefit from the interaction.
If you make friends with them, you might also find that they take an interest in your life, and maybe even enjoy helping you out as they get older. I have a couple of teenage 'boyfriends' who live nearby who are always willing to give me a hand at cleaning out the shed, etc. I have common land across the road from my house. It used to be teeming with children, when my own were young. Now it is just used by dog-walkers, and that makes me sad.

GrannyAnnie2010 Sat 13-Apr-19 10:48:18

GreenGran78, what a wonderful outlook on life! I'm inspired.

nannyof4 Sat 13-Apr-19 10:50:29

Where i live children dont play outside as its a busy road,besides theres only one child and she hardly goes in the garden to play either.I do back on to an infant school and love hearing them in the playground and can see them.Would much rather hear children playing than a dog keep barking.

Gonegirl Sat 13-Apr-19 10:54:45

Oooh Oldwoman70! I wonder! grin

maryeliza54 Sat 13-Apr-19 11:04:32

We have children who play outside in the street in the summer months. One is a screecher beyond belief. In the warm weather with windows necessarily open or sitting in the garden , it was impossible to screen the noise out. Eventually last year I had a word with one of the group of parents. I said that the street was a communal space and no one either me or them had rights to use it without considering others. We agreed that 8.30 was a reasonable curfew time as we could still enjoy our garden for a while and they’d had a good long time playing out ( and disturbing us) since mid afternoon. We’ll see how it works out this summer.